Would you keep this secret?

[Memoo]

I have a friend who works in a school (I use to work thete too) today she told me about an incident that had happened. They haven't told the parent what happened, they seem to be trying to brush it under the carpet.

The problem I have is that the mother of the child involved is somebody I have become close to because we go to the same toddler group. I feel very strongly that she should know what happened.

Obviously friend 1 shouldn't have told me what she did and she could lose her job for sharing confidential information. But friend 2 really should know.

What do I do???

I would say that between those who actually witnessed the event, your friend finding out, your friend relaying it to you and you relaying it to us, there may have been some variations to the story.

So 10 minutes became an hour;
A TA discretely searching so as not to draw attention became "no one noticed";
The parents haven't been told might just mean your friend doesn't know that a low key telephone took place.

I don't think the other children would have failed to notice either. What happened at registration? What happened when they went to their seats and there was an empty one? Children don't have interior monologues "mm I wonder where X is? Perhaps he fell at playtime and is having a bump on his knee seen to. I'll wait an hour and see if he turns up..." They shout out "Miss, where's X?"

From Reception to Year 6.

I don't think anyone would embellish the details deliberately, but there is a whole children's game based on this very phenomena which means I NEVER trust the sort of information I get third or fourth hand...

The very most you/your friend could do is approach the school and say there's a rumour. It wouldn't even need to have come from your school based friend. Children are always more than willing to tell their parents about An Incident that happened at school. She might have heard from another parent who had heard from their child. Which would be no less reliable that this tbh.

That's what I would do...

I personally think it depends on how true the "hour" was., My DS started reception Sept and stayed in the playground one day, I was at the gate ready for pick up , I saw the class go in , he was out there 2 mins tops! by the time I got to the school the next day I had people asking me if he was ok , apparently he had been out there for an "hour" and was very distressed when he was found . I love the game Chinese whispers!, I also think that it is bad any member of staff discussing a child out of school , including giving their name ect , not very professional I would be more worried about that to be honest .

I think the most disturbing thing about this is that the school are covering it up! If that were my child I would want to know - I wouldn't be happy that it had happened but I would appreciate being told straight away and accept assurance that it would not happen again.
If I found out they had kept it from me I would be furious and make one hell of a fuss!!!

this is terrible. tell your friend you cannot live with this and if she does not tell parent, you will

Truth? I think I would tell my mate who worked at the school not to burden me with such dilemmas in future.

Ugh, it's so hard. I am also minded to think that nothing happened, they did realise there was a missing child, they did find him, and he was fine. He does not have physical or other SN, like hypoglycaemia, etc. But school should come clean, if only to ensure child does not hide in future. Somehow putting it to the child's mother as a weird rumour, maybe get another mutual friend to pass it on to her. And she can decide whether to chase it up.