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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think dh's friend is an ungrateful twat?

65 replies

fullofregrets · 15/01/2012 20:57

DH has a childhood best friend who I dislike quite a lot. He seems to be only out for what he can get and only contacts DH when he wants something. DH, however, thinks he's great and answers any criticism of his friend with 'that's just the way he is.'

When we got married twatface (as he shall be known) was DH best man. He did not bring so much as a card. He wad the only guest not to even send a card and he was best man.
When twatface had his first child he asked DH to be godfather. We bought his DD a necklace in the shape of a cross with a diamond in the middle. It was a nice gift imo and something she could keep from her godfather. DH also gave them a cheque for £100.
Obviously we got no thank-you from twatface and his gf. When we saw them about two months after the christening I asked if they'd liked the gift. Twatface said 'oh yes, is it real double glazed glass in the necklace?' I was like, no, it is a diamond. He then went on to ask how much it had cost and said they'd have preferred to have just had all money as they'd spent most of the £100 on takeaways. WTF?

AIBU to let this annoy me? DH doesn't seem to mind so I suppose it is up to him but it pisses me off. I don't drink and if we go out they always want lifts and I always feel like saying no. Trouble is if I don't take them home twatface just gets drunk and then drives home. His gf does bot drive. I have even known him to have about ten beers and drive with his gf and DD in the car. He's a twat isn't he?

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 15/01/2012 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FabbyChic · 15/01/2012 20:59

Let him drive home and whilst he is driving report him to the police, really its none of your business what they spent the money on, or if he drinks or drives.

YOu think too much about what this guy does and does not do. Get over it.

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 15/01/2012 20:59

Call the police just before he leaves so they catch him drink driving .... Twatface is an understatement.

DoMeDon · 15/01/2012 21:00

Until you mentioned the drink driving I was a YABU - you just don't like him. The double glazed glass comment made me laugh. BUT then you slipped in the no quibble 'he is a twat' drink driving factette and I'm convinced.

SecretMinceRinser · 15/01/2012 21:00

He is a twat. I wouldn't drive him home and I would tell him that if he gets in his car you will be passing his reg on to the police!
If your dh wants to knock about with him there's not much you can do but you don't have to have anything to do with him.

needanewname · 15/01/2012 21:01

Yes he's a twat. Just wondering, why don't you contact the police when you know he's drunk and driving?

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 15/01/2012 21:02

As above.

happydotcom · 15/01/2012 21:04

A major TWAT!

My ex was killed by a drunk driver . A real twatface for just for getting behind the wheel when over the limit is unbelievable irresponsible and stupid.

YANBU. Can your DH not see him how this twatface is really about?

Original poster
fullofregrets · 15/01/2012 21:04

I have considered it but who would I ring? Not 999? Would I just have to tell them his car reg and the route I thought he'd be taking home?
I do think DH would be livid with me, if twatface lost his licence he would lose his job and his gf is a sahm so they'd have no money. However, drink driving is extremely selfish. I did raise this with DH who admittedly does not agree with twatface'a drink driving and said he'd have a word. I do not believe this word made any difference however!

OP posts:
Boomerwang · 15/01/2012 21:06

I would not let him get in the car, my conscience would not allow me. If I couldn't stop him then I would definitely call the police. It's not just him that's at risk of anything up to death is it?

He does sound extremely selfish and I hope his partner wises up and puts a stop to it or get out of it.

Original poster
fullofregrets · 15/01/2012 21:07

DH said some rubbish along lines of 'twatface drinks a lot so he isn't as drunk as most people would be after that amount of alcohol.'
Which made me briefly consider DH a twatface also. I try and see twatface as little as possible because he does annoy me and goes on and on about how precious and wonderful his DD is. And I always want to say 'she can't be that precious to you, you're willing to risk her life by drink driving.'

OP posts:
cookcleanerchaufferetc · 15/01/2012 21:08

Er yes, 999 ..... If you called before he was going they may wait outside your house to see him get in car and start to drive.

needanewname · 15/01/2012 21:10

Sorry the fact that he might lose his job over he might kill someone would not stop me phoning the police.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 15/01/2012 21:19

Twat de luxe. In fact that calling him a twat is an insult to twats.

CamberwickGreen · 15/01/2012 21:20

Yes 999 our police force often ask people to do this on twitter

SecretMinceRinser · 15/01/2012 21:21

Your dh is a twat for defending him. Do you have kids? Would he defend him if one of them ended up under his friends car?

Original poster
fullofregrets · 15/01/2012 21:23

Really? I was always a bit scared of calling 999 and getting told it wasn't an emergency.
I wonder if they'd just pull him over and say they'd noticed he was driving strangely or if it would be totally obvious that I'd rung and reported him.

OP posts:
ISayHolmes · 15/01/2012 21:24

I bet your husband doesn't really believe that he's less drunk than most people. He just says that so he doesn't have to examine why he doesn't challenge a drunk man who drives around with his wife and child in the car, endangering the lives of everyone. It's a load of drivel and he's admitted that the guy is still drunk.

There's no such thing as being a bit drunk when it comes to driving. You're either over the limit or you aren't. People get killed by individuals who thought they were only "tipsy" all the time.

Original poster
fullofregrets · 15/01/2012 21:26

No, IsayHolmes I know he definitely would be over the limit. I'm talking nine or ten pints here. There is no way he'd not be over the limit.

OP posts:
diddl · 15/01/2012 21:26

Well, people who are out for what they can get-it only works when others keep giving, doesn´t it?

Why does he have such a hold over your husband?

Original poster
fullofregrets · 15/01/2012 21:28

I don't know diddl I have wondered that myself. DH defends him no matter what he does. I do not understand. He has other perfectly nice friends.

OP posts:
ISayHolmes · 15/01/2012 21:29

Sorry, I meant that I was angry at people who are drunk but kid themselves that they are okay to drive anyway and that they're not too far from being within the limit- I definitely believe you when you say he'd be drunk for sure.

diddl · 15/01/2012 21:31

Does your husband look up to him & try to impress him?

I don´t know-a necklace with a diamond plus 100GBP seems way OTT to me.

grograg · 15/01/2012 21:31

YABU if you don't report him next time you see him get into a car drunk.

HandMini · 15/01/2012 21:31

A fool. See him as little as possible. Don't prevent your DH from seeing him though...just suggest they do their drinks or whatever alone and don't let DH get a lift home with him!