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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think dh's friend is an ungrateful twat?

65 replies

fullofregrets · 15/01/2012 20:57

DH has a childhood best friend who I dislike quite a lot. He seems to be only out for what he can get and only contacts DH when he wants something. DH, however, thinks he's great and answers any criticism of his friend with 'that's just the way he is.'

When we got married twatface (as he shall be known) was DH best man. He did not bring so much as a card. He wad the only guest not to even send a card and he was best man.
When twatface had his first child he asked DH to be godfather. We bought his DD a necklace in the shape of a cross with a diamond in the middle. It was a nice gift imo and something she could keep from her godfather. DH also gave them a cheque for £100.
Obviously we got no thank-you from twatface and his gf. When we saw them about two months after the christening I asked if they'd liked the gift. Twatface said 'oh yes, is it real double glazed glass in the necklace?' I was like, no, it is a diamond. He then went on to ask how much it had cost and said they'd have preferred to have just had all money as they'd spent most of the £100 on takeaways. WTF?

AIBU to let this annoy me? DH doesn't seem to mind so I suppose it is up to him but it pisses me off. I don't drink and if we go out they always want lifts and I always feel like saying no. Trouble is if I don't take them home twatface just gets drunk and then drives home. His gf does bot drive. I have even known him to have about ten beers and drive with his gf and DD in the car. He's a twat isn't he?

OP posts:

KatieScarlett2833 · 15/01/2012 21:32

DH is twatface enabler

Ring Police before twatface kills someone.

maddening · 15/01/2012 21:32

you could find the local police number in the directory - I don't think it would be 999 that you would ring

SquashedSquirrel · 15/01/2012 21:36

Rather than debating it, I think you should simply call. You know he is massively over the limit and therefore I think you have a responsibility to report him. It doesn't matter whether you like him or not or whether he is 'bessie mates' with your DH, he's currently well over the limit and driving a car.

Rhinestone · 15/01/2012 21:36

Absolutely you should ring 999. It is an emergency if someone's life is in danger and if twatface is driving after 10 pints then I'd say someone's life is definitely in danger. Plus a crime - driving whilst drunk - is in progress.

StealthPolarBear · 15/01/2012 21:37

9 or 10 pints?

StealthPolarBear · 15/01/2012 21:39

I would say call the police but I have had a resounding telling off on another thread for that, so my judgement of what classes as crime is obviously skewed.
OK - call social services! His DD is seriously at risk of harm IMO

YellowDinosaur · 15/01/2012 21:40

Another vote for call the police next time. Ask them not to let on that you had called them. Your dh doesn't need to know either - in fact telling him would put him in an awkward situation with his friend.

YellowDinosaur · 15/01/2012 21:41

How would you feel if you know he drinks like this and drives and then he kills someone? Best case scenario is he kills himself. Worst case scenario he kills his dd and gf or an innocent bystander.

Do it. Next time he drinks and drives.

Original poster

fullofregrets · 15/01/2012 21:42

He does drink a lot, most people would be very drunk after that amount of alcohol but he barely seems tipsy. Not that he should drive of course but I know the amount he drinksprobably seems unbelievable when it would cause some people to be unable to walk! However I have witnessed it on several occasions and he can consume a lot of alcohol without appearing that drunk probably because he does drink so often.

OP posts:

starsintheireyes · 15/01/2012 21:42

You can send a txt- not sure if the number is nationwide-im in the south west and the drinkdrive reporting number is 81819 you just send as many details as poss eg reg num and they will follow it up immediately

Teaandcakeplease · 15/01/2012 21:42

Our police non emergency number is 101 but I would call 999 in this instance. YANBU.

I may be in the minority but that £100 was surely for their DD not takeaways Although it did seem OTT to me as well as the necklace. But you do not have control of how they spend that money so I wouldn't give them money next time stating the obvious

YellowDinosaur · 15/01/2012 21:43

Oh and all te stuff about him being ungrateful - yes he is for sure. but that pales into insigniificance compared with the news that he will happily drink 10 pints and then get in a car and drive his baby dd home

ISayHolmes · 15/01/2012 21:43

You could save his license plate number onto your phone and then when he's about to head off sneak into the bathroom or something and call from there, tell them the details and then let the police do the work.

SquashedSquirrel · 15/01/2012 21:47

So, you still haven't actually called the Police then?

Why write another Post about how much he drinks and not make the call to the Police??

pigletmania · 15/01/2012 21:47

YANBU at all, spending money meant for his dd on takeaways , and complaining about a lovely gift you bought her . What a total knobend. Not sending a card or gift for your wedding day, what a rude inconsiderate sorry excuse for a man he is. I would have said excuse me but that money is meant for your dd not to spend on yourself you selfish git.

pigletmania · 15/01/2012 21:49

omg and drink driving, what a total twat, I would report him to the police if you see that happening.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 15/01/2012 21:50

Does Twatface know something about your DH to keep him sweet?

And I think that if Twatface did crash while drunk after you refused him a lift, I think you would feel culpable. I know I would.

Original poster

fullofregrets · 15/01/2012 21:57

No squashedsquirrel because this hasn't happened tonight.
But next time I think I will have none emergency number to hand and make note of reg. I hope they can do it in a spot check kind of way though. Obviously most important thing is that he doesn't kill or hurt anyone but would prefer for him not to be aware it was me that phoned police. DH is from small village and his family and twatface's family are neighbours so it could cause a lot, and I mean A LOT, of ill feeling.

OP posts:

duckdodgers · 15/01/2012 22:00

I agree with everyone about the drink driving.

But Im a bit puzzled why you gave a present plus £100 - thats a lot of money!

SquashedSquirrel · 15/01/2012 22:00

Then forgive me, I thought you had started the Post because of an incident this evening. Apologies.

Shenanagins · 15/01/2012 23:38

I think the police would make it look like a random stop and search as to do otherwise could be potentially dangerous to the informer.

You could contact them at any point to explain your concerns and they can keep an eye out as he probably does this on occasions you are not there.

If you are worried about your dh reaction just don't mention it to him.

yellowraincoat · 15/01/2012 23:41

The drink driving thing is definitely not ok.

The other stuff, meh. I'm not much of a one for sending cards and gifts either.

Heswall · 15/01/2012 23:49

I would not let the twat over my threshold and DH wants to meet him at the pub or whatever then fine but you don't have to look at the twat. And he is a twat.

AnyFucker · 16/01/2012 00:15

I could care less about the rest of it, but for the drink driving ?

dob him in

the very next time you witness it

no more bystanding

how would you feel if he killed someone/his gf/his child/someone else's child ?

and tell your bf to move up from senior school, yeah ? Those days are gone....

Birdsgottafly · 16/01/2012 01:39

Why don't you just ask them how they intend to get home and if he says that he is going to drive, then don't let them drink at your house? It is all well and good phoning the police but he will have already set off, putting his child (and other people) in danger.

I don't see why you or your DH would condone this, the other stuff doesn't really matter, tbh. If you don't want to give them a lift, then talk this over with your DH.

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