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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be slightly aghast at invitation to a baby shower... for chum's second pregnancy??

66 replies

cheeseycharlie · 15/01/2012 20:55

Obvs I'll be going along and enjoying copious amounts of cake but all the same it strikes me as a bit of a sauce (as granny would have said). Bit much, no?

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 15/01/2012 20:56

Why whats wrong with it?

DoMeDon · 15/01/2012 20:57

YANBU - second DC are not as important as the first

WinterIsComing · 15/01/2012 20:58

YANBU for using the word,

TuesdayNightClub · 15/01/2012 21:00

I was thinking about this recently. I am firmly in the camp of loving Baby Showers (done in a non-grabby, very classy way) Wink I threw a baby shower for my SIL when she had her first, and she is now due her second in a few weeks. It struck me that perhaps I should have thrown one for her second. I mean, why wouldn't I? I am just as excited about the second birth, and it is equally a cause for celebration as the first. So in a nutshell, I think it's lovely to go to a baby shower for each baby (it doesn't have to be all about the presents, contrary to the opinion of some!)

Catonkey · 15/01/2012 21:00

Oh, all babies should be celebrated whether they be 1st, 2nd or 7th! Don't feel obliged to get anything extravagant, just go and make a fuss of the pregnant woman and eat yer cake :)

HoneyandHaycorns · 15/01/2012 21:01

I dislike baby showers for any child. Has always seemed a bit grabby to me, but if you're going to demand gifts, I guess you might as well do it for a second child as for a first.

Catonkey · 15/01/2012 21:05

My staple gift at any baby shower is a bottle of Badedas for the mum. Always very gratefully received

Gumby · 15/01/2012 21:06

A baby shower doesn't celebrate the baby!!

It spoils the mum

Then when the baby comes they get more presents

Tis just an americanism

AntsMarching · 15/01/2012 21:11

In America, where I'm from, a baby shower is meant to get the mother ready for her first baby, as it's assumed she won't already have baby equipment (Moses baskests, clothes, etc). A shower for a second baby is therefore unnecessary as she should already have those things.

It's really poor taste to have a shower for the second.

marblerye · 15/01/2012 21:12

I don't see it as a bit much. Its not like a baby is something you should only have one of so why only have one party? I like being invited to parties and I think most people don't have parties with the express intention of swindling their friends and relations out of undeserved gifts.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 15/01/2012 21:13

Yay, 5 points for a 'grabby'. Still waiting on 'entitled' but the thread is young...

diddl · 15/01/2012 21:14

Why would it be assumed that the mother doesn´t have stuff & it´s up to her friends to buy it all for her??!!

HandMini · 15/01/2012 21:25

I think baby showers are a bit cringe, but each to their own. If your take on a baby shower is that it's a nice get-together of a few friends before the mother goes AWOL for a bit to do baby stuff as opposed to a present-a-thon, then why not have one for second/third children...I guess it's just a celebration in that case.

mrsmaltesers · 15/01/2012 21:51

I think they are a bit nauseous tbh. I couldnt have thought of anything worse when i was pregnant. Its like super weekend away £500 hen weekends ..... All this celebrating stuff just gets out of hand. And i am tighter than two coats of paint.

Thankfully have only been to one which was in a penthouse in manhattan (those were the days!!) and that was enough. Moany old me.

mynewpassion · 15/01/2012 22:05

We had one for my sister's second. It wasn't big or anything and she didn't ask for gifts either. It was just a nice get together to celebrate her second pregnancy.

People brought her diapers only.

Nanny0gg · 15/01/2012 22:06

YANBU - second DC are not as important as the first

Really?

thenightsky · 15/01/2012 22:08

Catonkey I'm a Badedas fan too. Someone got me a bottle with DD (my first) in 1986. My stitched were healed in 4 days.

Amazing stuff.

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 15/01/2012 22:20

Wow 4 days I will have to bear that in mind for the next time, mine took a good two weeks even taking arnica.

moondog · 15/01/2012 22:23

Jesus.
I can't think of anything more naff, greedy and grasping-whatever the baby.

missslc · 15/01/2012 22:23

Yep....considered bad taste to have a second in the states.I imagine it inevitably puts pressure to get gifts......

Dolcegusto · 15/01/2012 22:25

A fb friend of mine is charging for admission to her baby shower Hmm
And has requested no gifts, just vouchers.

She's celebrating the wonder of motherhood apparently. Didn't realise it came with a price tag.

ComposHat · 15/01/2012 22:30

God, the whole idea of a baby shower seems so crass and materialistic: I wouldn't have the brass neck to arrange one for any offspring.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 15/01/2012 22:32

Dolcegusto: CHARGING for admission to a shower?! That's beyond cheeky, I hope no one turns up for it!

4madboys · 15/01/2012 22:42

charging for a baby shower?! is she having a laugh?!

my sister had a baby shower, only baby turned up 3 wks early so he was the guest of honour! and it wasnt about presents etc it was just a get together of her and her close friends and me! and cake and a bit of alcohol, it was a chance to chat and have a laugh, which we still did as well as toasting the arrival of the healthy baby and a toast to one of the friends who had just got engaged. just a chance/excuse for a group of close friends to all get together at the same time :)

thenightsky · 15/01/2012 22:54

Charging???? WTAF???