To wonder why my milk wasnt accepted?

[WhiteTrash]

To start, this does not bother me. I am simple wondering why?

I made a ridiculous amount of milk in the early days so pumped and froze it. I cant use it now as DC is now allergic to what I was eating at the time of pumping (dairy, he wasnt allergic before). I cant donate to prem babies (apparently, Ive had different info but my local place says no) because some is too old to use now and the rest was too recent i.e my milk was made for a 5 month old which was too heavy for new born/prem baby stomachs. Makes sense!

Anyway 25 bags of the stuff are in the freezer, Ive been meaning to chuck it out. Its all fine, but no use to us.

My friend who has a nearly 3 month old bf baby is in hospital shes very ill and her milk supply has dwindled to nothing. I offered her mine until she got better and her supply increased as she didnt want to use formula unless it was a must.

But I got a no thanks but no reason.

Why? I wasnt offering to nurse the baby just offer my milk. I didnt ask her why as I didnt want to make her feel uncomfortable.

Last note, my friend is lovely this is by no means a judgement on her or her decision.

It was a lovely thing to offer.

Some people feel a bit unsure about it though - cultural issues I guess? Or emotional for your pal, as she is ill?

because she doesn't want to feed her baby someone else's milk. That surely is enough of an explaination?

It's a bodily fluid. I can understand feeling uneasy about introducing someone elses unscreened bodily fluid into my childs body.

I think it's a lovely and generous offer, but in your friend's position I also wouldn't feel entirely comfortable about it. I don't know why - it's not a logical, but an emotional reaction. It's good that you didn't ask why, and accepted the response in the same spirit that you offered. I can see it would be galling to throw all that milk away, though!

Hmm I've been in similar position. My dd was prem and I didn't make much milk and several of my friends offered me theirs but I declined. I can't even think why I declined possibly because I was emotional at not being able to supply enough for my own baby possibly other reasons.

I wouldn't give my baby donated milk. It's a lovely offer on your part but it wouldn't sit right with me that it wasn't screened for anything that can be transmitted through breast milk. I would allow my baby to have a blood transfusion etc as these tend to be life saving interventions. Theirs no doubt breast is better than formula, but there are some very good formulas for infants these days.

Maybe to her it just feels a bit weird?

From a pragmatic point of view it's an incredibly kind offer. But without really being able to explain why if I were in her situation I might feel funny about it too. As though feeding your baby with breastmilk from your friend is too intimate, or something. I'm not justifying this, or being judgy either way, but that'd be my best guess.

Yes you're right it wasnt screened. And your right its a bodily fluid and putting it like that makes it sound rank. Except, this isnt wee, spit of mucus. Its milk.

And yes Im loathed to throw it away! Thats the only reason its still in there.

She doesn't have the facilities to screen your BM. Whilst it's a very kind offer, I would have also declined.

www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/disease/index.htm

How would she screen it? I assume hospitals check the milk donated, and I'd imagine she would want similar controls?

Oh, cross post.

My sister used hers as a cooking ingredient for her toddler. Breast milk in curry was an eyebrow raiser

Ha cross with toddlerama

I wonder if there has ever been a study into what happens to the good stuff in BM when it is made into cheese sauce....

I hadnt even considered the screening issue. Seems stupidly obvious now!

I would not feed my newborn some breastmilk that had been laying in a freezer for yonks, the screening issue aside! I also would have no idea who hygienic you were when handling your milk and your brestpump, and how it was stored.

Are tou sure the milk vabj won't take it? I only ask as I'm about to start donating and my baby is 5 months. They said they dont have an 'age limit'. That's Oxford milk bank by the way if that helps

Sorry milk bank that should be.

Its not yonks some is just 2 months old. Id have given that.

And no, they wouldnt tske it. I even called a different day spoke to someone else and the answer was the same.

I think you are being quite endearingly naive - it's actually a really nice thing to offer, you clearly only want to help and it's sweet that you don't see what everyone else is saying but yes..... I'm afraid YABVU. I would say no way jose in a heartbeat. For all the reasons listed above and plenty more besides.

Just chuck it. It's not liquid gold you've got in there, it's just milk. Bin it and move on.

I'd agree with everyone else: It was a lovely thing to offer.

However, if you'd offered it to me I'd have refused just on the basis of possibility of infection. If baby did come down with something she'd be worrying "if I hadn't given that milk..."

Btw when I expressed I did think of it as liquid gold. 10 minutes pumping for not much milk.

she could be afraid of her DC catching something via your milk. It's a body fluid.

I would also be concerned that the milk hadn't been stored properly, for instance if your freezer varied in temp and the milk had defrosted and refrozen without you knowing about it. It's a lovely offer, but I wouldn't have accepted it either, no reflection on you though.

Chuck it my way and ill make it into some ice cream and sell it for loads.

Donated milk is pasteurised

Search Facebook for 'human milk for human babies' they are a milk sharing network. There is probably someone on there looking for milk in your area!