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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why my milk wasnt accepted?

64 replies

WhiteTrash · 13/01/2012 13:21

To start, this does not bother me. I am simple wondering why?

I made a ridiculous amount of milk in the early days so pumped and froze it. I cant use it now as DC is now allergic to what I was eating at the time of pumping (dairy, he wasnt allergic before). I cant donate to prem babies (apparently, Ive had different info but my local place says no) because some is too old to use now and the rest was too recent i.e my milk was made for a 5 month old which was too heavy for new born/prem baby stomachs. Makes sense!

Anyway 25 bags of the stuff are in the freezer, Ive been meaning to chuck it out. Its all fine, but no use to us.

My friend who has a nearly 3 month old bf baby is in hospital shes very ill and her milk supply has dwindled to nothing. I offered her mine until she got better and her supply increased as she didnt want to use formula unless it was a must.

But I got a no thanks but no reason.

Why? I wasnt offering to nurse the baby just offer my milk. I didnt ask her why as I didnt want to make her feel uncomfortable.

Last note, my friend is lovely this is by no means a judgement on her or her decision.

OP posts:

HappyJoyful · 13/01/2012 14:29

I offered a friend some in similar circumstances to you and she said thanks but no thanks too.. reading the posts guess I was naive really, but am sure like my friend, yours would have been touched by the gesture too. I agree it felt like liquid gold at the time too. I used some of mine up on DD's cereal..

valiumredhead · 13/01/2012 14:30

Yes buggy has a good suggestion but be prepared for your milk not to actually end up being given to babies!

Original poster

WhiteTrash · 13/01/2012 14:31

I actually Googled people buying breastmilk to do with what they wish (?) but I couldnt find owt.

I feel I have to make an admission, I have two best friemds with babies the same age as mine give or take a few weeks and I put myself in her position and wondered how Id react to them offering me theirs. My initial thought was no! But only for a second, Im not even sure why. I couldnt rationalise it, its not the screening issue as that hadnt crossed my mind at that point.

But the more I think about it, the more Im ok with the idea and wonder why my initial reaction was a no?

So Id say yes. Despite there being no screening. I mean, they had their pregnancy blood test I know they dont have major illness like HIV.

Perhaps IBU thinking that Id accept it. But I would.

OP posts:

redyam · 13/01/2012 14:33

Cheese, milkshake, cream, ice cream? The possibilities are endless.

TheOddsAreEven · 13/01/2012 14:43

Formula is made from a cows bodily fluid how is that any better than accepting some milk from a friend. OP make some ice cream with it. You'll make a fortune.

Original poster

WhiteTrash · 13/01/2012 14:45

I think that would go against the rules, defrosting and refreezing it?

I have human milk for human babies on faceboom. Nothing so far.

OP posts:

TaurielTest · 13/01/2012 14:48

It was a kind offer. Has anyone suggested you offer it via human milk for human babies UK (look on facebook for a link)? People there regularly offer freezer stash.

TaurielTest · 13/01/2012 14:50

Ah, I see (on reading p2) that indeed they have. As you were .

entropyglitter · 13/01/2012 17:12

I agree with whoever said its odd to prefer anonymous cow boob milk over anonymous human boob milk.

You can flash sterilize milk to make cootie free.

Which leaves the possibility that you are disease ridden....although not enough that you were advised not to BF your own baby....so maybe its a good enough for your baby but not for mine thing....

Or as everyone else says it just cultural baggage making people all squiffy about breast milk.

KittyFane · 13/01/2012 18:09

cook with it

ShatnersBassoon · 13/01/2012 18:23

I don't think it's odd to refuse milk that's of uncertain quality, that's been stored for an uncertain period of time in a domestic freezer of uncertain quality. It's the lack of certainties that would put me off accepting your generous offer.

banana87 · 13/01/2012 18:29

OP I'd use it in cooking!! No point wasting it!

motherofsnortpigs · 13/01/2012 18:42

At a friend's request I gave her some bm for her newborn just in case. When she was admitted to hospital for slow weight gain she was 'not allowed' to give the baby my milk and formula was given instead. (She wishes she'd lied and said it was hers). I've donated to the Oxford milk bank as well. So, OP, your milk would probably be intercepted at the hospital anyway. (My friend used my milk when she got home)

Lueji · 13/01/2012 18:53

Definitely use it for your own cooking. If it's good enough for your baby it's good enough for you.

Besides, are you sure your DC is allergic to your milk?

Original poster

WhiteTrash · 13/01/2012 19:04

No my DC isnt allergic to my milk, hes still breastfeeding now. Hes allergic to the allergens in it. He developed, quite suddenly, a severe allergy tp certain foods each time I ate those foods he would have a reaction. So all the milk that was in the freezer before that is full of allergens. Although I now have a small stock of allergy free milk in case of emergancies though.

Allergens is also the reason Im not sure Id cook with it. The allergy free stuff I could though, and I hadnt considered that!

OP posts:

bobbledunk · 14/01/2012 01:00

There's no guarantee that the milk has been stored appropriately, if your diet was bad it could be nutritionally inadequate, if you had been smoking, drinking, taking drugs that could be in the milk and if you were infected with hiv, hepatitis or any other infection, her baby would be exposed to that.

I wouldn't take the risk.

kittensmakemesqueee · 14/01/2012 03:49

Bm is is liquid gold for some people! It was very nice of you to offer but equally for any number of reasons your friend has every right to decline. In her circumstance though (which I was) I'd have been begging you for it!

Original poster

WhiteTrash · 14/01/2012 08:19

FWIW my diet was really good, no alcohol, no caffiene (not even in tea!) no smoking, very boring indeed!

OP posts:

GlueSticksEverywhere · 14/01/2012 08:41

I wouldn't accept it either.

GlueSticksEverywhere · 14/01/2012 08:45

Oh I should probably give a reason . . . I would be concerned about diseases even with screening.

I would be concerned that there may be diseases contractable through breast milk that we are not aware of yet. Just like how we didn't know about HIV or how you caught it for so many years and all those people got it through blood transfusions. There are always new diseases or exsisting one's mutating, so I think it is niave and rather arogant to think that we know all there is to know right now about the risks.

I was also wondering about CJD.

It's just not worth the risk to me.

MissMap · 14/01/2012 17:56

22 years ago when I had my first child the hospital asked me to donate milk, Do they still do this?

dandelionss · 14/01/2012 19:17

EEEOOOWWW!
Chuck it!!

TruthSweet · 14/01/2012 19:37

I've had milk from 2 friends, once when I was ill in hospital and once was because her baby wouldn't take EBM and mine would. Both times babies were of a very similar age and I was very grateful to have donated milk as I am rubbish at pumping.

I'm sure you can find someone who requires donor EBM or if you have a deep freeze (one that isn't accessed regularly and in under -18C) you can keep it for up to 12m.

HM4MB link

MainlyMaynie · 14/01/2012 19:56

I've chucked out loads of milk without even thinking about doing anything with it . I have oversupply, DS won't take a bottle and I've had to express for blocked ducts in the past. It didn't occur to me anyone would want it, as I don't think I'd have accepted someone else's.

Sonotwonderwoman · 14/01/2012 20:17

GlueSticksEverywhere: I was planning on donating my milk with DS2 and had an excess with DS1. However after a blood tranfusion I was told they could no longer take my milk because of the transfusion and risk of CJD.
What I don't understand is how I am more at risk of having CJD after having a transfusion than anyone else in the population? This also means I can't give blood. I just don't get the logic?
OP I would have accepted it gratefully. Have you tried a different milk bank?
www.ukamb.org/donor.html

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