to think that the school is taking the PISS?

[SwedishKaz]

Sorry for the language in my subject.
My son is in Reception, and we've been given a letter last Friday to say that they're starting "Reading Friday", inviting parents in EVERY Friday for the first 15 minutes to share a book with your child. The whole thing sounded very jolly, and about enjoying books.
I'm all for enjoying books, and I've read to my son since he was born! He loves books.
HOWEVER, I am a working mum. My husband works. I have the privilege to be able to drop my son, and then I rush to work to get there on time.
I don't have 15 minutes every Friday to stay in school!

On Monday we received a REMINDER (in bold letters) about how we must attend the session each Friday. Oh, we could let the teacher know if we can't and she will link our child up with another parent. Great. My son is 4!!! The fact that other parents are there and not his is going to upset him.
I tried to tell him about it yesterday, in a very positive manner and explain that I wouldn't be able to be there but that he could read with his friends' and their mum or dad. He started crying.

Please tell me I am not being unreasonable?

Do they not think parents do not do this at home anyway? If they are trying to encourage parents who do not read to their kids at home it is unlikely to work.

Terrible idea - very unfair on working parents. Our school ensured that a teacher or TA heard every child read at least 3 times a week when DD was in reception. As parents we were asked to help with reading every evening and to read their school library books (one per week) until they were old enough to read for themselves.

We still read at home with DD every night - going to do it at school is not an option. How unbelievably crowded must the class room be at that time and so disruptive when you're asking children to say goodbye to parents and settle them down with their day team.

You definitely won't be the only one who can't attend.

I don't think it's a terrible idea as the kids absolutely loved seeing new faces in the class and would all clamber to pick a book for the parents to read.

But I do think the OP's school shouldn't be making it sound compulsory.

Sadly, the idea of being read to by a parent is completely alien to many children, so perhaps the idea is to get them to badger ask their parents to read more to them/with them at home.

YANBU to feel sad about it and upset that your DS is.

YABU to think they shouldn't do it if the majority of pupils have 1 SAHP and the system works.

I am a LP, working and often always miss DS things like this. Recently we had a letter on the Friday to say we could go in on the Tuesday afternoon and see they're work. I work in a school and can't get time off just like that. DS (7) still gets a little despondant but they do need to learn sometimes that life is like that. It's been a positive way for me to teach DS about jobs, money, responsibility and commitment.

I'd be having a quiet diplomatic word pointing out that there are such things as households where both parents work these days and that therefore the word 'Must' is completely inappropriate to use - the school has no right to guilt-trip parents in this way.

DD2's current school has an open morning on a Friday, but it is very much voluntary - I have never been, I work full time with a long commute each day. I've made it clear from the off to both my children that having working parents means we will be unavailable for this kind of thing most of the time. I've always got time off for nativities and fortunately the school does an evening session of parents' evenings, but schools have to live in the real world, like the rest of us.

Well I'm a teacher so I would never be able to make this at my DD's primary ifit happened here.

However I say, sod writing to the Head. Get a group of you mums together and write to the Chair of the Governess CC'ing in the Head and enclosing a copy of the original letter.

It is unacceptable to use language like 'compulsory' when presumably the head actually wants to build an equitable relationship with the parents?

Our infants has a squad of ladies all retired who go into school one morning to listen to reading. It's got a waiting list of ladies wanting to go - they do the reading then go for a pub lunch. Apparently it's the thing to do once retired in our village.

I love this idea, lots of older ladies who love children, match them with some children who like the attention. Everyone's a winner!!

My son is in reception and his school does this on a Monday. It's also an opportunity for children to change the reading book they take home. DP and I both work, hence DS has had the same book for 5 weeks.

We had a parents class every second Friday at our school for reception children. It was heartbreaking seeing their little faces anxiously searching for their parent and them not being there. Every time, though most parents did try to attend most sessions, there would be a teaching assistant trying to comfort a four year old crying because mummy wasn't there. You can't explain to them that you work, or have younger children, or need to get the bus or they have to go to after-school club or the 100 other reasons you can't change the pick up arrangements to half an hour earlier.

I am not convinced of the learning benefits of these sessions, but I am convinced that they upset a minority of children every week. I don't believe them to be valuable in the slightest, it's much better to have parents come in when and if they can through the week without building up the hopes of a whole class that it's reasonable for their parents to attend at 2 o clock on a Friday.

You really would think that teachers who are supposed to understand how little children feel about little things that are unimportant to grown ups might feel wouldn't you. Over the years I have seen a lack of common sense and empathy far too often from the teaching profession. Oddly enough it's the principal reason why I have so little respect for the profession.

KS1 does this at our school, but it's not compulsory, just if you are able. There are quite a number of children whose parents can't come, but other mums will listen to them, or the school's 'reading buddies' from year 6, or the teacher and TA.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about not being able to go. Most children understand , if their parents work.

It's great for the kids to get better adult ratios to help with their reading so YABVU

It is a shame your work commitments prohibit you from joining in with this but no reason for others to miss out. Could you not arrange to attend once a term? Or ask to accompany on the next school trip instead and arrange a day off?

Its utterly patronising. Why not just reiterate how important bedtime reading is. Why cant teachers do their job? Leave parents to do theirs. On the other hand could you have a word with your work? 15 mins isnt that much of a big deal, will mean the world to your DC. Getting the balance right?

They did this every Friday at my ds1's primary school, fifteen years ago. Of course not everyone could attend and those that could would usually read to three or four children.
We were also allowed to take younger siblings in.
There was never any pressure for working parents to attend but the school did strongly encourage non working parents. The school was in a poor inner London borough and I'm sure the teachers knew some of the children had never been read to by a parent.

for My dh to take the 15 minutes out would mean 3 hours later in at work. We live in a commuter area. Dh usually goes on the 7 08 train but a few times If I have had something on He takes the 9.08 but if he was to remain for 15 further minutes it would be the 10 .08 train.

I have been a stay at home mother or a part time mother through out my childrens schooling. I wouldnt have been able to deal with this with dd1 2 and ds I had younger children at home by the time dd3 was in school I had work on a Friday and frankly I wouldnt wish to sit in the school for 15 minutes to read with her. We snuggle up together on her sofa or my bed and read together.

I attend other things in the school but oh it does annoy me to be told because I am/was a SAHM then I can clearly make the school stuff. Well no I cant always I make other plans I dont always stay at home.

So what if I said that I thought it was taking the piss not to do reading Friday because some parents can't make it?

OP, the idea of increased parental involvement is excellent, and such things have to happen SOME time, so someone's always going to be put out. A recent thread has been the source of much castigation of teachers for keeping parents out.

Hmmm.

However the tone of the communication is out of order. Get in touch with the HT, and copy the letter to her/him.

marriedinwhite, for some time I've thought you had a default setting of contempt for teachers, but interesting to see you've finally popped out and said so.

I'm getting just a little fed up with filling our kids heads with the message that working is a bad thing.

How many times have you had to say 'sorry, dear, I've got to work', which is then parroted back or on, as if it's a negative thing that happens to you. It should be normal to work (or care etc), but we so often mention work as something that gets in the way, and no explanation why others don't have this barrier.

If someone is lucky enough to have free time at the right times, then I'm very grateful if they help out. But surely most of us should be doing useful things during the day, and making this normal and desirable to our children.

YANBU it always astounded me how working parent unfriendly Ds' primary school could be. In fact it astounded me just how unfriendly it could be!

I think most schools are more working parent friendly than ever before what with breakfast clubs and after school clubs etc.

Most schools will also hold a second Nativity play out of school hours too and other concerts events.

The fact they also welcome parents to the school in the day, doesn't mean it's working parent unfriendly.

They can't be everything to everyone....that's just impossible.

Echt it's been really interesting how much more helpful and polite they are in the independent sector and they still have big classes too but they can spell, say please and thank you and are generally far sounder role models for the dc. They don't wear flip flops to work either.

There's no way they said you MUST come! Op's having us on.

Funny, they're just like that in my state school, too, marriedinwhite. And in every one I've ever worked in.

Though don't get me started about spaghetti straps.

Certainly no breakfast/afterschool clubs here. They sent home forms a while ago, asking what provision was needed. Literally everyone I know filled it in saying that we needed some local childcare, the school came back saying due to lack of demand they wouldn't be doing any.

Even afterschool clubs are inconvenient. If your child is doing a club, they have to be supervised in between 3.15 and 3.20 by a parent. The school won't take responsibilty for that 5 mins. No wonder hardly anyone does them. Most parents don't want to come for 5 mins and then come back 45 mins later. A lot of people walk from the large poor estate in the next village (no cars or buses), if they have to come for 5 mins, they then have to stay till the end of the club anyway.