Bitchin online - again!

[scuzy]

so some may remember that i outed SIL to family as she was saying some horrible lies about us all online. I was wrong for doing that and should have spoke to her at the time. Since then we have talked and are doing fine. she apoligised as did I. however I have come across her again on the same forum (alot more incognito this time) doing the same thing again. I was not looking for her but searched a forum on a similar topic that she is passionate about and from reading i thought it was her. I did look at all her posts and it is her and couldnt believe she was saying the same things again.

anyways i havent told dp or anyone. should i just ignore it at this stage? carry on like i havent seen them?

genuine advice needed.

yep got it in one Soupdragon. I was wrong first time around and should have spoke directly to her and her only. i thought that was it done and dusted. anyways I am just going to forget about it this time.

Vivi I don't believe op didn't
Look for SIL. I think she looked up that topic knowing SIL was likely to post in it
And look for her

The SIL changed all details. Ages, genders
Of kids, relationships. OP needs to get a bloody life

Her SIL may have no one to vent to irl and now op is constantly on her case online it's bang out of order and pathetic

Currently you are in a good position because you know she is doing it and you know where but she doesn't realise this. There is no need for anything else.

"Seriously, did it ever occur to you that it might not be healthy for you to have an internet connection."

This applies to about 95% of Mumsnet.

Leave it. You should have left it last time and I can't believe you went looking for her again.

Why were you searching something you know she is passionate about? Did you really need to or were you just looking for/hoping to find her?

And even if you needed to search that subject, why did you then go on to read all 'her' other posts (if it is her) knowing all the trouble that went on last time?

If this is her then it sounds like neither of you have learned your lessons from before.

You can't control what she does but you should be able to control yourself. Stop looking for her and spying on her and getting yourself (and the rest of us) all worked up when you find something you don't like.

Leave the poor woman alone.

If people didn't bitch about their families online, MN would be like a ghost town

Seriously, let it go.

It's probably her only outlet.

Kayano I am a regular on this website and have every right to post and read on there. i have online friends on there. i stumbled across her and when i thought it MIGHT be her yes i did read back through the posts and had it confirmed. anyways i know I have no hope of any understanding as I am an online stalker who spends all my time online ( depsite working fulltime with a family and home to run).

thanks Worra and NoOnes ... i agree and just let it be. thanks.

Why read all her past posts though? I'm not saying you shouldn't use the website but you didn't NEED to go digging further...

She did change all the details too but
You are still pissing and moaning. It is probably her only outlet and you are all up in her online face.

Are you still saving and archiving all her posts as evidence btw? Urgh.

bitchin is one thing - out and out slanderous lies is another. anyways i am not getting into it. of course people rant and bitch online - arent i doing it now? however I am not making anything up. thats the difference.

Does it even matter? Isn't her audience strangers on the net who have no idea who you are?

How is it slander if she is posting anonymously on a forum with all the details changed?!

How?!

"Why read all her past posts though"

To confirm her suspicions about who the poster was. Did you not read that part? Have you never done that when you've had doubts or suspicions about a MN poster?

i don't really care whether you specifically looked for her or not, but if she's still telling horrible lies about you, I don't think that's on. I would be really pissed off.

Without knowing the details of what she is saying, it's hard to say whether you should leave it or not. Ultimately if it's not affecting you in real life, and nobody knows who you are, does it really matter?

Can you PM her, tell her you have found her again, and you would prefer to talk this through?

But you didn't stumble across her, you searched for a topic that she is interested in, found a likely suspect, went through all her old posts for proof that it was her, decided from what you found that it must be her and posted on here asking what you should do about the things she is saying.

The overwhelming advice last time was (IIRC) that you should just leave it be and you were wrong to have outted her to all your family.

That's the same advice this time. Post on your forum all you like, but stop seeking her out, reading everything she writes and taking offence at the bits you don't like. And especially don't tell tales to the rest of the family.

You'll both be all the happier if you stop seeking out her posts, or block her on that forum so you can't see them anymore.

no Kayano I'm not. i deleted everything before as after the last thread I posted here I was embarrassed.

So you know she doesn't like you.
Why does it bother you? She clearly needs to vent somewhere and since she's not supplying your and your family's names, addresses and phone numbers I think it has a diddly squat with you. Would you like her reading what you wrote about her here and asking you to stop? I guess not as it's the second time you came on here to moan about her. Glass houses and all...

X-posted. Glad you are just going to leave it as it stands. You will feel better for it because if she is a liar she will out herself sooner or later anyway and you won't get any blame for it.

Bloody hell, late for work!

No soupdragon I have
Not but I've had someone throw something I said on a totally unrelated subject from months before thrown in my face after they looked through past posts to discredit me and they ended up looking like a crazy fool.

hurtful lies more on the line of me causing my own miscarriage, MIL from hell who is the best in the world, about how she treats her kids when she's minding them (slapping etc) which i know she doesnt EVER! financial matters and implying social welfare fraud. that my dp is an alco (doesnt drink only once in a blue moon) and that her own mother never visits. I am next door - she babysits eevry second weekend!!! there are only some.

Umm, aren't you bitching about her on an online forum?

anyways i'm done. i am only winding myself up and getting upset. leave her to it. she obviously needs the attention. will leave that forum because i do end up looking at her posts. would like to say i'll post more here but dont think i'd be too welcome.