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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask posters who are not in the UK

124 replies

Tee2072 · 10/01/2012 22:04

To say so in their OP?

At least 3 threads I've read today posters have been given excellent advice and then come back to say '"Oh I'm not in the UK. It's different here."

FFS.

OP posts:
Canella · 11/01/2012 16:12

runs away!! Wink

PaulInHolland · 11/01/2012 16:23

Well,

If you read my nickname when I post,then you can see that I am

a) in Holland

b) a dad

So in my case it is not as necessary to repeat this info in the post itself,although I might do this more after having read this thread.

Original poster
Tee2072 · 11/01/2012 16:29

Thank you PocPoc. I think people think they are being clever and witty. They are wrong.

OP posts:
coffeeinbed · 11/01/2012 16:35

Ok, it can be annoying, but it does not matter all that much, the way I see it.

Threads are often used as help by people in similar situation, who for whateher reason don't want to post themselves, so the advice is still useful.

Bucharest · 11/01/2012 16:36

....and some of us might think that being asked to reveal our location on what is upposedly an anonymous site a little bossypantsyand intrusive......

obviously were some poor MNer in furrin parts disingenuous enough to ask for help regarding a totally mono-cultural experience/non-UK related then fair enough, let's make her feel even more isolated than she probably already does by telling her to bog off.

But actually,odd though it may seem,most of us abroad do actually have the nous to know that, for example, if I want to ask a question about the Italian school system, I'm not going to post in primary education, I'm going to post in Little Italy.

It's not the basic premise of your request that irritates Tee, it's your bossy attitude about it. When did they make you Queen of MN?

Original poster
Tee2072 · 11/01/2012 16:38

I am not asking you to say where you are. I am asking you to say 'I'm not in the UK.'

Try reading the thread.

Queen of MN? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

You're funny.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tee2072 · 11/01/2012 16:42

Also? Did you actually read the OP. Where it says:

"AIBU to ask posters who are not in the UK to say so."

See that word, "ask"? How is that being bossy? If I am "asking"?

Perhaps because I forgot to say please?

OP posts:
FunnysInTheGarden · 11/01/2012 16:47

YABU, perhaps folk who are in the UK could say so in their OP too as then I will know not to give advice relevant to my neck of the woods.

I am not prefacing every one of my posts with 'I am not in the UK' but equally if I am asking for advice to which it is relevant then I would of course mention it.

coffeeinbed · 11/01/2012 16:48

So what happens if I'm on holiday in forrin places and am in need of advice MNfix
Would there be an amnesty for that or would I have to name change to CoffeeinFrenchbed?
Hmm

Original poster
Tee2072 · 11/01/2012 16:52

Oh FFS. Y'all just like to be obtuse for the sake of being obtuse.

What a load of crap.

Do it. Don't do it. Fine. But don't be all surprised when all the advice you get is based on the fucking UK. Which is where 99.999999999%* of the posters live.

*90% of all stats on the web are made up.

OP posts:
FunnysInTheGarden · 11/01/2012 16:55

yep, thats me, obtuse but only because you are getting ranty.............

Original poster
Tee2072 · 11/01/2012 16:58

Chicken. Egg. Am I getting ranty because you are getting obtuse or are you getting obtuse because I am being ranty?

In any case, I'm done. Talk amongst yourselves.

Man do I love the hide button.

OP posts:
coffeeinbed · 11/01/2012 17:01

You can't start a AIBU and then hide the thread!!
Tsk Tsk.
I do like the idea of being CoffeeinFrenchbed though...

SaraBellumHertz · 11/01/2012 17:02

See I don't ever find the need to hide threads,

Wonder why that might be...

I don't think a forrin OP has ever complained that their advice was uk centric.

Just sayin

QuintessentiallyShallow · 11/01/2012 17:08

Tee, I am right with you!

What good is a UK perspective when you live overseas? I dont get why one would be useful when you KNOW that something is different.

For example. Walking to school. I know kids in the uk dont walk to school alone, but they do in Norway. I would therefore not post a thread "Aibu to let my 6 year old walk one mile to school on his own crossing two major junctions?" Imagine the responses! There WOULD be venom against me. Or "Aibu to let my newborn sleep in his buggy outside the shop although it is subzero temperatures? I so fancy kitting myself out in Benetton without baby". One must show some sense.

I have lost count of the times I would post about stuff (when I lived in Norway) and posters picked up on something totally different, which was normal in Norway, and ended up not really addressing my query. For example on the occasion where my son were going home to another boy in his class after school, and his parents were not home, and the boys were eating youghurt and chocolate for tea, because his parents had taken his sister and the baby to grandma for dinner, and my son could not leave because the boy was not allowed to stay home. That was a strange thread.... Confused

OhFraktiousTree · 11/01/2012 17:09

90% of advice that nonUK posters want is non country specific. It's getting opinions on people, relationships, situations often from people who think the same way. I have occasionally very apologetically said that the advice won't work as the system isn't the same but it does on some level help confirm that perhaps IANBU and I can follow the same course of action locally if possible.

coffeinfrenchbed sounds somehow sexy and exciting.... I like it

ragged · 11/01/2012 17:11

yanbu, but just to throw a cat among pigeons, should Scotland, NI & Wales posters do the same? Coz the also have differences.

QuintessentiallyShallow · 11/01/2012 17:12

I dont think we should have to say where we are, though, unless it is somehow relevant to the thread.

Although it may not always be obvious from the very beginning.

coffeeinbed · 11/01/2012 17:14

I know..
I'm changing my mind, I quite fancy having to post that.

Tenebrist · 11/01/2012 17:38

I say it all the bloody time - I'm not in the UK ad nauseum. I'd be quite happy with some sort of marker or smiley next to my name to save that extra typing. Most of the time it's not relevant. I always mention it when it is. The only time I ever forgot to mention it where it turned out to be relevant was when I was asking for DVD recommendations and someone suggested a film on TV which I couldn't access. I apologised for not having put it in the OP and the rather sweet poster then apologised herself, even though she couldn't possibly have known. All very unproblematic, ultimately. I don't think anybody got TOO annoyed.

There are several issues I'd quite like some advice about (schools etc) but have decided not to start a thread, because they concern things that are just too different from the British experience - it would be a frustrating experience for everyone to have me keep on saying 'ah that wouldn't work because...'. On the other hand I've started a number of threads precisely because I want a British perspective, or to get information that I don't know as an expat. Do credit us non-UK residents with a bit of common sense, please.

LinzerTorte · 11/01/2012 18:25

Another thing is that you don't always know when it's relevant. I was complaining about having to go out and do the food shopping. Another poster suggested that I do my shopping online. I had to point out that the miracle of online grocery shopping hasn't yet reached Austria.

Not a huge problem - she was very apologetic, while I felt silly about having to say (yet again) "Well, actually I'm not in the UK" (this was on a long-running thread where most of the other posters know me).

But the idea of a "not in the UK" smiley (use optional) is starting to seem more and more attractive. Grin

OneHandWavingFree · 11/01/2012 21:57

Surely most MNers know that not everyone who posts on the site is in the UK, right? I mean, it's not a little local paper, it's a big site on the world wide web (I realise I'm repeating myself, but come on...). It's only a click of a button away for people in Melbourne, same as it is for people in Leeds.

If you think that someone's location might be relevant to the issue they're posting about, how about asking the question, rather than assuming they must be in the UK unless they declare themselves?

The tone of the OP is really obnoxious - it doesn't really come across as "just asking" when you follow it up with "FFS".

echt · 11/01/2012 22:10

OP is BU.

There might be aspects of the advice given by Johnny Foreigner which are relevant, and the non-UK info is a polite disclaimer.

BaronessBomburst · 11/01/2012 22:23

I like the idea of the bell best. I'm forever saying where I am, and what's different, and people must think I'm soooooo boring and repetitive which I probably am.

PaulinHolland are you actually in Holland, or the Netherlands?

Thumbwitch · 12/01/2012 00:38

classic AIBU. Some people say that the OP is being U, some people fail to read the OP exactly as intended, OP flounces. Dontcha just love AIBU! Grin

Although actually I don't need to advertise that I am abroad to find this amusing Grin