to only spend £3 on the birthday boy?

[dimplebum]

Ds was invited to yet another birthday party from one of his classmates. We really havent got the money to be splashing out so I took advantage of the offers at the book people and bought him 2 well known hardback books that were £3.

Today the mum was thanking everyone for their presents, child and parent, but totally missed us. Im hoping that I am just being paranoid and that this was a genuine error, but I cant help thinking that she was disappointed by how much we spent as I know from talking at the party that most parents spent between £7 and £10.

Also Id be interested to know what most parents spend on the birthday child when it is a classfriend but not a close class friend.

I often give them a gift my Dcs were given but did not want / had already. New, I mean, but has been given to us by a well meaning auntie. But then, I'm tight. And my Dcs are preschool so if I quietly put away the 3rd copy of the gruffalo in the present box, they never notice.

I would normally spend £5 on a class friend, with a £10 maximum for a very close friend. Ds1 only has a couple of friends though so I don't have to buy many presents. If he had a party every month to go to then I would definatley been sticking to a £5 or less.

Your present sounds lovely and what I would say is the book people have some great offers, if you had bought the same books from waterstones they would have cost much more, so the mum won't know how much you've spent.

Hopefully she will thank you tomorrow.

I spend the same...around 7 to 10 pounds but if I see something on sale for under a fiver then I'm on it like a...well like a pauper on a rotten chop.

at my dodgy simile.

Oh and I bet she just forgot you....how rude! Maybe she couldn't remember for sure what you got and felt funny saying "And thank YOU for the lovely thing you got!"

I think that's fine and very sensible, sounds a lovely present and it's incredibly unlikely she'll realise how little you paid for them!

Thanks guys, hopefully I am just being paranoid

I would not know what a toy cost, unless it was clearly expensive, I took over the reigns from DH and present prices droped, from £25-30 he spent, I kid you not! I was utterly Shocked when I realised, I went to £10 for bits of crap..halo??WTF too... we are on proper party presents now, good jigsaws, books and the like.
I would really like you to come to Bt's birthday next month (bday today) as I would rather have a book than a bit of plastic crap for a fortune which will further clutter our lives, I think it is an over sight and if not fuck um! they are dead to me

£5 whole class party, £7-10 for special friends, doing small group to activity and restaurant.
Wouldn't feel in the least guilty if I found something suitable was on a good offer.

I have often used a pay 2 buy 3 option for book presents at Christmas and other occasions when we had lots of birthdays at around the same time.

A well thought out cheap present is better than expensive junk.

I'd say the same £5 for classmate and £7-£10 for a proper friend. Tbh, we turn down a lot of birthday invites. Some of them just seem intended to maximise present haul. DD has been invited to parties of children she doesn't like and never speaks to! We just politely decline those.

Hopefully, this mum made a mistake. If she refused to thank you because you couldn't afford to spend more than £3 on her precious child then she has bigger problems than you!

How could she possibly know what you'd spent?

Book People books are ones you'd find in any bookshop, and like all books are marked only with their RRP not their actual selling price.

She may have concluded you'd spent way more than the typical amount. Of course, she may revise her opinion if she discovers you've interrogated most other parents about what they're spending.

I think i will be revising my budget ! I spend £10-£15 on a class friend and £15 plus on a close friend. I did start to wonder about this last year when dd2 got a present from The Pound shop as a gift at her party!

She won't know that you got the books from the Book People - as someone said if you'd got them in the bookshop they'd have cost more.

I have a budget of £5 for parties - with one child in year 1 and one in year 2 there have been a lot of parties to go to, and can't afford more. I do look out for things in the sales, and in TK Maxx.

Closeness of friend is irrelevant to the budget.

CeterisParibus - my boys would love to get nerf guns so I think YABU to assume the giver was being harsh there. I know it's not what you asked for but still a decent pressie IMO.

Anyway, I used to spend £7 on class mates and £10 on friend's but in ds2'x class we tend to do group collections and £5 is the normal input each.

Sorry OP, I'd also grab a bargain if I saw one. Lovely hardback books always go down well :-)

not at all! i normally spend about £7 but will spent a bit more if i find something i know a child will LOVE and equally if i find a bargain will buy that as well :)

and my boys LOVE nerf guns, the small ones cost about £8 so thats not a cheap present either!

DS is still a preschooler but we do have a 'circle' of friends children all similar ages 1-4yrs and birthday presents are around £5-6.. more than enough IMO.

for example, 3yr old girl recently got set of 4hard backed fairy books rrp £2.99 each (actually £1 each from B&M) and a pkt of 4fullsize tubs of girly coloured play-doh (£2 from morrisons) £6 in total! bargain!

oops clicked send too soon! duh!

so YANBU 2x hardbacked books for a class friend is very appropriate i would say!

We used to spend £10-£15 when we had dc1. Her birthday is in aug so end of school year. After numerous birthdays spending £10-£15 a present we realise when we had her party than most parents spend about half of that. We now spend about £7 per present as it was getting silly with a party most weekends!

Perhaps you'll receive a 'thank you' note (the proper way to do things and IMO much better than words or e-mails).

I never spend more than a fiver. The star wars lego encyclopedias were just £5 at the book people and every 5 year old boy who has been given one LOVES it to death. Especially as you get a minifigure.
The Harry Potter one is just £3.50 in WHSmith at the mo (again you get a minifigure) so I've stocked up on those too. I also have a load of the small lego kits we got in the Sainsburys sale before christmas which were all less than a fiver (lego Ninjago etc)
Its crazy to spend more than that. My son is invited to a party once or twice a month. If its a special friend, I will bump it up to a tenner if necessary, but never more than that.

I spend £5 on a class mate, up to £10 on a close friend. This year the parents in DS's class got together and agreed that for whole class parties each child would give £5 and the class would buy a toys r us voucher for the birthday child. Much easier.

I would still expect a thank you note from the child rather than the mum/dad thanking people!

£5 maximum on a child's gift here, less if I find a bargain. No shame.