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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to only spend £3 on the birthday boy?

63 replies

dimplebum · 10/01/2012 00:30

Ds was invited to yet another birthday party from one of his classmates. We really havent got the money to be splashing out so I took advantage of the offers at the book people and bought him 2 well known hardback books that were £3.

Today the mum was thanking everyone for their presents, child and parent, but totally missed us. Im hoping that I am just being paranoid and that this was a genuine error, but I cant help thinking that she was disappointed by how much we spent as I know from talking at the party that most parents spent between £7 and £10.

Also Id be interested to know what most parents spend on the birthday child when it is a classfriend but not a close class friend.

OP posts:
Fillybuster · 10/01/2012 15:55

You're just being paranoid. I tend to go shopping in the sales and stock up on all sorts of fab things for between £3-5 that are discounted from around £10. It's not about how much you spend, its about whether its a nice present, surely?

Oh, and my dcs happily consign presents to the 'regifting' pile if we're in agreement that it isn't something they really need....otherwise with 3 dcs and 25 children in each class, we'd be drowning in unecessary toys....

stealthsquiggle · 10/01/2012 15:57

That's a shame Flubba - I often make things (personalised bags) for party presents - so present is bag + small present in bag - and they go down a storm. Why are parents going Hmm, do you think? DD has recieved a couple of homemade presents and she has been thrilled with them (as was I).

nickelhasababy · 10/01/2012 15:59

How would they know they were only £3?
You'd need to be an expert at identifying Book Club books to know that they came from a Book Club and weren't full-price editions.

I know how to identify them, because I was trained in a large chain and I had to know when people were trying to return Book club editions after Christmas etc, that they had been given as a gift but didn't know themselves that they were book club.
I'm sure she just forgot to thank you.

hmc · 10/01/2012 16:00

I spend £5 - £10. I am sure the mother inadvertently left you out rather than intentionally

spartafc · 10/01/2012 16:01

Two books sounds lovely, it would probably seem generous, if anything. I bet she just forgot to thank you. And if she did it deliberately, then be glad you only spent £3 on her child.

Flubba · 10/01/2012 16:03

I dunno stealth - maybe they're a bit crap?! :( :o Or maybe they were hoping for something of greater value?

stealthsquiggle · 10/01/2012 16:12

I think it's pretty ungrateful either way, Flubba - I am far more likely to be Hmm about the present delivered unwrapped, in a carrier bag, at the end of the party because parent has shot out to get something whilst child was at the party. I still wouldn't actually go Hmm, but I think that and a homemade present are at opposite ends of the scale as to how much thought has been put into what birthday child would actually like - and that, rather than the £ value, is the real point, IMHO.

HappyMummyOfOne · 10/01/2012 22:20

I dont have a set budget, if we have time DS chooses something but occasionally i have something in mind. I always make sure its a nice decent present that will be liked and add sweets/choc/tattoos/stickers.

foreverondiet · 10/01/2012 22:23

My DC at a state school in leafy suburb. No children in school on free school meals. All professional middle class parents.

Most people spend £3-£5 on presents. I buy from book people, plus in sales (just picked up loads of things for £3-£4.

Original poster
dimplebum · 11/01/2012 00:10

Thank you all for your comments, You have really put my mind at ease.

OP posts:
civilfawlty · 11/01/2012 09:59

Jeez. Why would you be Hmm at a patent dashing out during the party to get your child a gift. Maybe they forgot; or were working or busy or left it at home. Why dot parents just cut each other some freakin slack? Its tough enough without getting all cats bum mouth about something so ridiculous.

vogonmothership · 11/01/2012 10:10

£5 top for anyone or re-gift/second hand. Our group of friends are quite open about this as everyone is watching the purse strings and so no one feels uncomfortable.
My dd got some brilliant charity shop gifts from friends on her birthday

stealthsquiggle · 11/01/2012 10:30

I did say I wouldn't actually be Hmm (or not externally, anyway) - but TBH, given the choice, I would rather they stayed, had a cup of coffee, and generally mucked in with no present than that they spend the party time (and, given where we live, it would be all the time) dashing to spend money on a random lump of plastic.

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