just phoned benefit fraud line to report my son's friend's mum.

[foogle]

I have sat on the info for ages and didn't do anything except get angrier and angrier.

For christmas son's friend got a pony, bmx bike, x box, ipod and family ski trip.

My son got a second hand lego set as that is all we could afford this year.

Son's friend gets free school meals and all school trips paid for.

We can't afford school dinners and scrimp and save for son to go on school trips.

Son's friend's dad lives with them and works but I know she claims benefits as a single mum.

She earns £25 an hour cash in hand at a racing stables.

She gets everything paid for, including housing benefit etc.

We can't afford ponies nor lessons yet she has 2 competition horses.

I never thought I 'd do this as she's a nice person but I've had enough.

Wibbly, thanks for clarifying. I assumed they'd added the lone parent premium to something else.

i want a job at those stables.

As a working single parent claiming WTC you cannot get trips funded. This doesn't seem fair to me.

If it's part of the curriculum the school can't refuse to take the child if you don't pay.

On your wedding day?!!

I suppose now everything is on the computer. But it could still take various departments to update.

Bloody curtain twitchers.

*departments a few days to update

I'm still curious as to what type of job pays £25 per hour at the stables. I'll have to ask when we're at the racetrack on Thursday.

On consideration, it couldn't be anything fulltime, as rarely would anyone pay that rate fulltime for a cash in hand job. And it can't be anything professional, as no professional would take cash in hand payment (again, especially not for a fulltime job). So that leaves sporadic part time work. Which is a whole lot different than fulltime work as far as income is concerned.

Now.. what if the person in question is on DLA and not working fulltime due to a MH problem, but goes to exercise horses for £25 a pop a couple times per week? She could easily be claiming the income regarding other benefits, but people on DLA CAN work. And what if she's reported that the child's father is living there, just hasn't taken the time to "inform the OP of this development" (as apparently this is what is expected ). What if some of the presents were from the paternal grandparents, and some from the maternal grandparents? What if they don't really "own" the horse? What if some of the presents were second-hand? What if their extended family is funding their holiday - or they are on DLA and have applied through one of the local charities that pays for these things? How does she know exactly what is being claimed? Has she seen the forms?

Something obviously held the OP back from reporting them before... I would say that she didn't have enough actual info and was making assumptions, and then jealousy got the better of her and she reported it.

Totempole, the money is available for extra curricular trips e.g. skiing holidays and such like.

OP will your face look like this when she confides in you that she's been shopped?

Just wondering.

Yes, OP.. will you be honest and tell her you've shopped her? Or will you be cowardly and pretend you know nothing about it and act shocked?

My post was deleted! I am proper [shocked]

I didnt even swear!

I only hinted that people do not get paid £25 per hr for working in a stables.

Why was that deleted? I didnt say everything the op said wasnt true or call her a troll.

I am confused. Lots of people have said you dont get paid that sort of money. Ok admitidly they didnt use the PA strike out but still....

The thread is starting to become unreadable now with all the deletions

OP I think YABU. Your motivations weren't about civic mindedness and for the general 'good' of society but because you felt jealous and resentful of what your son's friend received for christmas and the rest as detailed in your post. You were looking at what you didn't have and what they did have and that is what motivated you. You allowed yourself to be eaten up with anger and resentment over what someone else, i.e not in your control, was doing.
And echoing other posters, where did you get your facts from? Did you conduct your own investigation? Because now you've started the wheels rolling you will have to live the consequences that your actions may cause, as will they.

Oh and if you truly stand by your actions and feel proud of what you did, and feel you truly did the right thing for the right reasons then I guess you'll be having no problem in telling son'd friend's mum that you are the one who shopped them.

Peeps should go and look at the links on this thread:
AIBU about the government lying about DLA
for more ranty type things to get their fangs in to.

I don't think I am being particularly whiny Triggles but I take your point about the property ownership.

If you earn a high salary it doesn't really touch you but if you are in the middle it can be irksome.

I know I manage my finances well and always have done but at times we have really struggled because on paper we earnt to much but it made no account for our outgoings.

And see, this is where people don't stop to think. Your outgoings and their outgoings are most likely massively different. If they don't have a mortgage or a car, then they may not have:

• car insurance
• car payment
• mot, road tax
• petrol
• car maintenance/repairs
• house payment (although obviously they will have rent)
• housing insurance (more expensive than renters generally)
• housing maintenance costs/repairs

When you add that in with even a few moderate credit card bills per month, that can make a massive difference!

Your Christmas may be tight this year because you just replaced the heater in your house as well as the tires and a minor repair on your car. So you may be paying that off while they are saving a small amount each month towards Christmas. It can make all the difference in the world.

So again, worrying that someone who perhaps doesn't work is better off than you when you work is irrelevant. It's apples to oranges, to some extent.

And OP you've come on Mumsnet AIBU section to tell us this...why? If you are so sure that your actions were right, which you mustv'e been as you've already done the deed, then why do you need affirmation from posters on Mumsnet. Or are you a bit wobbly with what you've done and are seeking affirmation and people to say, 'oh well done you', 'you've done the right thing' etc etc....only you know if you've done the right thing

Thank you for all the single mums and dads the really do have to rely on help. I'm single mum of 3 and work but need help with rent, always scrutinised by the housing offiice by by giving bank statements and payslips every month, well done. it beggers belief how they've got away with it for so long. never feel any guilt. For one you've told about there are 100 more.

Why did my post get deleted

This is worth repeating. The point is are people better off without benefits in the long term for their own good? Yes, they often are. They become more self reliant and go for jobs they otherwise might not bother with and in a sense you do them a favour by having less of a welfare state.

The new rules whereby after 3 years on benefits you stop getting a penny unless you do 30 hours workfare a week which will be very popular with most tax payers are a start.

Me "Even if she is wrongly deprived of benefits in consequences she might... wait for it... actually get a job like the rest of us and that might do her a lot of good.

Lives can be improved not ruined if benefits are removed. There is too much dependence on benefits."

Notthefullshilling Tue 10-Jan-12 13:23:07
"Xenia did you write that in a hurry, were you distracted perhaps. I ask as I think I would find it very hard indeed to come up with a more nonsensical statement if I tried very very hard.
You say that despite being thrown off benefits that she is found to be claiming legitimatly, she will find a job that suits her, pays enough, and fits with her childcare responsabilities. She will then go on to live a happy life and be much the better for the experience. Please go and have a word with yourself!"

Actually it's really not worth repeating. This is not a "one size fits all" thing. We don't even know specifically if she is on DLA or what benefits she is even claiming. The OP can't even reliably know.

And if she is simply legitimately claiming benefits, then your comment that "even if she is wrongly deprived of benefits..... that might do her a lot of good" is absolutely ridiculous. Strikes me as a "shoot them all and sort it out later" mentality.

I sincerely doubt she is being paid £25 ph at a racing stables?
I wonder how you 'know' these 'facts'
No matter she will be investigated and if she is doing anything wrong then it will be addressed but tbh you sound really bitter. Perhaps her parents help out financially.

Why don't you get a full time job at these stables for the 25 pound an hour? You need the money, so whats stopping you? Maybe the fact that they don't pay anywhere near that much?

Regarding presents, my dd gets the best of everything, yet we've have barely spent a penny on her since she was born, she is spoilt by two very large, generous families. Who is to say that this boy, if indeed he did get all these wonderful xmas presents (and children lie, esp when they are embarrassed to have nothing) didn't receive them from extended family.

I don't believe this post is entirely accurate in these allegations.

Spite and begrudgery are very ugly qualities.