Neighbour is beginning to annoy me .

[droves]

we moved away from neighbours from hell. It's a relief. I love our new house.

We have a garden , it's larger than the neighbours , but parallel to theirs .

Before we moved in the knocked down the fence so they could fit a giangantic trampoline in the back garden. It sort of took a few inches of my garden.

Had told neighbour that we will be replacing the fence in summer.

At new year party , neighbour pops in . And tells people we have a shared garden . Wtf ?. Now her crappy double swing set it half way into mine and blocking acces into my shed.

I've moved it back into her garden several times. Not only is it really annoying I have to walk around the damn thing to get into my shed , she has started talking about what we will do about our shared garden.

It's not a shared garden. It's two gardens that happen to have a fence missing because she broke it.

And her dog shits all over .

So I'm planning to get the fence rebuilt and have the garden landscaped and decked by may .I will not tell her , but just do it . Aibu ?

Eh? Have I missed something or are there serious suggestions that the OP give up a secure council tenancy because some woman thinks it would be fun to have a shared garden?

I reckon the previous tenants probably agreed to this shared garden thing, or the ndn is chancing her arm because her garden is crappy. It doesn't exactly make her the neighbour from hell. I also suspect the previous lot sold the shed to the ndn or there was some arrangement.

Either way a long running battle involving midnight swing set moving and that sort of nonsense IS going to make the OP look like a loon - as she said, she's moved once because of neighbour trouble. A sensible conversation with the council and the ndn saying you'll be putting up a temporary chicken wire fence because your kids keep treading in dog shit should be enough.

Your local feed merchant type place (Mole Valley Farmers, that sort of thing?) will have the metal poles for temporary or electric fencing - just push into the ground.

On the face of it there's nothing here that can't be fixed, I think it's premature to talk about moving at this stage.

OP I strongly urge you to avoid outright confrontation with a neighbour. Having fallen foul of an unreasonable neighbour myself I can attest that it makes life so very unpleasant. Mine used to invite her guests to stamp on the wooden floor of her living room for hours on end. Her living room was above my flat

Take the advice on the chicken wire. Explain to her it's so the dogs arent using your garden. That's totally reasonable and has the additioanal merit of being true.

It will also be a good barometer of her reaction and what you'll need to think about next. Maybe nothing at all if she simply agrees.

Next approach the council again to understand the boundaries and whether you or they are accountable for your fence and it's upkeep. Undertake repairs accordingly.

so you would advise moving from a house OP loves before taking time to try and sort it out, get fences put up and whatnot?

bizarre!

Your neighbour is a bloody asbo.

You need to complain to landlord/council that the other tenant has removed the fence, is trespassing in your garden, is letting her dog poo in your garden, and ask that they deal with it!

Oh my god. The cheek of the woman. Get tough with her. And get a fence up ASAP!

This has been going on for some time and OP has not been willing to sort it out and will not be sorting it out for another 4 months. The longer it goes unsorted the harder it will be as neighbour will presume that OP has been fine with everything that has gone on. Neighbour may even feel that OP is being unreasonable to her. OP should sort the fencing issue out immediately either with temporary cheap solution or permanent solution. Merely advised moving out as OP seems unwilling to tackle the issues and is just moaning about the situation.

build a brick wall and pretend you can't speak engleze, otherwise very soon she'll be introducing you to her friends as a her partner.

Tell the council that you viewed the house with a fence up, therefore believed it was a safe environment for your DCs and accepted it accordingly. You had no knowledge she was going to knock the fence down and let her dogs roam free which is dangerous for your kids health (assuming you have young kids) and your enjoyment of the garden.

Another option is to give her the poo back in a bag - you don't want the smell in your bin. I got sick of cigarettes being thrown into my garden from the flat two floors above, my idiot dog ate them and kept being sick - nice polite note didn't work, so I shoved them into their letter box with a promise to keep returning their property until they stopped.

At least stick a pole up and use garden twine to mark boundary of where the fence will be going up.

Keep pestering the council - if they think they are going to be liable for something, it is amazing how much more quickly they will act.

Having slept on this , and re reading all your replys , I think i should sort of just get the ball moving with the fencing .

So this morning i have written out a letter to request "the form" for permission to resurrect the fence.
DH has contacted his friend , the landscaper/handyman about a quote for the new fence and gates to enclose the entire garden.

I really dont want to fall out with the neighbour , aside from the fence/swing set/dogs mess, there isnt really anything that she has done thats an indicator of future trouble.

Id rather get on with people .
No doubt she will come out and start talking at some point , hopefully when the bloke comes out to measure up and look at the garden. That way she will see that is in progress.

Dh thinks shes moving the swing set because her dd is a bit too big for it now and doesnt play with it anymore . That shes hopeing we adopt the fecking thing for our twins to use and it will save her arranging someone to take it away.

Makes sense i suppose , but i already told her i didnt want it , that im not happy with my twins going near it as its old and unsafe.

As for the dog , im just going to be a pest and knock on her door EVERY time the dog(s) mess in my garden.

Speak to your housing officer.

My old next door neighbours were council tennents. They would let their dogs poo pile up for weeks. I ask then to clean it as I couldn't have any windows open due to the smell, they said they would in three weeks when the garden was going to be redone! Phoned enviromental health but they put me through to her housing officer as she was a coucil tennant. Housing officer was disgusted and went to her house the next day, by the afternoon it was all gone. Hopefully yours will be just as unimpressed with someone elses dog pooing in your garden and will sort the fence out quickley!

If i was in a bad mood droves, i would get a pair of marigolds and set about making her a dog shit swingset, if she can't touch it, she can't move it back on to your side.

Our neighbours took the fence down before we moved into a property a few years ago (housing association) have no idea why, no kids, garden wasn't flat so they couldn't use it. Some odd people about

NOTHING AS STRANGE AS OTHER PEOPLE ?

The spray paint thing sounds petty, I wouldn't do that but would go round and chat to her with the deeds and tell her that although you like her as a person you don't like the way she is trying to take over your garden by recurrently moving the swing onto it and that you do intend putting up a new fence in the spring but until you do so you'd appreciate her keeping her stuff on her side and that you are doing her a favour by not making her replace the fence she knocked down.
Get a move on with the fence.

I was joking when i said spray paint .

A proper chat might do it , if i take the landscapers leaflets and start talking about wood stains . Mabey if i ask her what colour she would like it stained ?

thanks rebecca

An exneighbour of my parents spray painted the road between the properties as he was concerned my parents car sometimes went on his bit. They then didn't speak for 10 years!

droves, it is YOUR fence that you are paying for! Why ask the neighbour what colour she wants it? You are just continuing to let her think she can interfere/have a say in how you lead your life. Yes, I know you are trying to be nice but there is really no need to go that far. A nice chat and saying you will not charge her for knocking down the fence in the first place (or stealing the shed!) will suffice.

I just thought IF i included her in a minor way , then she wont object to the fence being a high one .( which she would be within her rights too).

So no then ? just crack on with it ?

The fence that was broken , was about 3 1/2 foot high.
The one i want to replace it with will be about 6 .
And will block her view into my kitchen window and dds bedroom (downstairs)

I dunno, I think I might ask her what colour she'd like her side. It kind of hammers home the 'this is happening' message.

Just crack on with it droves. If the fence is double the height to the original she will probably object to it regardless of what colour it is.

yes, put up a fence now, electrify it in case she tries to creep back into your garden. sounds like she wanted a bigger garden when previous owners moved out.

If she objects, just tell her it's for your DD to have some privacy when she's in her room and for the garden to be dog-free. Smile sweetly (and as genuinely as you can) and say that you appreciate her being so understanding because you moved from your last home because the last neighbours wouldn't allow you any privacy at all. Keep smiling as if you really appreciate her understanding.

Finish the conversation by saying "Ah it's lovely to have nice, understanding neighbours at last". That'll may disempower her.

Play her at her own game.

This is going to be a battle of nerves OP, but stay on track

That MAY disempower her

She can always paint her side, although I remember a previous thread where a woman objected to her neighbours painting their side of a fence she'd put up.
If I'm putting up a fence then I think I'm being generous by painting/ staining both sides. I would always choose the colour though. If she was that bothered about the colour she should have put it up herself.
If the fence was only 3 1/2 foot high before I'm surprised the trampoline couldn't have been carried over the fence and that the fence needed removing, or was it that the trampoline only fitted if she used part of your garden as well? If the latter it sounds as though your garden is only small so I'm not surprised you want all of it. Beware of too high a fence though as you may be left with a small shady square where nothing grows.