Right, am going to not panic about the passport, he will have to sort it one way or another, one the embassy is open it does look like we have options, thankyou to everyone with practical suggestions and experiences etc, really helpful. Either he gets it or he doesn't, it's not the end of the world, I will go with DD if not - it's in two weeks BTW, the 20th, so only just 10 working days, otherwise we would just send it Monday morning - you also cannot get the bloody forms anywhere but Ireland or London.
diddl Lived with his parents! and when he didn't, at uni, he muddled along, stumbling from one disaster to another, generally drunk though so he didn't care..
As for the bigger issue - I totally know I making a rod for my own back, etc etc, I know I sound bloody useless, a martyr, all that stuff people get told off about on here - but basically, he a a fantastic man, who in life generally is sorted and works bloody hard, however he does have terrible insomnia and so forgets things easily. He infuriates me as I do have to remember most things, have to organise the house, deal with pretty much everything to do with our DD and generally order him about if I want anything done..but on the other hand, he has single handedly done up our house from hideous 80's wreck to lovely period features etc, and is very capable in lots of ways. Does almost all the cooking at weekends, and has taken lots of comments on board about how stressed I an during the week with working full time and looking after DD, as he doesn't get home until very late, so has begun to do more when he is able to like cook at the weekends and freeze it. Sometimes he will totally surprise me by booking a surprise trip away or something - and then as we are about to leave it will transpire that he has packed his dirty washing and no socks (actually happened - he did however remember the engagement ring, thank fuck)
So yes, I am a bit of a martyr, because I know, after 10 years, that if I didn't do these things they wouldn't get done, but I have started to leave him to sort things, like for example the dentist - I have reminded him I don't know how many times to book an appointment, but enough is enough - he will get taken off their books if he doesn't do it, and will have to go private, or will end up needing an emergency dentist eventually cause he has't been for check ups - but what can I do - I remind him, or book it for him, and it's done - I don't and it ends up costing us, as a family, more money - I really don't know what the answer is!
I have told him I am unhappy with him because he relies on me too much and because getting an emergency passport, or at least getting the train to london to get it done quickly, is all going to cost money - and I have told him it is beer money he loses, not money for me and DD - but he will just continue to plod along, not taking it on board, because it's just the way he is, and the next thing he forgets will be too important for me to let go - I will have to do it!
tenebrist Bring on the support club for women with Irish husbands though, I love that. Anyone can join if they prove that their husband had everything done for him from a young age and was never allowed to lift a finger around the house, and has simultaneously developed the amazing talent of being able to ignore any nagging directed at him. whilst having gorgeous eyes and an accent to melt you in an instant, of course!
Anyone who has got to the end of that, I applaud you! I just felt I had to defend myself about being shit, I know I am!