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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to lamp my DH for this?!?

78 replies

missmakesstuff · 07/01/2012 12:07

AAARGH! ok, not actually going to be violent, before anyone tells me off, I am so annoyed though, his brother has invited us to Paris to see him and his girlfriend. To celebrate their birthdays (twins) They live abroad, we barely see them, only met her once, seems lovely. They have only met DD once. Their xmas present to us is to pay for the hotel and eurostar, was very excited, they told us three weeks ago...

So I am looking into the trains today, DH just happens to ask 'Do i need a passport for this?' Cause mine runs out..erm...today!

We were meant to be taking cash over to his brother so he could buy an engagement ring for her there, can't bring that much cash out of where they live.

I am sat here fuming, have looked into it online but it isn't possible to renew it before then, he is Irish.

I happen to say how ridiculous it is that he has left it to run out - he is all defensive, well I didn't know we were going anywhere, this is so typical - basically he would have just assumed I would remind him or something, he has business trips all the time abroad, has one in May, he just doesn't take bloody responsibility for anything like this, if left to him everything paperwork related would just be a mess.

I am so annoyed! I was really looking forward to it!

OP posts:
Flanelle · 07/01/2012 13:20

You don't need to call him a name. You both know what he is and that's enough. He's going to feel like SUCH AN ARSE!!

Btw, he hasn't really done aything wrong. Not morally wrong. He just let his pp lapse. No biggie - he loses out, he learns. Just go and don't worry about him.

Smellslikecatspee · 07/01/2012 13:39

Hi, you can get your passport renewed in a day by going to the Embassy in London, I've done it. The issue you will have is you need to have the application filled in as you need two signatures, and I'm not sure if you can download that.

Just looked at the website and you need form APS 2 and no you can't download you have to get it from the embassy too.

Actually looking at the web site it says you can't renew in one day sorry Blush here the website.
www.citizensinformation.ie/en/travel_and_recreation/travel_abroad/passports/renewing_an_irish_passport.html

Smellslikecatspee · 07/01/2012 13:41

Though it worth calling them anyway, they're very helpful

Original poster
missmakesstuff · 07/01/2012 14:00

I know, it doesn't affect me as such, but it is his birthday too, I was looking forward to going away and celebrating with him and his family, my friends too, I know his brother before I met him! We barely see them, and with him about to propose to his girlfriend, buying a ring etc, he wanted to be there for that. I also really would like to not have to keep DD entertained on my own on the train for two hours, she is nearly two and is manic. I also have the problem that we have impending ofsted, if they told us it was going to be the following week, I would have to work over the weekend, planning lessons, marking etc - I would still have gone, but worked on the train/at the hotel and got it done somehow, can't do that as easily without him there, as they could have left me to it for a couple of hours and all three of them gone out with DD.
His brother will care that he isn't going to see him, but he won't have a go either, he is just as bad, they are exactly alike. He once booked tickets for the new year to fly back after being at home, but booked them for the wrong year! Turned up at the airport to find he had the wrong airport, many, many other stories the same.

It's just that he doesn't take responsibility for any of this stuff, I do all the organising, I do it all day at work, then all the stuff at home, to do with DD, the housework, food, car, everything. I have to remind him about every tiny thing.

He knows is is an arse. He called the embassy earlier, they are shut. he is walking around doing all the jobs round the house that need doing, looking sheepish and not saying much. I have told him I am going anyway - I have to, I need to take BIL his money for the ring. Not looking forward to taking 10,000 worth of travellers cheques over there on my own either, but that is another story!!

just got to keep everything crossed that the irish embassy can sort it - hopefully they are as laid back about everything as he is!

OP posts:
Original poster
missmakesstuff · 07/01/2012 14:07

Thanks smellslikecatspee (great name! I hope not true!) It's what I thought - the signature thing is annoying, as I have signed loads, but couldn't do his - we do have a friend who is a cop, so our best bet is to call on monday, get the forms sent out, go and get friend to sign, then he can head up there late next week. I think themn they send it out to him - but this is unlikely to be quick enough.

Thanks for all your help people. I feel slightly less violent now...Still going to hate having to go without him, really depressed about that. Will keep in mind lovely cakes and food and wine...will have to have his share of course!

OP posts:
EauDeLaPoisson · 07/01/2012 14:12

Ermm what your brother and his girlfriend are twins?

ceres · 07/01/2012 14:13

i'm irish and a few years ago got a passport issued at the embassy in london - it was meant to take a few days but after hearing my (genuine!) sob story they gave it ot me straight away.

iirc they gave me a temporary one and the proper one was issued a few weeks later.

good luck - hope he gets it sorted.

Phantomquartz · 07/01/2012 14:22

You could just try to wing it. I do know of people who have travelled on an expired passport.

ladyfirenze · 07/01/2012 14:45

i am almost positive dh can still travel on his passport. I'm english but have done this twice. last time was a couple of years ago - I flew to greece on a passport that was two years out of date. No one batted an eye. I'd ring the airline you're flying with and check.

ChickensGoMeh · 07/01/2012 14:53

The Irish embassy in London can issue a temporary passport if you ring and beg. They lost the DC birth certs when we applied last year Hmm, and after I rang and went a bit mental at them, they issued temporary documents. Politeness might work, too

cece · 07/01/2012 15:03

Or does this help?

TeaOneSugar · 07/01/2012 15:08

The OPs DH and his Brother are twins - If I've understood correctly.

ShineYourButtonsWithBrasso · 07/01/2012 15:17

Some of the replies here sound really positive OP and you have 3 weeks for your Dh to sort it out!

Original poster
missmakesstuff · 07/01/2012 15:22

Thank you everyone, we have options it seems! He is going to try the embassy, see what they say. hopefully get an emergency one.

My DH and his brother are identical twins, lol at him and his girlfriend being twins! They have identical passport photos, we have considered him fedex'ing his over to us once he is in france, but I told DH I didn't want to add fraud to the list of catastrophes over the years!!

OP posts:
diddl · 07/01/2012 15:27

Hope it all gets sorted out in time, OP.

carabos · 07/01/2012 15:30

Hey that sounds like a great idea- bit of passport fraud to kick off the year in style - what an exciting Xmas round robin you would be able to write! Wink

OhDeeeeeryMe · 07/01/2012 15:32

The passport will take ten working days to arrive and the paperwork needs to be signed by a priest, head teacher, solicitor, police officer, judge they don't just let anyone sign it like the British ones...! Good Luck

CiderwithBuda · 07/01/2012 15:33

Well he will need passport photos so send him out for them today or tomorrow so that at least that is done.

Get all the paperwork together and I think if you already have tickets booked they will issue it straight away if he has everything.

You have reminded me I need to renew DS's passport too. Also Irish. Must get that sorted.

DitaVonCheese · 07/01/2012 15:50

If you can't get it renewed in time, it's always worth him just presenting himself at Eurostar and seeing if they notice. I went on a girls' trip just after I finished my finals and realised with horror when we arrived at the airport that my passport had expired Shock We were very chatty whenever our passports were shown to distract whichever official was looking at it and got there and back with no problems at all. Not sure it works with new-fangled bar code or whatever it is ones though ... If it doesn't work then you'll just have to go without him obviously ...

DitaVonCheese · 07/01/2012 15:52

Actually, I do know someone who's travelled to France without a passport. He had to have a stack of ID and arrange it in advance and have every official on the way laugh at him for being a wally (he was a friend's now ex - thankfully - DP who had spent weeks before the trip sanctimoniously reminding her that she should make sure her passport was valid, then couldn't find his).

yellowraincoat · 07/01/2012 15:54

Sounds like the kind of thing my partner does OP, drives me bloody bonkers.

Please leave him to sort it though and if he can't, you go and have a lovely time. The more I just leave my man to sort out his own catastrophes, the more he learns to stop relying on me for everybloodything.

warthog · 07/01/2012 15:57

he is crap with paperwork, but since you do it all for him he's not going to get better at it.

i would tell him that he'd better be on that bloody train or you'll be going without him and it's up to HIM to fucking sort it fucking out fucking well now.

THEN DO NOT MENTION IT EVER AGAIN.

Sudaname · 07/01/2012 16:00

Yes definitely lamp him.

Then when he gets up lamp him again.

Stangirl · 07/01/2012 16:18

My friend recently flew from London to Dublin on just a driving license.

Original poster
missmakesstuff · 07/01/2012 16:22

I would love to leave him to sort stuff out, but as usual, this is another thing that will cost us - train to london, probably a fee for a temp passport, then the real on on top of that, it's like everything - if I waited till he phoned the credit card company to do a balance tranfer when our 0% period is up, it would take him months, so we ebd up paying interest - in the end, it is just easier if I do everything. I hate it, but this I will let go, he can just have less beer money when we get there if he is able to go, and if not, then his loss. Have spoken to BIL and they agree, told him he is a twat. They said they would be happy to see me anyway, and it looks like BIL might be able to call in here on his way back to home anyway, so he will see him, just won't be what we planned.

dita I would chance it, but I hate the thought of paying for his ticket (or BIL paying) and then it going to waste, with the cheap tickets you can't get a refund. it also would cause hassle as he doesn't drive, so would have to somehow get back home from the eurostar terminal, not doable by train.
Another thing that annoys me, he won't learn!

I do love him though, he isn't a total twat, just has twattish tendencies with some things! He is currently grouting the bathroom and keeping put of my way.

OP posts: