To be upset by what has been said about my son

[Everyothercloud]

I am new here and would like as much advice as possible. My ds is now in yr 3, when he was in yr 1 I heard from a family friend that she had been contacted by a neighbour concerned that a mother at my ds school had been spoken to by a teacher to say ds had licked her son privates. As soon as I was told I phoned and demanded to speak to head, she said she would speak to teacher and get back to me. She did and said they had no record of anything related to my ds, she said there was an incident last year but nothing to do with my ds, she said she has spoken to parent involved and feels it just a bit of gossip and not to make an issue of it, which I didn't, but my ds 2 years later has no real friends, doesn't get invited anywhere and I am so snubbed I detest going up the school. Honest opinions please because I feel so angry or am I paranoid?

This would be regarded as a serious safeguarding issue if it had actually happened in the way you describe. Your post concerns me.

Did your ds have friends at play group/ nursery and is he happy?
If he's not happy could you move schools?

i hope

I have read nearly every thread on MN today looking like this

Can you work on building positive friendships for your DS rather than focusing on the past. Perhaps try to speak to the teacher about why she thinks your DS is not managing to make friends and whether the school can help in any way. Also can you try to invite one or two of DS's classmates with friendlier parents over, or suggest an outing? If you are really not getting anywhere, is there a parent you could talk to about the problems and ask them for advice on what to do - ie develop an allay who can maybe help to get your DS more integrated with others. Also, does you DS go to any after-school clubs or activities where he could make his own friends there?

I don't really understand, am I supposed to have made it up, am I being reported for doing wrong? This is why I find it hard to forget.

honestly?

if this has been going on for 2 years why is your son still there? why is this an issue now?

I have seriously considered moving him but feel it would look like he's done something wrong as he would be in same school again when he goes up and yes he does activities outside school and they all go well.

Wasn't there an identical thread about this situation a few weeks ago, but it was DD instead of DS?

It's not that anything further was said, I just don't feel it was dealt with well at the time.

How can I find the other thread please?

If this is true it's concerning.
If it's not true it's doubly concerning.

Yes it's true, can I ask what anyone else would do or would have done in my position?

I heard from a family friend that she had been contacted by a neighbour concerned that a mother at my ds school had been spoken to by a teacher to say...etc etc

Well really, thats so fourth hand its quite the most splendidly stupid bit of rumour mongering I've ever read.

Yes it is except I was so angry about that that she actually printed out and showed my a copy of the email conversation.

There was an email between a so called friend and her neighbour who heard it at school went along the lines of ' I know you know ........... and I have heard ........... and I am concerned ......

I have been trying to think of things to day but I am truly baffled. I just cannot see how any head teacher would treat an situation like this as "gossip". This is a very serious thing to be saying about any child.

What exactly did you tell her?

Say*

And you still have the email? I'd sue them. Sue them all.