To be traumatised by this; at child's swimming lesson and what should I do?

[Zipitydooda]

My sons' go to after school swimming lessons at a pool. They are 7 and (just) 4 and have been having lessons here for 2 terms. Today was the first lesson of the term and the groups/teachers had swapped around.

Parents can watch the lessons through large windows to the poolside that are partially soundproofed both ways. There is a locked door to the poolside that teachers have the code for that can be opened from poolside with no code but handle too high for a child. They don't use armbands.

I was watching my 4 year old (non swimmer) go to the lesson his name was called for and I saw immediately that he was not in the right group (the children were all at least 2 years older than him) and was being led to the deep end. I banged on the windows to tell them. The nearest teachers looked at me and continued to talk to each other. I saw the children were jumping into the deep end one at a time. I banged louder and repeatedly; my older son was trying to leap up and reach the door handle from inside. I continued to bang; someone finally opened the door and I started telling him to stop my son jumping in, he can't swim etc, just as he jumped in. I continued to shout for what seemed like ages but was probably a matter of a few seconds as I saw my DS under the water. Thank goodness, he popped up and someone grabbed him.

He was very distressed, as was I. He is the most amazing boy and after cuddles and reassurance from me, went to the correct class. They had messed up with their paperwork and somehow had him down for his brother's group and vice versa.

He was fine, his older brother was in tears having watched, what he thought was, his little brother drowning. I was (and still am) in pieces about this. I feel that my trust in the pool people to ensure the safety of my child has been betrayed. Another child would have refused to swim again after this; my DS is the exception. I complained and was told no one from management was there and did I want someone to phone me? No apology, no recognition of how traumatic this situation was for me to see unfolding (it was like one of those nightmares where you are trying to run, talk etc but you can't), no nothing yet.

Am I unreasonable to be so upset? And What Should I do?

Totally agree with imagine that. Your OP sounds like a slow motion bad dream Zipity. The posters who say it was no big deal- well I can't agree with that. Drowning takes seconds and you get no second chances.

I would write and complain in the strongest terms and suggest in future the parents are not kept behind a locked door and a thick glass window.

I would ask to see a copy of their health & safety procedures, specifically the justification for the locked door as that seems a bizarre mechanism to me. They should have recorded this as an incident either against their procedures or if nothing already exists to prevent it happening then something should be put in place as a result of it having happened. If you do not get satisfaction, phone the HSE. It is not just a traumatic event for you & the children, rather a near miss.

I meant to update this on Monday but haven't had a chance.

I spoke with the pool manager at length and they are very apologetic, they have taken my concerns seriously and are changing procedure so this couldn't happen again. They are still working out exactly how.

I am satisfied that my concerns are being taken seriously. They seem grateful to me that I havent made more of a fuss than I did; which makes me wonder what they expected me to do?? Sue? I really don't know.

The one sticking point is the locked door. They won't change the locked door situation so there is still no way to quickly alert staff to problems. They said that when they haven't had a locked door the constant interruption by parents adjusting goggles and swim hats, chatting to teachers, and to their children etc has created a safety hazard and was impossible.

The boys were fine at their swimming lesson on Wednesday and enjoyed it as much as they usually do. I'm still having visions of 'silent drowning', the fact that some of you have seen children drown at pools is still in my mind unfortunately.

That's odd about them feeling parents create a safety hazard. At my dds' swimming lesson we all sit along the side and i don't see anyone intereupting the teachers or talking to their children.

I agree Miette.

I have three dc and they have had lessons at six different places between them. I have never seen anything worse than a parent gesturing from their seat - often for their child to pay attention rather than twanging their goggles or pissing about with the kid next to them.

(except parents of older swimming club pre teens who are occasionally batty, pushy arses)

Hmm, parents poolside here during lessons and yes there is usually a queue of enthusiastic and supportive uber-pushy parents wanting to speak to the teachers at the start/end of every lesson, must really irritate them and takes up lots of time too.

Glad that your concerns are being dealt with OP, it must have been hoorid for you - glad to hear that your DC not put off.

But parents trying to corner the teachers is not a safety issue. Annoying, but not a safety issue surely?

Well I guess if the teachers are distracted by trying to sort the queue of parents then they have less available attention for anything untoward happening in the water? - Parents will talk to the teacher even as they are trying to start the lesson.

actually the lesson here is that the teachers need a cattleprod to keep the parents away

I see what you mean but honestly I have never seen it be a problem.
The dc are not allowed in the water until the teachers says and the teachers deal with the parents by saying 'i need to start the next class, can we talk about this another time?'

Maybe I've just been lucky but seriously six different sets of lessons in two counties and I have never seen this be a big issue.

I have almost drowned before in a pool (not swimming lesson.) Some people here are saying it takes seconds to drown, giving the impression if you were 5 seconds pulling him out he'd be dead or something. If the children were jumping in one by one, it would be obvious that he was not coming up and would have been helped within 10 seconds or so. He would have been fine.

Yes, it is silent, so be vigilant and watch for people under the surface. NO NEED to be paranoid about it though. Swimming is fun even in my opinion. Never traumatised me. :o

Basically YANBU to be upset or vigilant but YABU to be "traumatised".

I can absolutely understand that this was traumatic for you.

I jumped in the deep end of the pool when I was learning (maybe 7 or 8 yrs old) and even though I was floating to the top, those moments whilst i tried not to panic seemed to last for ever. I also refused to go swimming for weeks after and can still clearly remember it.
My mum panicked. My dad -my hero- saved me and stressed that it was so important to continue to learn so that if I did a silly thing again, I'd cope.

Try to think like this - they are learning, getting stronger and more confident and so if this ever happens again, you have more faith that your dc will know what to do.

Hopefully, the staff won't make this stupid mistake again. Really shocked there was no apology. Maybe they were thinking 'oh shit, that was bloody lucky' and didn't know what to say. Arses!

Pagwatch you must not have been to swimming lessons in N London, I do have some sympathy for the teachers here. Some of the parents are pretty full-on.

Goodness what a terrible thing to happen! I feel sick thinking about it.

I'm glad you are persevering with the lessons- the best way for your boys to be safe in the pool is to learn to swim after all. My boys' lessons also teach things like how to jump in safely, about getting back to wall, holding on and climbing out (they are younger though)

Write and complain.

We live overseas and we luckily have lots of lots of choice re swim schools. Don't mean to sound braggy but I wanted to give some context.

We started off at big gym (very expensive/reputable) but what I realised was that many teachers doing the lessons were fab swimmers (great when kids were older for squads/competitions etc) but not necessarily great teachers of beginners.

Have a look around and find somewhere you are both comfortable.

I don't think you over-reacted by the way.

Good luck!

Oh, posted then saw OP's update. Glad things seem better.

I thought Surrey mums were pretty impressive in the pushy stakes. But not enough to compete with n. London apparently

Pagwatch Nobody messes with North London Mums. It's a jungle out there .

I witnessed something like this at our pool. Parents watch from the cafe behind thick glass. Suddenly a father starts thumping like mad on the glass because his son is struggling and going underwater. The teacher is oblivious because she is taking someone else in the class across the pool.. ratio is one to eight. Parents complained and stressed they did not blame the teacher as she cannot keep watching everyone all the time. We were told that the CCTV was viewed and the boy was only under for a second (not true). We asked for there to be lifeguards and told this was not necessary.
I have read MANY MANY stories of children drowning in busy pools, so think all pools should have lifeguards watching while the teachers teach.
And next time, I'd advise any worried parent trying to attract the teacher's attention through thick glass to just throw a chair at it. Seriously... it only takes a minute to drown.
And OP I would complain to the council, the pool and health and safety. And the local newspaper and your local MP.

sorry just read OP's update. LOCKED DOOR?? Surely a health and safety hazard to have locked doors in public place? Just a rule saying no parents poolside unless child is drowning would be sufficient?