To be traumatised by this; at child's swimming lesson and what should I do?

[Zipitydooda]

My sons' go to after school swimming lessons at a pool. They are 7 and (just) 4 and have been having lessons here for 2 terms. Today was the first lesson of the term and the groups/teachers had swapped around.

Parents can watch the lessons through large windows to the poolside that are partially soundproofed both ways. There is a locked door to the poolside that teachers have the code for that can be opened from poolside with no code but handle too high for a child. They don't use armbands.

I was watching my 4 year old (non swimmer) go to the lesson his name was called for and I saw immediately that he was not in the right group (the children were all at least 2 years older than him) and was being led to the deep end. I banged on the windows to tell them. The nearest teachers looked at me and continued to talk to each other. I saw the children were jumping into the deep end one at a time. I banged louder and repeatedly; my older son was trying to leap up and reach the door handle from inside. I continued to bang; someone finally opened the door and I started telling him to stop my son jumping in, he can't swim etc, just as he jumped in. I continued to shout for what seemed like ages but was probably a matter of a few seconds as I saw my DS under the water. Thank goodness, he popped up and someone grabbed him.

He was very distressed, as was I. He is the most amazing boy and after cuddles and reassurance from me, went to the correct class. They had messed up with their paperwork and somehow had him down for his brother's group and vice versa.

He was fine, his older brother was in tears having watched, what he thought was, his little brother drowning. I was (and still am) in pieces about this. I feel that my trust in the pool people to ensure the safety of my child has been betrayed. Another child would have refused to swim again after this; my DS is the exception. I complained and was told no one from management was there and did I want someone to phone me? No apology, no recognition of how traumatic this situation was for me to see unfolding (it was like one of those nightmares where you are trying to run, talk etc but you can't), no nothing yet.

Am I unreasonable to be so upset? And What Should I do?

I think the locked door is the big problem here. If you had been able to attract the teacher's attention, or reach your son, you wouldn't have been half as worried and your son may not have been encouraged to jump in. Seems ridiculous and unsafe to have a locked door between parents and children - with the best will in the world, sometimes swimming teachers might miss something while they are dealing with a group of children.

I'm surprised no-one was able to deal with you all there and then - they shouldn't rely on 'no-one from management is here' - ffs they run children's swimming lessons, the people there at that session are supposed to take responsibility, especially if they actually lock the parents out!

DO write and complain - this was clearly a dangerous situation and they need to change the way they work to a. stop it happening again and b. ensure any other problems are dealt with properly at the time.

All's well that ends well in this instance, but I think it should be pursued. There is such a thing as silent drowning, where there are no signs of distress. It's an instinctive reaction that the casualty has no control over whatsoever. There are numerous occasions where people have died in swimming pools as a result of silent drowning - including one occasion where the casualty was watched by onlookers (including a lifeguard) who didn't recognise what was going on because of the lack of a struggle.

If the OP's little boy had been two years older but still unable to swim, and if his mother hadn't been trying to get people's attention, he could have easily been overlooked or assumed to be larking around. It only takes a few seconds to drown.

I am a particularly laissez faire mother, but I take it as a given when I am paying professionals to work with my child, that they will be supervised and kept safe.

Sorry you've had such a shock OP. I'd downplay this to yourself and your little boy as no one has come to harm and you don't want to set up any negative associations for him or for yourself when he's out of your care. But I would take this further with the pool. No one's head has to roll, but if they change the procedures so that staff simply get in the habit of checking who is in each group and their level of ability before anyone gets in the water, that's a result.

While I wouldn't exactly be happy either - and I would ensure someone in charge knew a mistake had been made - I also think you are overreacting quite a bit. There were plenty of trained adults about, all the children were being watched carefully, as they would be, he jumped into a swimming pool (one at a time, no chaos and confusion) and someone fished him out. There was no way he was even going to come close to drowning.

If the adult ratios are appropriate, there is no reason for parents to see what is going on in the class. The teachers are responsible. Our lessons are at a small primary school pool and parents are not allowed to watch apart from once at the end of term - there is no space. I usually sit outside in the car.

I do agree not nice to watch.

At my ds2's first lesson (he was 4 too) he left his group in the shallow end and swam all the way to the deep end to join in with the group there.

It was the other group's teacher that noticed he had an extra body in his class, ds2's teacher didn't even notice AFAIK the lifeguard didn't notice either.

I was watching through the window and certainly did notice! I didn't do anything as I knew he was capable of swimming to the deep end but if he had got into trouble I would have raun through ASAP!

The Swimmin teacher did mention it, but not in an apologising sort of way, more in a ha ha he needs to go up a group way. I was a bit but I didn't want to cause a fuss...

How awful to witness this unfolding before your eyes,I bet it keeps you awake tonight .

Thanks for your advice, letter written.

I still don't know about continuing lessons there.

if youre not happy dont continue lessons.your ds will pick up on your nervousness.locked door is v.weird but he was ok and he just jumped in he didnt drown.

A similar thing happened to me and my ds when he was learning to swim. He moved into a new group and the teacher asked him if he could swim and he said yes......he couldn't, but he wasn't about to tell her that!!! He jumped in, flailed and promptly went under. I was watching from the seating area and screamed at the teacher but she didn't hear me cos she had already dived in to fish him out. I had a rant, she apologised for taking the word of a 6year old without checking, and that was that, no harm done although I can still taste the absolute panic i felt seeing him sink, and he went on to swim like a fish under the tuition of the same teacher, who incidentally shared a mutual adoration with him :)

I would have been livid and would have let them know in no uncertain terms what I thought about letting children they clearly didn't know jump into deep water without even paying close attention to them.

I would expect an apology from management, measures for this not to happen again and, if not, I would complain to a higher authority.
A child could drown before they even noticed.

Sounds horrible Zipity, I felt sick reading your OP. Personally I would not feel able to trust them in future so I would think about going somewhere else. I do find it a bit surprising too that he's had two terms' of lessons and is still not swimming at all. One of my dcs was a very nervous non-swimmer, wanted to be held all the time etc and after enrolling with a really excellent swimming teacher she has gone from nervous non swimmer to level 6 in less than 18 months. I've seen similar progress in other children who go to the same place, one of whom had been to lessons at the council-run for 6 years and was still only just swimming!

I think you panicked and are looking too deeply into this. but im just guaging this on dds swimming lessons. I think his age and fact he is a couple of terms in he would have the skills to come to the surface and im pretty sure the insructors would be assuring he is watched when jumping and would know if he was in danger, even in a slightly more advanced group, the supervision tends to be much similar.

I think a formal complaint is a bit ott.

I'm quite at some of these responses TBH. I had a situation with my then-3 yo in a 2:1 lesson going under the water several times while not being watched, and even being right there (on the other side of the pool) the teacher (a) didn't notice and (b) didn't hear me. Luckily there was another mum nearer who alerted the teacher.

I complained to the owner of the swimming school and she did apologise and came to watch the next lesson, where the same teacher then left my 3 yo standing in neck-deep water (no buoyancy aids) while he went up the other end of the pool with the other child.

I told her I wasn't able to trust him to keep my child safe and got moved to a different teacher. If she hadn't done that I'd have had no hesitation in finding a different swim school. It's a bit late to say "oh sorry" once the child has drowned.

I can't believe people are telling you not to over react etc! It sounds absolutely terrifying to me! I would be down the pool tomorrow wanting to know what on earth had gone on. Yes it's highly unlikely your son was going to drown with lifeguards and teachers on stand by but i still think a four year old boy was in danger here. I hope you and your son are ok. Sounds terrifying to me.

I agree with you OP and don't think you are overreacting at all. What a nightmare. Yes, a written complaint is essential. UGH! I feel sick after reading that.

Can't you go in the pool with the kids? Does anyone else do this or is it just me? Does everyone sit at the side of the pool?

Sounds dreadful - I'd certainly complain or just vote with y feet and change schools.

The locked door isn't uncommon; the lack of registers with a new class certainly is, from my experience at 3 different swimming schools over 5 years.

I remember being aged 4 being thrown in the deep end and told to 'swim' and nearly drowning till someone noticed I was sinking, and yanked me out by the arms - I can still remember the pain of my arms pulling up my bodyweight from under the water. I did NOT learn to swim there and was v scared. (I learned 2 years later in a much gentler environment.)

I don't think an official complaint is OTT. I would be having a serious word with the organiser of swimming lessons, as well as a complaint in writing. I'm guessing this is the result of a human error, though. And we are all only human.

I am impressed by your DS actually jumping in. All 3 of my DC would have cried and refused (maybe one reason they are all still alive under my negligent care).

But even if a child was in the wrong class the teachers should have a close enough eye on them to make sure they don't drown, even if they are used to jumping in with no arm bands. Which is exactly what seems to have happened here. Some one noticed your DC was not OK and sorted him out.

I don't think you're over reacting at all, I can't believe some of these responses! I don't know if I'd take them back tbh.

I was at a public swimming pool a few years ago when a child drowned. I've no idea how it happened, I only saw them pull him out- but it shocked me to the core, as I always thought the lifeguards were extremely vigilant. Not in this case, sadly. It wasn't a lesson, though, just a public swimming session.

While I understand that what you witnessed was distressing for you, I think I'd be more focussed on what set up there is in the event a child does get into difficulty, as you son did on this occasion. Was there a teacher in the pool or were they stood at the side? Did they clearly see that your son couldn't swim, and actually fished him out, or was it just shear luck that your son came back up and was able to get to safety? Was the talking between the teachers distracting them from what was going on, or was the teacher fully focussed on each child getting into the pool?

My DD went to a swimming class from aged 3, and they regularly took them along to the deep end during each lesson. Each child was to jump in, while one teacher was on the side of the pool, and another in the pool. When done one at a time, everything was fine. My DD, being the impatient child that she is, decided to jump in straight after another child, giving the teacher in the pool a bit of a panic as she had 2 kids to try and grab, not near each other. The teacher on the side took the 1st child, while the teacher in the pool managed to grab my DD. I watched all this from the side of the pool, but wasn't panicked as I knew DD would resurface (she did this anyway as was used to going under) and I could also see both teachers were alert and jumped straight into dealing with the problem. When DD got bigger, she was moved to another class, and after watching the teacher chatting to others poolside, while 2 boys were fighting in the group, and no actual lesson was being taught, I removed her. The scary incident initially did not concern me, but the lack of focus and distraction from teachers on the side worried me more so I reacted to that not the incident which could have been perceived in a similar way to what you witnessed.

I agree it is worth speaking to management about the incident, but I'd be thinking about how focussed the teachers are, and how they react to a child in difficulty, in order to determine if I would continue with the lessons.

So to those who said that his teacher would have seen him & pulled him out etc, should OP just have stood by & watched (and hoped) that someone saw what was happening?

Well, as a mother, I wouldn't have just stood and done nothing.

It's so much easier to provide leveled advice when no involved, though.

my heart would have fallen through the floor :( but i wish at our local pool they'd just shut the doors, they are double doors at our local pool but they are left wide open

after going to a family swim with ds, then 2, we came out of the baths just as a lesson was starting, ds made a bolt for it straight through the double doors he was inches from the pool when i grabbed his hood.

DD was 5 and in stage 3 classes where they were just starting to get used to the bog pool but my DD was absolutely terrified and would cry her eyes out and refuse to get in the pool. Months and months of expensive one to one lessons helped get her over that fear till she was comfortable swimming and went up a stage.

One lesson her regular teacher was off sick and the sub took her group to the deep end of the pool and tried to get DD to jump in (teacher in water, dd on side) when dd refused the teacher decided after knowing dd for all of 5 mins that the best way to handle this was to get the lifeguard to push her in.

DD was traumatised and it took almost a year to get her back into the pool.

I'm about to go to sleep now. Catching up on all your replies.
I don't think I thought there was great danger of him drowning, although in this level of class the teacher often gets the children to jump in and swim to the other end and then the teacher walks to the other end while they are jumping in; it makes me feel a bit sick to imagine that happening; it didn't, the teacher was right there at the time and hadn't walked off yet (fortunately).
I wanted to spare him the distress of jumping in when he didn't know it was the deep end and he's never been on his own out of his depth before. I had no idea what would happen or how he'd react.

I'd have been really upset watching this happen and not being able to intervene and I'd have a calm word with them about it. At my dd's lessons we are not allowed in the actual pool, but we sit at the side of the pool. Not behind glass. Are there any other swimming lessons available where you can sit at the side and keep an eye?