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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse to take a child's free school meal token from them

74 replies

1Catherine1 · 04/01/2012 15:05

I'm a teacher in a secondary school and also a form tutor. I enjoy my role as a form tutor but there are certain tasks I would prefer to have no part in.

This might sound silly but I find it very awkward and difficult to take a child's dinner token from them. My own father grew up in difficult circumstances and I am well aware that his free school meal was often the only meal he would have in a day. It makes me very uncomfortable to be put in this situation and last time they asked me to do it I refused on grounds that my role was to be a supportive tutor, not the "bitch that took my lunch". For me, my relationship with my students is important. I'm wondering though if I'm over thinking things. I have no idea why it makes me so uncomfortable but it does.

They have requested that I take another girls token from her tomorrow when I see her as she wasn't in today (she was at her uncles funeral). I was just about to e-mail them back and tell them I would send her down to reception but have no part in the taking the token off her when I wondered if I was being unreasonable. AIBU? :(

Sorry if this seems trivial and people think I should just do it. I'm not wanting to refuse as I view it as an admin role or beneath me or anything like that.

OP posts:

Lueji · 04/01/2012 15:07

Why would dinner tokens be taken away from children?

Regardless, it should not be a teacher's role, but more of an admin one.

NoMoreWasabi · 04/01/2012 15:08

Why do you (or anyone else) have to take the token off them? Is it because they are no longer eligible or some other reason?

stubbornstains · 04/01/2012 15:08

Am I getting this right? You are expected to confiscate the pupils' lunch tokens as a punishment? Withholding food as punishment? You wouldn't be allowed to do that to prisoners of war, under the Geneva Convention (I think)....How on earth can you do that to children?

I really hope I've misunderstood the OP...

diabolo · 04/01/2012 15:09

I work in a school, have done for many years.

Why would you take a child's free school meal token from them? Is it a form of punishment? Sorry to appear thick, but I really don't understand.

Original poster

1Catherine1 · 04/01/2012 15:09

For the first one I was told that the parents hadn't supplied the necessary documentation to prove she was still eligible. This one I have just been told she is no longer entitled to it.

OP posts:

Cabrinha · 04/01/2012 15:09

I don't understand? They don't go without lunch then, it's for days they weren't in? Presumably it's to stop a black market in tokens. I think you're over thinking it - just ask, that's the rule, child will expect it.

RaspberryLemonPavlova · 04/01/2012 15:11

Surely they should be asked to go to student services to have them deal with it?

I wouldn't have thought it was a teacher's role.

Original poster

1Catherine1 · 04/01/2012 15:11

God no, if they were taking it as a punishment I would be the first one kicking off. It is an eligibility thing. Thing is the border between being eligible and not is a fine line. Doesn't really mean the parents are now well off. I know losing the free school meals can be difficult for some people.

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 04/01/2012 15:12

If a child is not present for lunch, then the token has to be 'put back into the system'.

YABU because you would be disiplined and the school accused of fraudulant book keeping. The tockens don't acrue, they are for that day, i don't see what the problem is. You are projecting onto your pupils and you should never do this.

starfishmummy · 04/01/2012 15:12

I don't think you are being unreasonable - it is not your role to do this.
If the family are no longer eligible then that is up to the school benefits department to sort out.

WorraLiberty · 04/01/2012 15:12

I still don't get it?

How can a child have a free school meal if they're not at school anyway?

If she was at a funeral, why would you expect her to need a token to eat at school?

diabolo · 04/01/2012 15:13

Blimey Catherine - all admin for FSM is done by the office at every school I know, when a child is no longer eligible, the admin staff call the parents and get them to provide a packed lunch or money to pay for a hot dinner.

I don't think it would be classed as a teachers job.

olgaga · 04/01/2012 15:13

It's not as though the children have missed a meal - if they weren't there to have it.

I think YABU - it's simply part of an accounting procedure. Unless you are prepared to tell your manager you feel it's an admin job, I think you'd better just do it. What good would the unused tokens be anyway? It's not as if they could be used for additional meals.

Wittsend13 · 04/01/2012 15:13

That's terrible. What if the child has no lunch that day? Does the school improvise?

Original poster

1Catherine1 · 04/01/2012 15:13

oh dear... I haven't explained this very well. I'm sorry. No, they have a token that they use every day. It is the same token always. If they miss a day, they don't use the token that day as they're not there. They couldn't possibly use it the next day as it is the same token. The canteen women just note their number.

OP posts:

roastparsnipsandbrusselsprouts · 04/01/2012 15:15

I think it seems perfectly reasonable for them to be sent to the office for this to be dealt with. Apart from anything it is a confidential matter.

Will someone be warning the parents in advance? Does the school give dinners if the child has no money or ticket? I hope the child will still get some lunch.

IndigoBell · 04/01/2012 15:15

Why don't you talk to the student?

Find out if they are eligible and just don't know how to apply, or if their circumstances have changed?

It's perfectly possible that they don't rely on the school meals and won't mind, isn't it?

And if they do need them, hopefully you can help them sort out the paperwork - or point them to the right person to do so.......

WorraLiberty · 04/01/2012 15:15

It is the same token always. If they miss a day, they don't use the token that day as they're not there. They couldn't possibly use it the next day as it is the same token

So what's the problem with asking for it back, if the girl wasn't in school on the day to use it?

Birdsgottafly · 04/01/2012 15:15

X posts. All i will say is that some people take the piss and for all you know the parents income could have doubled and you are giving something that really isn't needed.

It is easy to sort out eligibility for school meals, the parents need to be doing this and if the child is going without dinner, than a CAF should be started.

MrsMcEnroe · 04/01/2012 15:16

So, to clarify - the child isn't eligible for a token but despite this you won't take the token away from her - is that what you're saying?

olgaga · 04/01/2012 15:16

Just read your last post OP. If there's no entitlement, there's no entitlement. It's not up to you to bend the rules, it's up to you to uphold them!

I'm sure plenty of families could do with free school meals, but they're not eligible either. Should every child just be given lunch "free"?

diabolo · 04/01/2012 15:17

It does sound a bit mad OP - if they are no longer eligible under the given criteria, then that's that. I know it means they may not be well off, but there has to be a cut-off point somewhere.

I still think this is a job for admin staff, not teachers though.

BellaVita · 04/01/2012 15:18

In our school the Inclusion side deal with FSM. They need to be talking to the council about it who in turn should deal with the parents.

RumourOfAHurricane · 04/01/2012 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsTwinks · 04/01/2012 15:20

YANBU to feel bad about it, but it does need to be done. If its something you really feel uncomfortable about then talk to whoever it would be about maybe changing the process, but I wouldn't create an awful fuss over taking it tomorrow.

Think about it from the girls side, how will the child feel that unlike anyone else its not taken quietly by her tutor but she has to go into the office and all that?? TBH i would find that ALOT more horrible than a quiet word from my tutor iyswim.

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