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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister seemingly could barely make an effort to give niece & nephew Christmas presents

64 replies

Urbanvoltaire · 02/01/2012 22:38

i don't want to sound too grabby - please note my kids aren't that precious but.....my sister got them both a torch (kind of thing you get on the cheap from a petrol station). They both said thanks etc, then we gave her a few gifts (which I'd chosen and they'd help wrap)... Feel a bit disappointed as she asked me before Xmas what they might like (I'd suggested appropriate items, not too difficult or expensive for her to get, eg Lego, Sylvanian Families). That way she could choose according to her wishes.

Ah well, giving is as good as receiving, it's all over now.

OP posts:
SiamoNellaMerda · 02/01/2012 22:38

I keep thinking it's all over and then............

I suppose YANBU but come on - it really is all over!

Crabapple99 · 02/01/2012 22:39

How old are your kids, I think a torch can be a great present for little ones. i remeber my DC having hours of fun with thiers.

grograg · 02/01/2012 22:41

Maybe Lego and Sylvanian Families were too expensive for her?

cheesesarnie · 02/01/2012 22:42

mine love torches!

imo lego,sylvanian families etc is expensive!

Original poster
Urbanvoltaire · 02/01/2012 22:45

They are 5 & 10. Some SF & Lego stuff can be bought for less than a tenner, which was why I suggested it, I wasn't anticipating anything huge. It's more the lack of effort. She proceeded to tell me how she gave her friends 3 kids (all teenagers) WHSmiths & Boots vouchers ......

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 02/01/2012 22:48

Well, why didn't you say, "Next year, perhaps you could do the same for my DC? They would love that."

cheesesarnie · 02/01/2012 22:49

does it matter?your dc didnt mind,its a new year.move on.

lisad123 · 02/01/2012 22:50

Mine would love a torch!!
Sf and Lego is costly Confused

onetoomanytoo · 02/01/2012 22:51

op, you are lucky, or your kids are,
my sis failed to buy my daughter a thing,
i bought all of sis's 4 girls a pressie, but my girl got
not a thing, feel sad on her behalf.

Winkly · 02/01/2012 22:52

I always wanted a torch when I was little.

YABU, she didn't have to buy them anything at all.

Original poster
Urbanvoltaire · 02/01/2012 22:53

Imperial, I was being polite & keeping the peace, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Next year if she asks I'll suggest vouchers though.

We spent Christmas at different families & only met yesterday to catchup & exchange presents hence this post, and yes I have moved on.

OP posts:
Original poster
Urbanvoltaire · 02/01/2012 22:56

Onetoomany, that's sad for your daughter, did your sister not realise ?

Winkle, and perhaps I didn't have to get her anything either ! But I always do.

OP posts:
Winkly · 02/01/2012 23:03

How is the fact that you buy her a present that she may or may not like relevant to the fact that you dislike what she bought your children? As pointed out by myself and lisad, some.children love torches and YABU.

WorraLiberty · 02/01/2012 23:05

I hope your kids are more grateful than you are.

At least she bought them something never mind how much it cost and whether it was to your exact specification.

I wouldn't bother next year if I were her....seriously my kids love torches.

Bibbob · 02/01/2012 23:08

My SIL got her nephews nothing. Absolutely nothing. Apparently they are too expensive to buy for Hmm but she managed to buy presents for 8 adults but not them...the only children in the family.
And they are young and would be happy with a £1.50 pack of Lego mini figures.

Mumofmollyandjosh · 02/01/2012 23:09

Hmmm. interesting one. There is clearly a sense of obligation here... and I could understand if you feel taken for granted, and that the 'agreement' is unbalanced with you expressing more consideration.

The only thing you can do, is feel at peace that you gave with the right heart-attitude.... and give her a torch next year, knowing that this will balance your affections.

onetoomanytoo · 02/01/2012 23:12

urban, i don't know, not sure if sis " forgot" or did it deliberatly,
she will likely have some made up excuse in a few days time.

Lueji · 02/01/2012 23:15

I confirm that DS is very fond of his torch.
OK, it's slightly more expensive and has a windup mechanism for charging. He uses it during the night to get to my bed and it was a life saver when we had a blackout.
With some imagination your children can have great fun with the torches.
So, YABU, I'm afraid.

slartybartfast · 02/01/2012 23:15

perhaps you shoudl come to an agreement re the cost of the present.
i.e 5 or 7 per child.
and stick to it.

Winkly · 02/01/2012 23:16

One year I poked the presents and thought I was getting a torch.

It was an umbrella.

I was gutted :(

Mumofmollyandjosh · 02/01/2012 23:18

Winkly: Too funny! Sure it cheered everyone up a bit!

Original poster
Urbanvoltaire · 02/01/2012 23:20

I'm more peeved that she'd asked me beforehand what they might like which I'd suggested to her. And btw the torches are fine, I'm not ungrateful, perhaps I'll give her one next year as MofMJ suggests.

OP posts:
D0G · 02/01/2012 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sassyminder · 02/01/2012 23:21

Dh got a simple torch to dd who is 4 and she loves it, takes with her all the time een during the day. She is using as invastigation tool. She sleeps with it. Other great present was a cheap kids nail varnish thing from bil. We all have our nails done over xmas and NY. She doesnt even play with the expensive toys me and Pils gave her...

Winkly · 02/01/2012 23:22

Actually I was much more gracious as a child and pretended to be delighted but the disappointment has clearly lingered Grin