Sister seemingly could barely make an effort to give niece & nephew Christmas presents

[Urbanvoltaire]

i don't want to sound too grabby - please note my kids aren't that precious but.....my sister got them both a torch (kind of thing you get on the cheap from a petrol station). They both said thanks etc, then we gave her a few gifts (which I'd chosen and they'd help wrap)... Feel a bit disappointed as she asked me before Xmas what they might like (I'd suggested appropriate items, not too difficult or expensive for her to get, eg Lego, Sylvanian Families). That way she could choose according to her wishes.

Ah well, giving is as good as receiving, it's all over now.

My ds (11) received a set of garden tools (admitedly nice ones, all rustic looking and in a wicker basket) for Christmas from one of his GPs. For his birthday they sent him a plastic sandwich box and matching travel mug (just plain ones, nothing fancy)

He rather likes the garden tools (although he does precious little gardening I think he's mentioned it a few times, so I think his GP was latching onto any interest - they don't see each other that often) but the lunch set was a bit odd.

His cousin (same GP) on the other hand received a remote control doodah and a very cool sci-fi book with tons of illustrations.

The only thing I can think of is that they think my ds is too old for that kind of thing. I sincerely hope there isn't some form of favouritism going on. I don't think there is. DS didn't seem put out but I was.

OP I reckon your sister couldn't get hold of the toys you suggested for some reason and thought torches would be fun. As others have mentioned already, torches are very popular with children of all ages.

Actually that was quite cathartic writing all that. I think PIL was going for the outdoorsy, Boys Own thing - which isn't far off the mark at all really for an 11yo lad :)

Gosh....some people see Christmas as a test for their relatives to show how much they love them (the bigger and better the present, the more they are loved)

they are all BU and should be banned from Christmas next year!

yabu OP

I agree lego is very expensive and so is S F. i couldnt afford much this yr so my my sisters kids got a 5pound game voucher each and the little one had a cars 2 jigsaw which was 4.99..and i then got them a selection box each...i asked my sister she said game vouchers and cars2 for the little one...U can get some nice thoughtful presents at a budget to suit if u shop around..and for some ppl 10pound may be too much for them. I have 4 kids of my own and 3 stepchildren so we budget very carefully and buy as much as we can throughout the yr. But i see where u are coming from a little more thought would have gone a long way..i am assumming that its not the money spent that bothers you just the lack of thought thats gone into the presents! apologies for the text speak..finding it hard to stop doing it lol

gardening tools.. yup they are the kind of things I'ld buy for kids. How is it more thoughtful to just pick up the latest fad that's in every other shop on the high street? - you can get that stuff with your weekly shopping in big supermarkets!

(unless you live on a top floor flat with no balcony, then gardening tools are thoughtless)

I've given seeds as parts of presents before to kids who have gardens .

TBH with a few kids who I don't know as well but still have to buy for I am more likely to give in and get the "in" tacky electronic doodas because I don't know them well enough to imagine what kind of activities they'ld like IYKWIM

Reduce what makes it more ridiculous is that I?ve bought similar presents for children in the past. I think I was just still about the lunch set ? but I think I get it now. We?re fairly rural and ds does like to do outdoorsy things (although building dens and whatnot has less appeal these days than the Xbox, sadly).

I couldn?t agree more about it being more thoughtful to give something along those lines than simply to grab the latest fad from a shelf in Asda. I did wonder though whether they?d forgotten ds and had to raid the cupboard where the freebies and random ?someone will like this? potential gifts live, iykwim. I don?t think that was the case though, not now I?ve pondered it a bit.

I have been in your sister's position. The list of things for my nices and nephew were ALL out of my price bracket.

Andd yes I did but for a dfriend's child. My reasonoing being that my nieces and nephews

a) would get loads from parents / grandparents and my friend's child would get nothing form his own father or grandparents

b) nieces and nephews never say thank you

c) I couldn't afford to buy anythig on the list

YANBU I gave my children torches for Christmas in their stockings, as we camp a lot and they are useful. But they are 11 and 12 so giving them the same gift is not problematic. I do think that giving a 5 year old and a 10 year old the same present is showing a huge lack of imagination and shows that you don't know either of them very well, or that you can't really be bothered to think about what they might actually like. You can get Lego and Sylvanian families sets from £4 so I really doubt this was about cost. I wonder if she just forgot?

It's very hard for people buying christmas presents. I'm sure most people think that they are buying something that will be appreciated.....
They get it wrong sometimes...but at least they bothered.

I generally get thank you cards from most of my nieces and nephews (which is really nice). It takes a little effort...but acknowledges someones kindness.

If I were your sister OP....I don't think I would bother to give to your children again. She went out and bought something she thought your kids would like and you've come on this site having a moan that she didn't get what you wanted her to get.....nasty!

It could have been so much worse. She could have given them the dreaded moonsand...

My sister phoned me in November and suggested to me what I could buy her dd's x4 for Christmas (also ideas for birthday presents as 2 of her dd's have birthdays in Dec.)
I was happy with this and bought the toys she'd suggested.

I arranged to visit in Dec, so all the kids would have their birthday/Christmas presents on time. When I arrived on 11th Dec, she apologised that she hadn't had a chance to get my 4 dd anything but would. I appreciated that it was only the 11th.

A few days before Christmas she called to say she'd be over Boxing day to drop off presents, which was fine with me. When she came round she had nothing and said casually she'd have to do an IOU as she was too skint.

I would have still bought her dd's a present regardless but I was pissed off that she had been so specific with what she wanted for her dd's. I won't be letting her forget it.

Being an old gimmer, I have come to accept the simple fact that some people are shyte present givers. Just plain shyte.

You won't change them and suggestions rarely help. My response, so far as wasting time and thought about their offerings is now commensurate with their effort. So I don't allow myself to be more than mildly amused.

tbh..i like the giving much more than the recieving. Yes its very nice to get a present and my kids are always grateful for what they get, but i enjoy much more seeing someones face light up when they open there pressie. I couldnt care a less if i got nothing at all and my kids get plenty so if they get nothing of a few family members, i dont let it get to me..i still try my best to get nice presents for their children as i enjoy the joy it brings to them..surely thats what christmas should be about..the giving..not the recieving!! and as i always tell my kids..you dont give, to recieve.

Exactly what haziedoll said ages ago. And OMG Claire. That's pretty bad of your sister!
Op just leave it. You really don't know what's going on in people's lives. You're sis could be skint and is mortified to say.
Happy new year.