To be offended by being treated as DP's possession?

[MizK]

DP and I went to Liverpool for New Year's Eve, had a lovely time overall. We went into town at night, obviously the bars were pretty crowded and busy so we got a little bit bumped and jostled as we walked through places. All to be expected - however on two separate occasions, when a man would accidentally nudge or bump me, he would then look over at DP and apologise directly to him for bumping me! As though I was DPs pint that had been spilled or something! No apology directly to me at all. AIBU to think thats weird and annoying, and a little bit sexist? Also wondering if anybody else has noticed this....?

Eh?

My BiL ( educated professional man but inclined to get a bit mouthy when drunk) propositioned me in front of his wife, my mother and my DH. As far as I know, he has only apologised to DH and not to any of the females involved.

Carabos yes - thinking about it - that thing where you're in a pub and some bloke is badgering you and won't go away - and then your bloke comes back from the bog - and he apologises to him and scarpers pronto.

Really annoying.

Something that has also happened to me is the situation where when talking to another female, a partner of mine used to come over and put her arm around me, making sure the other girl knew about her. Is that a similar thing? Was she trying to give out the message that I was 'hers'.

Have you ever heard the phrase?

Can i borrow your husband?

Maybe, toweraboveyou. That's not really the same situation though, is it? I assume it doesn't bother you when your partner puts her arm around you. It does bother me (a lot) when men won't leave me alone when I've asked, or call me an arsey bitch because I won't talk to them.

That is similar yes. The difference though is that rather than talking, one person is actively telling the other to bugger off - but they won't until they have seen evidence that you are not available. You telling them repeatedly and sometimes in the strongest terms that you are not interested doesn't cut the mustard with a significant minority of blokes.

Significant minority is wishy washy language SGM.
WTF does a "Significant minority" mean when it's not an oxymoron?
This is going to turn into another classic bash the menz thread isn't it?

It used to bother me actually. I couldn't talk to a member of the opposite sex without her basically telling me and the girl I was talking to that I was taken. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing.

So why not say that to your partner, then, toweraboveyou?

Significant minority, xyfactor, means something like, let's say 10 - 40%. You know, a minority, but not an infinitesimal number.

HTH.

SGM?

Significant minority = way of saying that when a young woman goes out in the evening she has to brace herself for unwanted attention possibly of a really unpleasant type - and it sometimes feels as if all blokes are just godawful. However realistically they aren't all godawful no matter how much it feels like it sometimes.

toweraboveyou it feels more uncomfortable to be followed around all evening by someone to the point where you have to sneak away and go somewhere else when he's not looking, get threatened physcially or get shouted at that you're a dyke, frigid, ugly anyway etc etc

I think you're slotting an agenda in here.
Ignoring the male view of female jealousy is crass at best and ignorant at it's worst.

Well it's possibly going to turn into a thread which bashes men who won;t take no for an answer and fuck off when they're not wanted, but I can't see anything wrong with that.

Gosh. I thought significant minority was a quite clear phrase, especially for those with logical and mathematical brains

This thread is about men only apologising to other men when they have done stuff to women. So, um, if there is an agenda it's from the OP onwards. More likely that rather than an agenda, it's just a few women having a chat about annoying / upsetting real life experiences that they have had, eh.

She's my ex partner now. My DW is happy for me to talk to people. Those men who won't take no for an answer probably aren't sexist, just pricks.

It's not self help it's AIBU.
toweraboveyou has give his account from the male perspective and that has been ignored even though it's very very common.
Normanstanley...significant minority is a way of saying nearly all .
Anyone with half a braincell knows that.

Pricks and sexist quite often go together. More sexist = prick. But IME the other way round works a significant minority of the time

Pricks in a sexist world, toweraboveyou. If it wasn't acceptable, it wouldn't happen so much. It is acceptable because people don't really take it very seriously when women say it is threatening and unpleasant. Therefore it is sexist behaviour.

I have left clubs before because men wouldn't leave me alone. How is that fair?

Sorry xyfactor, I don't know the phrase "slot an agenda". Could you explain?

No. I'll say this slowly for you. Minority
is
Less
Than
Half.

Significant minority doesn't mean nearly all. It means a minority. But a significant one.

Are you saying that I do not have half a brain cell?

If so I will report you for a personal attack

To xy btw

I didn't say it was fair. I agree with you yellowcoat.

In response to the OP, the bumpers probably apologised to your DP to dampen the threat of your DP thumping him to defend your honour. This may be sexist but do a lot of women not look for 'a knight in shining armour'? I know some women who would complain if their man just shrugged it off without doing something so it was probably just to avoid a beating rather than apologising because you're like his pint.