to ask how you become organised and together? Seriously how??

[inatrance]

This is a question for any of you who used to be disorganised/flaky and are now organised and sorted. I have been like this for so long and I drive myself and everyone around me crackers. I'm unbelievably forgetful, I am late a lot and I'm rubbish with finances. I'm so fed up of cringing because I'm so bloody rubbish and make stupid mistakes all the time!

I've got an 8mth DS and a 10yo DD and while I've always had disorganised tendencies, since I had DS, it's gone from bad to ridiculous and I feel like I am constantly trying to catch up with myself.

I'm self employed (which is for the best as even I'd have sacked me by now) and have somehow managed to run my businesses haphazardly over the last ten years without fucking up too massively. Well, not often anyway...

Well, no more, I've had enough. I am using the New Year to kick me up the arse and I need your help.

If you used to be crap and are now brilliant and incredibly organised, please, please tell me how you did it. What changed in your mind and where the hell did you start?

.

I will be back to this thread later.

I have been having problems over the last couple of weeks. I came very close to a full-blown panic attack yesterday. I haven't felt this out of control for 20 years.

Clutter isn't really my problem, people actually tell me my house is tidy, it isn't tidy but at first glance you probably don't notice. My problem is procrastination which means that I don't do the little things and they turn into big problems. I don't do them because of brain fog. I feel I need a step by step instruction manual on picking up the phone and making a call. Very jittery at the moment because I have all the undone things swirling around my head, I start thinking about how to approach a task but then my "ideas" keep bouncing in and knocking the urgent stuff out of my head. I like it when I get the ideas because some of them are quite good but I could do with them staying away until I clear the backlog of undone stuff.

I'll post on here later for advice.

hazie I know how overwhelming that can feel :(

When I get like I find that writing everything down really helps, but just writing it down rather than trying to order it at first. If you've got a load of post it notes and a table or walk try writing down everything in your head on a separate post it note. Once you've got everything you can possibly think of on a note Only then try to group them in to tasks (and maybe put them on a to do list)

This helps me stop letting the big or more worrying things get in the way because I've written them down (usually several times by the end of the process) and then I can focus and actually do one of the smaller more practical tasks. I usually do this every couple of months or so.

It may help :)

I've read this thread with interest and what's emerged for me if this question: How do you get and keep organised if you simply don't have enough time in any one day to do even the smallest things?

I'ma single mum of 2 DCs, 2 cats and one dog, running a f/t business - witht he earning bit only done in school hrs. The rest of the time is doing domestic/ childcare/dog care stuff. My typical weekday runs from 5am till 9pm with no breaks at all and I crash out asleep from 9om every night.

Apart from getting less sleep than I need, I can't see how to manage things better. There isn't a single moment during my working week that isn't taken up with being busy already. I DO have about 10 to 15 minutes between 8.45am and 9.00am (often on MN then!) and about 35 mins between 6.00pm and 6.35pm but certainly the latter time is used to do top priority paperwork or stack/unstack dishwasher.

Meanwhile, the laundry - to do or to put away - stacks up daily; paperwork for the business I run goes into desperation level and the house remains very messy. have only just taken down the Xmas tree and put outside but all Xmas 'stuff' remains in the sitting room where I never get time to go.

There isn't a clear starting point to do the backlog of paperwork and domestic tasks as every day brings more stuff to do. I DO manage to get the absolute priority stuff done - eg spent 6 hrs a few days ago doing a year's full accounts and tax return online - but that was by not earning any money that day and paying for the dog to be looked after for the day too.

There is simply no 'give' in my life to add in anything else. Dishwasher gets stacked and unstacked every 2 to 3 days and kitchen surfaces wiped but otherwise usually in chaos. I also need to spend less money, so getting help isn't an option.

Who else has the same problem - ie not enough hrs in the day and constant demands on your time? How do you do it? Every morning, at 5am, I drag myself awake thinking, "I really can't do this day - or anymore!" and then I just get on with it. But there are now possibly hundreds of things undone from home maintenance and repairs to decluttering and mess to clear and absolutely no time at all to do it. Should I just give up sleep???

I think that people will tell you that the answer is to pay for help Solo, but I can understand that that is not really an option for everyone! I am a FT WOHM, my job requires me to work at home in the evenings too, so I know exactly how you feel. I am on mat leave at the moment so hoping that I can use some of this time, eg now with dd1 at nursery for a couple of hours and dd2 napping to get some stuff done, set systems in place etc. But once real life kicks in again I will not have this time.
Less sleep is normally the answer here sadly, I get dd to bed around 8pm, do some housework etc then sit down from around 9-11 to do my work - it is pretty hellish tbh as I am someone who really loves and needs my sleep. Now I am going to add a non-sleeping baby into the equation...aaargh!!
But if you had cash I would definitely pay for help, maybe a cleaner? Dog walker? etc

Question for HelenaGrace or anyone else. Does anyone know how much it costs for a professional organiser?

I need someone who can help me start a routine, and put systems in place, also advice on how to deal with obstacles that come up. I don't think I need to see anyone, online advice would be fine, in fact I think I would prefer it that way.

I do write things down but then I will look at my list and not know how to get started even though some of the things are quite simple.

Get off mumsnet/facebook/the internet! It is the biggest single timewaster ever.

This thread has motivated me ans scared me in equal measures

I have made a slow start organising my life but it has been slow!

So far I have:

• Given DD1 five jobs that are now her responsibility. They are empty the dishwasher, tidy her bedroom, empty the car, take the wheely bins to the end of the drive on bin day and her homework.

*I am trying to remember to never go anywhere empty handed, this does appear to be working.

*I get a veg box delivered every other Wednesday and have now started writting a meal plan for the following week, at the moment I am doing to meal plan every week but am thinking of doing it fortnightly when the box arrives.

*I have thrown out a carrier bag of broken toys and taken 3 carrier bags of used toys to the charity shop.

*I now take up the clean washing as soon as I can which has stopped pile of clothes forming all over the kitchen.

My plans now are to buy a Filofax so I can have my diary, meal planner and addresses all in the same place. I also want to create a rota for the house keeping tasks so I get in the habit of doing them regually.

Actually maybe I'm not doing as bad as I thought

I know grafit but I still manage to find other distractions. I just don't know where to start. I'm not normally this bad but I have been struggling the last month. I am so angry with myself for being so incompetent. I feel like I'm in a maze and I can't figure out the right way out.

Honestly, drop mumsnet. All the threads, the opinions, the arguments, it is stressful and can make foggy head/procrastination so much worse.

I'm still struggling but I have made some significant changes and recognise much more where the problems lie - i.e., clutter, being late and unprepared for everything and not regularly organising myself. Up until now, my energies have been more of a roller coaster and very erratic.

In the past 2 weeks I have:

Got straight in the shower and got changed first thing
Been on time for nearly every appointment
Cleared three cupboards
written a daily to do list - every day
bought dry wipe board pens and started using the damn thing again
bought a file for pending paperwork which has traditionally just sat on my kitchen table
changed the sheets/washed the towels on a certain day weekly
chucked out some toddler toys (my youngest is 9!)
Updated my filofax and written appointments in diary as they come in

It's exhausting! But pleasing

LotsofGoodFun, enjoy your Filofax. I love mine, it makes me dribble with pleasure (saddo)

grafit, so agree about MN. I am working on it

Ok Grafit. I will drop it apart from the threads that will enhance my life. I will only post on this one and the running one and I will only lurk on home routines and style & beauty etc. The tips on this thread are really helpful so I don't want to go cold turkey.

The Internet, MN and the appearance of an iPhone has pulled me to a stand still. I could have written most of your post Hazeldoll.

Time to get things in order. I disappoint myself on a daily basis. Lack of impetus to do anything. The foggy head? Oh yes. I know it.

bakelitebelle I looked for one yesterday but couldn't find one. I think I'm going to have to go into WHSmiths. I am actually really excited (another saddo)

I have just thought of another thing I have been doing for a while. On work days (I work 3 days a week) I get all mine and the younger 2 DDs clothes ready the night before. This help hugely as it would take for ever to get ready and I already get to work later than I would like. I have now started doing this everyday.

I have also started making the DDs packed lunches for the next day when I'm doing the evening meal even if they will be eating it at home. DD2 and DD3 are at nursery and are given loads to eat (breakfast, snack, lunch with pudding, tea and another snack so hardly eat at home those days.

Does anybody have tips for dealing with a 17 month old who seems to follow me around getting out everything I have just pit away?!?!

To begin with Foofy I thought the iPhone would transform my life and turn me into an organised superstar and if used properly it could aid that process. It's now the big bad wolf, everytime I hear that ping I panic that it's someone chasing me. Perhaps that's a good thing I don't want to bury my head in the sand and be thought of as an unreliable person.

I downloaded the HomeRoutines app on Saturday and have been using it. It is very helpful.
PROViDING you don't then think "well I'm on here now I'll just have a peep at MN or FB or something else." I don't have the alerts on so that I'm not running to it every time it beeps and it turns out someone posted on FB or Twitter. That would drive me mad.

Lotsofgoodfun - I got a Filofax in Home Sense for 19.99 which is £65 on the Filofax website. TKMaxx may have them too.

Solo things sound really tough. I do think [hope] though, that there must be some changes that could be made to make things a little easier.

Would you consider starting a thread aimed specifically at ways to help your situation? That way hopefully the genius of mumsnet might be able to suggest a few small changes that could be made, which in turn could make a big difference to you.

This is an amazing thread but I think situations such as yours which need sort of dissecting and really thinking about might get a bit lost.

Wolfcub, There is a great blog plannerisms.com which has a detailed review of both those planners.

Solo, presumably if there really are not enough hours in the day, you have to outsource something. Once every two weeks, I spend £20 on a cleaner. My stress is having a severely disabled teenager who cannot be left alone for a minute, who does not sleep and who does not let me do anything for more than 15 minutes at a time. Some situations are not manageable, it's just deciding what has to go

Solo2

Good to hear you. It sounds like you're still struggling...how's Rollo?

Agree you should start a new thread, although the trouble with mn is that it does eat up time...

ciderwithbudda thanks unfortunately I don't think there is a Home sense where I live (West Country) but I will try TK Maxx. I have looked online and there seem to be lots of sales but I want to see them properly before I pick so I get the right one (hopefully!)

Haziedoll have PMd you. The quick answer is anything between £20 and £50 per hour.

Solo it sounds as though you could do with a few hours of flexible help. Do you think it would be possible to find someone who could maybe do a bit of work on your business or do something at home for you - maybe varying each week, depending on what you need that week?

You might also want to work out how much it cost you to do your own tax return. If you lost a whole day's work and it would cost you £60 to pay your accountant to do it then it might be worth outsourcing it. Often we underestimate the cost of our own time. Another idea would be a virtual assistant. I have one who does bits and pieces of admin for me as and when I need her to. She's faster than me at some admin jobs and I only pay for the time I use her. She's based miles from me but it works. PM me if you want her details.

lots of good fun have you tried giving your toddler a dustpan and brush or a feather duster? It worked with mine!

LeQueen is very organised - she posted about this on another thread, but I've mislaid it!