to ask how you become organised and together? Seriously how??

[inatrance]

This is a question for any of you who used to be disorganised/flaky and are now organised and sorted. I have been like this for so long and I drive myself and everyone around me crackers. I'm unbelievably forgetful, I am late a lot and I'm rubbish with finances. I'm so fed up of cringing because I'm so bloody rubbish and make stupid mistakes all the time!

I've got an 8mth DS and a 10yo DD and while I've always had disorganised tendencies, since I had DS, it's gone from bad to ridiculous and I feel like I am constantly trying to catch up with myself.

I'm self employed (which is for the best as even I'd have sacked me by now) and have somehow managed to run my businesses haphazardly over the last ten years without fucking up too massively. Well, not often anyway...

Well, no more, I've had enough. I am using the New Year to kick me up the arse and I need your help.

If you used to be crap and are now brilliant and incredibly organised, please, please tell me how you did it. What changed in your mind and where the hell did you start?

I've only started getting somewhere with being organised in the last couple of years since having two calendars - one by my desk, and one on a pin board I have next to the kitchen. I write down birthdays and term dates soon as I get the calendar, and also bin/recycling days, pay days, and days bills are due go on it straight away.

Appointments go on soon as they are made and I check it each day while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil.

I also make a point of crossing off each day with a big fat line so that I know where I am

The calendar by my desk is just a small one and I write the initials of things happening on it, eg rent due would be R, child benefit going into my account marked as CB, Doctors appointment DR, birthday as BD - then the actual 'thing' that is happening is written properly on the big kitchen calendar. This is because I sit at my desk a lot, so see it a lot and can depend on it to make me look at the bigger calendar and see whatever it is happening that day just in case I've been side tracked in the morning and not looked.

Post I deal with soon as it arrives and bin/recycle the junk and put anything important in my in tray which then gets looked through and sorted and filed away twice a week ish.

DD is responsible for her own organisation, with some pointers from me along the way about keeping tidy, and working out when she needs to be studying or doing homework and when she will have free time.

I also try and make time count for double so if I need to nip into town to buy a gift or post a card and know i will be running out of allergy meds, something else needs paying/posting/picking up/paying into my bank etc, I get everything done in one trip

If I'm going into the kitchen/bedroom/bathroom I take something with me that also needs to go there, cups into kitchen, DDs bloody hair bobbles back upstairs etc

I load the dishwasher and feed the cats while waiting for toast to pop up or kettle boiling

Hoover or quickly clean kitchen while I'm running a bath

Shove something for dinner in the slow cooker while making lunch or packed lunches

I shop online because it saves me tons of money and time

If I have a week or a day with an unusual lot of daunting tasks, or a lot to remember I make a list and keep it on my desk crossing off as I go

cripes I had no idea I actually did all this til I wrote it down!

Wow there is some amazing advice here but now I feel totally overwhelmed! I am chronically forgetful too and my problem is that I forget to look at the lists I've created! No planning ahead so always flying by the seat of my pants which I hate. I've tried various systems but I can't remember to sit down every Sunday night to plan - I don't know how to get myself to remember. How do you do that Helenagrace?

It's like my brain is fogged and I am so tired all the time which doesn't help. Watching this thread in anticipation of some ideas that feel doable to me!

I use my phone to set reminders all the time. I also have a day to a page diary and put personal appointments in it. So every Sunday I have written PLANNING at the top of the page.

For one client I created morning and evening lists and a job of the day list and laminated them. She put them on a noticeboard by the kettle until they were ingrained in her new routine. She figured that she'd see them regularly if they were near the kettle so she moved the kettle nearer the board!

If you try a new routine keep a notebook somewhere and note down how you feel about it and what is and isn't working. Then you can think about changing it to suit you better. The best system is the one which is tailored to you and the way you work.

Xanthum don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you have some sleep issues so be kind to yourself.

If you were my client I'd be working with you to identify just one change at a time. So think about one change that you'd like to make and work at that until you feel that the change has been made. I'd advise you to choose a small change to give you a quick win if you feel overwhelmed OR one big change that you feel will give you big rewards but only IF you feel you have the energy to do it.

Big yes to knowing the place that you will see and take note of your list or calendar most often.

All my various reminders are on or near my desk which I work at every day, and on the way to the kettle which also sees me frequently

Great thread!

LeQueen - you sound like the least lazy person EVER!

I'm really glad this thread has cropped up as I am going out today specifically to get a diary so I can write things down to be done!

My intentions are to write daily/weekly/monthly tasks down. Things like, dust the blinds - which I only do when I notice I can't see outside. I'm pretty good with appointments, and have actually got better since having children as I have to factor in the time warp that is getting young children ready for anything.

I'm off work now on maternity leave so it seems a good opportunity to really get my arse in gear.

Hundreds and hundreds of lists!

I have an absolute pile of notebooks. One is my accounting notebook for my and DP's finances where I have his account in the front and mine in the back and I list all outgoings, all incoming monies and any bills to be paid for each one (I also keep every single receipt and so does DP, so I know exactly how much is in my account and I know when something doesn't add up), one is for personal use for things like weight loss, one has all of my basic lists such as Housework Timetable, Things To Take To My Mums, Passwords For Websites and The Basic Shopping List Of Essentials, one is my Christmas notebook that contains present ideas, finances that I've set aside for Christmas, lists of discount codes and websites I like to use, and then I've got my To Do Notebook which has about a million things that I haven't yet gotten around to doing such as "Clean Out Garage", "Go To Tip", "Sort Out Clothes To Go To Charity" and "Put All DVDs Back In Correct Cases".

I probably spend half my life making lists, crossing things off, annotating my calendar and wall-planner and day-planner. I also have an iPhone with a "Reminders" section that is absolute heaven on earth, a whiteboard in my bedroom with a more detailed housework chart and a corkboard in the kitchen that's sorted into sections such as "Bills", "Birthdays", "Appointments" and "URGENT!" so I can check it every single morning.

I'm a bit anal, aren't I?!

Diary - I have a blackberry and I "invite" DH to all appointments that affect him (even if he's not coming with but is babysitting) so he has it all in his diary too. I put everything in the diary.

Inbox - all bills are on direct debit. All letters get opened and put into an inbox. Once a month (this is diarised) DH and I go through the box and file everything and send off cheques as applicable. Everything gets files into lever arch files (car / insurance / credit card / bank / tax etc)

Charity shop - about once every 6 months go through stuff, put too small clothes for DC to charity shop / attic, bin all cheap tat toys they got given etc.

Some of you have given amazing advice on here. I'm determined to make improvements in my household management this year. Second baby due in June and I can't go on like I have been doing. Was actually dreading coming back after week away for Christmas as the house always seems a tip and although I always feel like I'm being busy, I never get on top of it.

So, systems are required! I'm only going to MN while having a coffee break or in the bath. Banning myself at all other times. DH has new diary on his shopping list. I have 6 hours on Friday while dd at CM to blitz paperwork and start system. Until then I'll try to get on top of the clutter and mess.

Thanks for this useful and inspiring thread.

I'm organised (in terms of remembering appointments, birthdays etc) but naturally untidy, so I need systems to keep me in check.

You mentioned important documents - I have a clear plastic labelled folder for;
Me, DH, DD, House, Cars, Caravan and try to make sure all really important documents go in the right folder, things like birth certificates, passports, house insurance etc.

They are all kept together in a drawer in the spare room, so in theory there should be no hunting around when the car needs taxing etc and if we ever needed to evacuate I'd be able to grab the folders, my jewellery box, dd and the dog (not necessarily in that order) and run.

I became organised through circumstances.
It took me years to realise that if I didnt do the housework etc it wouldnt get done. I dont mean that OH doesnt do anything, I mean that I thought the housework fairies would come and do it
I also used to buy new things instead of sorting stuff out.
I bought a lot of second hand because I was so skint and couldnt pass up on a winter coat even if I had to keep it for 3 years till it would fit the DCs.

Then we got DS2 who arrived out of the blue from the Family Courts and my house became full of social workers and HVs and physios and other professionals. He had tons of appointments and we had tons of meetings.
The working class chip kicked in like a bugger and 'no one is going to tell me my house is dirty' made me into a cleaning demon.

Then DD got very sick. Added to all DS's appointments came DD's appoitments and visits and hospital stays.

DD needed the house clean to keep her well (alive, I thought) and DS had terrible atopic eczema so couldnt cope with any dust.

I was a bit mad.

I channelled this madness and anxiety into organisation and housework. EVERTYTHING was writtend down in a diary and on the wallplanner
NOTHING was left till tomorrow. If something needed doing I did it THEN because the chances were I would be in the middle of some emergency the next day.

I wouldnt recommend the above as a way of being organised but it certainly changed me. I am no longer as mad but I am 100 x more organised than I was pre DS and DD's illness.

DONT procrastinate by re writing lists of things to do - just do ONE sensible one. DONT be tempted to add 'wishes' to it.
Keep a page per day diary
Have a wall planner
Dont put stuff off. Five minutes a day sorting will make a HUGE difference.
Just get started - whatever you do to tackle the chaos IS worth it.

(the above was probably longer and more detailed than it needed to be )

Loving all the ideas on here, thank you!

I don't think you need to try and go from pretty chaotic to super organised in 1 jump. But a few things would make a difference if you tackled them.

1. Write down all important meetings/visits phone calls you have to make somewhere easy - in phone, wall calendar in kitchen - whatever would be easiest for you. Then check it 1st thing every single morning for that day and just after lunch. You won't always remember at first, but keep trying to do this and it will become 2nd nature like remembering to brush your teeth. But you need to do at same point every day as part of a routine. e.g. after you put kettle on for 1st cup of tea, or after you get dcs dressed - whatever works for you.

1. When meeting people/going to appointments you need to plan. So if you are visiting someone you need to know how long do you need to get ready to go out, how long to get there, etc. And then add on some extra time. IME people who are always late always underestimate the amount of time it takes to get ready and out and then to get somewhere by. So if meeting friend for coffee at 12pm you may need 50 mins to get you and dc ready and out the door, 15 mins walk and then add on an extra 20 mins. So you should start getting ready to go out at 10.35am - any later and you are already late.

You may find it easier to break it down further e.g. by 11am all bags and buggy packed with what I need. By 11.25am dcs with coats and shoes on, 11.35 am i have my coat and shoes on, 5 mins to get physically out the door - 15 mins walk with 5 mins in case time.

1. Get all bills including credit cards, etc paid on dd - as long as you can afford to do this in terms of cashflow. It makes a big difference. Work out with bills going out how much money you actually have to spend on food and incidentals every week. Then take that out in cash for the week. Then don't use cards, just spend the cash. It is much easier to manage money if you can physically see how much cash you have left for the week in your purse. Just make sure you leave a bit in your account to pay for bigger purchases as they come up.

I used to be bad with bills - dd makes a big difference and with being late. Once you get used to planning for being on time it does eventually become second nature.

This thread is so inspiring! Does anyone have a good list system? I tend to brain dump into one list, but some items are long term such as sort out utility room cupboards and then they just get forgotten?

For a list system I do a page per subject, and for anything more complicated, a second section in a note book, page per subject, eg. I'm about to start doing up a house so I have a page for emails/calls, page for the plumber with various options on, times, dates, work needed etc, page for the builder (he has a whole book!), page for insurance company and so on! So on my main list it will say sort plumber and then I look into the other section and see where I'm up to/what needs doing.

I agree with LeQueen! Make your list entries more specific. Name a shelf or cupboard specifically. So "rationalise baking tins" is a better goal than "sort out the cupboard in the utility room".

Use the pomodoro technique and work for a set number of minutes then stop and reward yourself with a cup of tea or a treat.

Brilliant brilliant thread. I 'run' the house, and do a full time PhD as well as look after a toddler and we're thinking of extending our family. Therefore I need systems in place!

I do wish I could get up a bit before the family each day, but toddler wakes when I do! I have a GP appointment tomorrow to have a blood test for my continuing exhaustion. I also find taking supplements improves my energy levels. But that's a whole other thread!