to ask how you become organised and together? Seriously how??

[inatrance]

This is a question for any of you who used to be disorganised/flaky and are now organised and sorted. I have been like this for so long and I drive myself and everyone around me crackers. I'm unbelievably forgetful, I am late a lot and I'm rubbish with finances. I'm so fed up of cringing because I'm so bloody rubbish and make stupid mistakes all the time!

I've got an 8mth DS and a 10yo DD and while I've always had disorganised tendencies, since I had DS, it's gone from bad to ridiculous and I feel like I am constantly trying to catch up with myself.

I'm self employed (which is for the best as even I'd have sacked me by now) and have somehow managed to run my businesses haphazardly over the last ten years without fucking up too massively. Well, not often anyway...

Well, no more, I've had enough. I am using the New Year to kick me up the arse and I need your help.

If you used to be crap and are now brilliant and incredibly organised, please, please tell me how you did it. What changed in your mind and where the hell did you start?

Right, it has taken me all week but I have finished reading every post and can't believe no-one has recommended this yet. It is THE book for people like me who are natural born flakes with the urge to live a life less chaotic. I used to be a librarian by day, slutty flake by night and couldn't understand why someone who organised for a living and loved systems to an unhealthy degree at work simply could not stay on top of housework/ birthdays/ bills, etc. This book explained it (duh - because I am not at home to work I am at home to enjoy myself and there are ALWAYS things I would enjoy more than housework: if I wait for the urge to do all the dull stuff... it will never come.) It also gave a really simple and effective strategy for tackling that without undergoing a complete personality change. The book is dated and a little twee and very American: it is also brilliant and has transformed my life. Plus the Flylady likes it - need I say more? If you are naturally organised don't even waste time following the link - it is definitely only aimed at the terminally chaotic (me!).

Aside from the book I have found the following three things helpful in my slow transformation from flake to hot-ish-shot home manager.

1. baskets on the stairs labelled for each member of the household with an extra one for misc. My eldest has the daily chore of taking them all upstairs when he finishes his homework and when I run their bath I quickly tidy away the baby's, mine and the misc one. DS1 and DH do their own. Everything that is downstairs and shouldn't be gets popped in the relevant basket during the day, as does folded laundry, etc and I can relax about it knowing it will get put away later.
2. Link things you want to work on daily to things you already do daily. I realised I felt drudgy because most days I got sidetracked before I even put my makeup on and never got round to it. I now have magnets stuck to my makeup and brushes and a mirror and they are all on the door of the fridge. I have to give the kids breakfast - that's a given - doing that is now my trigger to quickly pop on my face while I get the milk out the fridge. Every time I catch my reflection now it makes me feel a tiny bit more on top of life. Likewise, while I bath the kids I do a bit of cleaning in the bathroom. Le Queen et al look away now... I use the facecloth and keep a trigger spray behind the loo. Quick swipe, cloth into the laundry and fresh one out. That way I have a clean bathroom without trying AND I no longer have a disgusting, festering flannel that's been there since the last time we had visitors. 3)Accept and respect who you are: you are the boss in your home so there is no-one else you have to impress. Decide what your own personal standards are for your home and make them happen in the way that works for you. It's not a contest.

Longer than it was meant to be - sorry!

Another thing that worked for me (and I was going to suggest it to my family before things went pear shaped and I filed for divorce) was to think of the house as a hotel, a nice relaxed hotel, where we were both guests and staff. So if I am in the bath I'm being a guest, and I don't bother clearing up after me if I don't feel like it. At other times I'm in chambermaid mode, clearing up after a guest (me). A development from the Spanish maid pretense I posted earlier, (was that under a different name?) only even better - the chambermaid can complain about the guest, and the guest can complain about the chambermaid!

Have now outed myself as utterly barking

i highly recommend the advice of yvette langmaid buttery, of yvettewrites.com fame. people always comment on how well organised I am.. have never before given yvette the credit! she e-mails free daily tips and her advice is very sensible, accessible and geared towards mothers.

Pink mad but marvellous!

Off to look up yvettewrites now.

I have only just found this thread thanks to someone pointing me in the right direction after I started a similar thread.

I want to become more organised and time efficient so I'm glad I have found it!
I need to come back and read through some of the replies in a bit so I thought I would BUMP.

I have been finding this thread very useful, I have bought a day-to-a-page diary, and I have managed to do two things that have been hanging over me for a few weeks. I think it will be slow for me, but we are moving soon and I am really going to find a place for everything and keep it in its place! I am really going to buy storage and create storage and keep things put away. I love the tips about clearing up toys with LO's before the go to bed, can't wait to start that up when my dd is a bit older. I also like the tips about birthday cards etc. I want to start a system of buying cards and having them to hand. Or even better making my own. I try all year to stay in regular contact with friends over-sea's and will try and get better at this. Thanks everyone :)

Iheartpasties I think things are slow with kids when sorting out,as it requires a lot of focus.I find there's not a lot of time - much less useful thinking,brain engaged time!

I have a stationery box with all bits of writing paper/envelopes/notelets etc in it as well as spare "occasions" cards.I've found it doesn't pay to get cheap notelets but its worth getting a stash of expensive stuff when reduced and having a place to keep them nice.

I am also a big fan of tidy-up time before bed or else its oh so easy to just collapse on the settee and ignore it.I agree that its not that productive when they're very young but its worth sowing the seed.Mine,at school age,whizz round and know all the various storage boxes for things.They are honestly every bit as effective at it as me.At weekends we'll also do tidy-up when the front room gets "assault-courseish".I'm now working on them not using the floor as a massive rubbish bin in between tidy-ups .

Today I am going to create some files for current stuff.My paperwork pile is by-and-large sorted now,but I still have a pile of bits "to deal with" (not always got the money there and then to fill in,for eg,a school trip form and return immediately).So I'm having a current "to action" section I can put away,rather than it sitting in a pile where the kids can knock it down the back of something.

I have a "destination station" by the door where I have a shelf (for hats gloves etc in pretty baskets),hooks for coats,and lower hooks for school bags.Under,on the floor,are the school shoes.When they were babies I always had a "bag to go" - restocked when I got home.That way you can always get out quick for a last minute Dr's appointment,or something.I keep bus timetables in its own section and a list on a corkboard fixed inside a kitchen cupboard door with most used phone numbers.

I still feel disorganised ,but,to be fair,I would have ground to a standstill if it wasn't for long standing organisation techniques that I really forget I have as they're so second nature!

I'm so motivated by this thread that today I'm off to get a second hand filing cabinet for £20. This means i have to sort out garage to store it in!

Other habits and systems I swear by are:

*pay as much as poss by Direct Debit paid out on most suitable day if its a moveable one.Keep a master list of amounts,where to,and date paid with your bank stuff to refer to when working out what you've got to spend.Update as necessary.

*clip receipts/instruction books/warranties together and file together.

*write birthdays on calendar with the age in a circle next to it.

*have a "takeaway menu file".As you get the current one,chuck the old one.

*have a bit of paper and a pen on a string on inside of the kitchen cupboard corkboard for shopping needed.I think corkboards on the wall can look really untidy,if you're not careful.

*near the first aid kit I have a first aid book and any emergency numbers.I also have an easily avaliable sheet of paper listing any info (eg allergies) that I may be asked and I may not be able to think of clearly in a panic.

*whenever a utility bill comes in check the meter if its not been read.

*keep a written note of any phone calls or incidents that you have a gut feeling may be needed to refer to,so you remember the details while its clear.Note person spoke to,and time of call or conversation.

When you go to kids parties you enjoy,take a card,and store in your "activities" file......

Started a daily list the other day but it's barely been done... I seem to swing wildly between different states when reading threads like this. Sometimes all inspired and wanting to do all of the things, and then other times (like today ) wanting to cry and thinking I could never do this...

Helenagrace you mentioned that it is your job to help people get organised, I had no idea that something like this existed! What would I google to find someone like you in my local area?

Always have spare lightbulbs and batteries of various types,a torch by the trip box,and an easy to lay your hands on "power cut box" if you get a lot of power cuts.Include candles,matches,wind up stuff etc....

And a deck of cards countess

Nah,I can never remember any rules Flisspaps! Hungry Hippos for me!!!

Actually despite me feeling totally disorganised and cluttered I think I have more habits in place than I originally thought like you countess .

I read the meter on the same day each month, with a reminder on my iPod, then upload them. That way I know my readings are accurate.

Bertie there's a website called apdo which you can use. Not all professional organisers will be on it so it's worth googling that as well. I'm not on it because I don't just declutter individuals. I do businesses as well. I use coaching techniques (I'm also a business coach) to help identify and plan changes in lifestyle so the changes are permanent. I help people establish habits and routines that change their lives. I also coach people who want to career change or find a new job.

I am based in the north west but I have clients all over the place. For physical decluttering you need to be onsite but for most other things phone calls and email support work really well.

PM me if you want help to find someone in your area. I may have a contact.

What an excellent thread. I am one of those that is terribly badly organised. But I am 'good' at being organised with my DD's things. I suppose because it's important to me that she doesn't suffer from me being a clot.

Something I have started to do and feel happier for it is dividing my to do list into headings - 6 of them with 'life goals' as headings for 5 of them and 'other' for the last one. The key is to keep other as small as possible. So my headings are 1. efficient home (housework, bills etc.), 2. Be a good mother (mostly things to do with school, organising activities etc.) 3. Educate myself (I'm doing a course so anything to do with that goes here) 4. Fitness (meal plans and exercise) 5. Have good relationships (anything to do with organising things with friends / birthday presents etc.) and 6. other. I find it more inspiring to do it this way because I can see the point of what I'm doing instead of feeling like I'm treading water the whole time.

Those of you that asked for the word document have mail

Does anyone know if Home Routines is available for Blackberry ?

Updating to say that I'm continuing to use my big organiser diary and daily to-do lists each day, and at the weekend we bought a second-hand 4-drawer filing cabinet!

We've put it in our living room (as it's not an ugly one) and have been bringing in boxes full of paperwork and important stuff all yesterday and dumping it on the floor. For 30 minute chunks of time I've been sitting on the floor, organising it all into categories and filing it away in its new home.

When I've NOT been working on it, each time I've walked past the boxes of stuff, I've picked something up and filed it or thrown it out. I've done it this way so it doesn't seem like such an enormous overwhelming task, and it's working. Granted, I DO have a massive pile of papers and boxes in the middle of my living room floor, but it's getting smaller and smaller

Top drawer is household stuff, one is for DH's business, one is for my business and one is for DC's school books and papers.

My DC said last night that she is glad I'm finally getting myself organised, she likes the house to be tidy despite being messiest child on earth

Does anyone have any feedback on the Collins work and home diary or the women's success planner?

Wolfcub, I am using the Collins work & home diary, and I love it! The only disadvantage is that it's quite big and clunky, but I love the way it has plenty of space for "to do" items in different areas of my life - so I can keep work tasks, family tasks and personal tasks separate but all recorded in the same place iyswim. There are sections for annual goals & monthly goals in each area as well, and I'm finding that having the separate goals and to do lists helps me to keep a better balance in my life. Each daily page also has plenty of space for appointments, a section for reminders and even a section for tasks that it would be nice to accomplish if possible!

It is heavy to carry around, and I have had to switch to a larger handbag to accommodate it, but for me, it's proving worthwhile and I haven't been out without it!

I haven't posted on this thread ( nothing of worth to contribute ) but wanted to say , whoever suggested the Homeroutines app, I love you! It's an excellent start to turning things around. Am going to read this thread properly when I have the chance.

I wanted to buy the work and home diary, but it was SOOO expensive (I am also on the "spend nothing in January thread"). So I have made mysefl a similar "page" on publisher, and have printed out and am using that. It is working well so far!