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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the worst?

96 replies

holstenlips · 31/12/2011 01:05

Had op lump removed ten days ago. Called today to go to hosp next week. Wouldn't tell me why. It can only be one thing right?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 31/12/2011 01:46

Sounds like you are going to have a busy and fun day :) .. no doubt with a 4yo there will be plenty to keep you occupied for the next few days.

Original poster
holstenlips · 31/12/2011 01:49

Yep, should be fun. Thanks squeaky.

OP posts:
Heleninahandcart · 31/12/2011 02:16

OP could it be a post op follow up Checking you've healed ok?

If you're very worried call up and ask to speak to the breast nurse. She'll be able to check your notes and talk to you. Btw they can tell you bad news on the phone if necessary so please don't assume anything. As you have no idea what they might say and everyone's version of things is unique, I would stay away from googling stuff, you will be drawn to the worst scenarios and it's not encouraging.

Original poster
holstenlips · 31/12/2011 02:35

Thanks Helena, I did wonder about calling them back and asking what its about, they caught me unawares as I wasn't expecting a call so I just didn't ask anything! Must try to sleep now thanks all for replies. X

OP posts:
sunnydelight · 31/12/2011 03:20

I wouldn't wait and worry all week tbh. Can you call when they're open again, tell them how worried you are and see if there is either someone who can talk to you on the phone or if it's possible to be seen earlier? Sometimes tests aren't conclusive and they have to be re-done which is a common reason to be called back - good luck and let us know the outcome.

carabos · 31/12/2011 10:16

It may be nothing more than a phone call to let you know the dare of your appointment, not necessarily that there's anything to worry about iyswim.
I had an MRI scan the week before Xmas (broken wrist) and they phoned me the other day asking me to come back for first available consultant appointment 3 Jan. The appointments chap said they were ringing simply because with the Xmas post they thought I wouldn't get the letter in time.
Best of luck and don't google!

Original poster
holstenlips · 31/12/2011 15:48

Thanks for encouragement, I feel terrible today lack of sleep etc Hosp consultant secretary not available til Tuesday at earliest, by which time it will nearly b my appointment day! Urgh what a nightmare.

OP posts:
Original poster
holstenlips · 01/01/2012 16:47

I'mstill thinking the worst but feeling a bit better in myself. I think I need to call the hosp on Tuesday and ask them if I should take someone with me to the appt..that should give me a clue! I'm driving myself mad with all the possibilties.

OP posts:
bagelmonkey · 01/01/2012 18:40

I think in many ways the waiting & nit knowing can be worse than actually getting bad news. Even though it could be good or bad, it's hard to remember that and the negatives always seem to predominate. It must be a really tough time for you.

Original poster
holstenlips · 01/01/2012 19:11

cheers bagel, yep i am not being very patient! i feel in my heart that i know what they are going to say but it is def the waiting that is worse. i want friday to hurry up! and i move house on saturday aargh!

OP posts:
Ireallyneedanewname · 02/01/2012 10:36

My diss works as a hospital receptionist and they can even give out good news over the phone so there is an equal chance it is good news!

Original poster
holstenlips · 03/01/2012 00:05

Thank you for being positive for me! However, I am still obsessing and I don't tgink iabu in thinking the worst as I found my discharge letter from the hosp which states : histology; results to be discussed in multi discipline team meeting and follow up accordingly. As they usually only want me every 6 months then I must need more surgery. I'm ok with that. I just want them to tell me. And hopefully ianbu!

OP posts:
yellowraincoat · 03/01/2012 00:08

Hope it all goes well for you holsten, know this must be a difficult time for you.

SecretMinceRinser · 03/01/2012 00:26

It could be that they haven't got enough of what they wanted or the sample has been lost.
DD had cells taken from a lump in her neck and we were called back for unspecified reasons. I was sick with worry and it turned out they lost the sample. She is fine. They should always give you a brief explanation over the phone imo even if they can't give detail. I hope it's nothing to worry about.

Original poster
holstenlips · 03/01/2012 12:40

Thanks everyone, i am prob being very very paranoid over nothing! Will have to wait.

OP posts:
Heleninahandcart · 03/01/2012 12:57

Have PMd you. Positive news btw!

Original poster
holstenlips · 07/01/2012 21:46

In case anyone wanted an update, i am fine, glad the wait is over. Unfortunately, I do have cancer, early stage tho which is good and I now have a treatment plan and an amazing doctor! I feel better now that I know. The hard bit now is how to tell people, especially my parents. Any ideas?

OP posts:
cookcleanerchaufferetc · 07/01/2012 21:52

What a shock for you! No ideas about telling people but you seem pretty positive so that will help your family when you share the news. Wishing you all the best?

ThefutureMrsX · 07/01/2012 22:01

Hi holsten

Sorry to hear your news. I'm very glad that it has been caught early & they know what they're doing by the sounds of it.

In terms of telling people - I think it depends on the response you want, to be honest. Personally I hate a fuss about being ill so if it were me I'd want to tell them straight down the line, this is the situation but it's ok, this is the treatment I'll be having, it's no big deal, just thought you should know.

If you want to be entirely enveloped in sympathy with people falling all over to help you out (as is entirely your perogative) then you know what to do!!

Good luck - both with telling people and with your treatment. I hope it's not too gruelling, you don't half sound like a fighter though!

Shutupanddrive · 07/01/2012 22:10

Oh no, sorry to hear your news. Please tell everyone so you can get the support you need, and remember to post on here whenever you need a rant/cry/anything else. I can't imagine what your going through

BadNails · 07/01/2012 22:11

Hello holsten, sorry to hear your news, but pleased to hear the cancer is in an early stage. I can't advise you on how to tell your family, but when my mum told me she had cancer, she just came straight out with it followed by what was going to be happening regarding treatment etc. It preempted my barrage of questions and eased some (but not all of course!) of my concerns.

Wishing you all the best.

Original poster
holstenlips · 07/01/2012 22:19

Hey thanks, u know what? I'm actually ok, its everyone else I'm worried about! I have told my sisters, some close friends, and XP. Some have cried. I haven't. But I did last week when I was full of fear! My parents are 5 hours away and getting on a bit , also my mum is rather dramatic, which is making me hesitate to tell them. Oh, I told my son (18) and obv I'm worried about him but have reassured him. Life goes on now, we will get through this. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet and when I have to go to work monday it will hit me! I really don't want to.upset people by telling them.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 07/01/2012 22:27

So sorry to hear this, holstenlips. If you have breast cancer the Breast Cancer Care forum is amazing. Wishing you the very best of luck in your recovery.

youarekidding · 07/01/2012 22:33

Sod everyone else! You need them right now not the other way round!

I am supporting my friend atm who's mum had/has breast cancer. Also caught early stages and had lumpectomy, she is having chemo/ radio as a course of treatment although cancer has all been removed.

She is also positive like you and my friend needs support, but she gets that from me so she can support her mum. Hopefully your friends/family will and can do the same.

Hope your treatment goes well.

Kayano · 07/01/2012 22:36

Sorry op Sad

At least they have got it early and I wish you all the best x

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