about my meal plans for New Year's Day?

[roastparsnipsandbrusselsprouts]

My dparents hosted Christmas and I had them over to ours for Boxing Day.

I have also invited them to ours for New Year's Day and have invited my dbrother as well as the rest of his family will be abroad.

It was agreed, months ago, that I would cook a traditional Scottish dish (Stovies for those who know what that is) for the meal and keep it all fairly relaxed and informal.

The difficulty is that the dcs and I are vegetarians and I am planning to cook vegetarian stovies. I didn't think this was an issue as Stovies is basically potatoes and onions and beef/veggie equivalent cooked down to a mush served with oatcakes and beetroot. I doubt you could discern the difference between a veggie one and a beef one.

On Christmas day dmum suggested she make beef stovies and bring them along on New Year's Day but I politely declined, pointing out how little difference there was in a veggie/meat version.

Today she has insisted that she cook a meat one. When I tried again to decline her offer she pushed it further saying dbrother rarely got Stovies and he would want them to be nice.

I am struggling with other issues just now and this was the last straw. I pointed out to her that she was basically cooking her own meal to eat at mine because mine would be rubbish and then burst into tears. She didn't deny that mine would be rubbish or apologise for upsetting me or anything. She just left it.

AIBU to be offended? If I was invited to someone else's house and they were serving a meal that didn't offend my principles in any way I would just eat it, even if it wasn't served exactly the way I was used to it being done. My own Mother has brought me up to behave this way.

I loathe having meat in the house (it makes me wretch and the smell of it makes it difficult for me to eat).

You come from a meat eating family, so how did you cope as a child with such a problem?

manatee I think you are right. I think the stovies were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

We have vegetarians in our family and would not dream of bringing meat to their house to eat. YANBU.

I had stovies last night. But made mine with sausages as my dad makes the best ones with beef.

However, you are veggie and your mum did provide you with a veggie option for you instead of making you have to go with the meat option. Maybe your brother has said oh no I want mum's stovies and that's what he wants.

I sometimes used quorn sausage when I was on slimming world 100% but they weren't the same

Talk to your mom. You say that you guys have a good relationship and you're shocked that she would be so hurtful - so tell her. If she's anything like my mom she probably breezed through you crying over stovies because she realised it was actually about something else and was waiting for you to tell her about it. As you didn't she probably thought that you didn't want to talk about what was actually the matter.

Ugh, meat-substitute stovies sound vile, sorry :( Id be gutted to be served that! I usually love veggie meals too.

Stovies recipe.

It's ok, I get the message. The veggie stovies are gross to anyone except my dh and dcs who love them. That is fine. We will love ours, dmum can bring everyone elses. I will put a smile on it.

Euphemia that link actually mentions Alan Cummings veggie stovies recipe

Drink plenty of wine roastparsnips.
Have a good day and hiccup at them.....

I best stay off the wine the way things are. I will still love them though and love having them round.

Hope things cheer up.

Thank you, so do I. Happy New Year

For goodness sake, nobody is saying your stovies are gross. We are just trying to point out that a meateater is probably going to prefer a meat version of a meat-orientated dish. It would be the equivalent of someone trying to get you to eat a vegan version of something that has lots of cheese in.

You really need to get that chip off your shoulder

To be fair, I think she gets the message.

I don't think she does, she still seems to have the hump and be taking it personally

Aw OP don't take it to heart, you sound upset. Let your mum bring her stovies, you have your stovies and enjoy your day with all your family.

I don't know what's being going on for you but if you've had a shitty year then look at New Years Day as the start of a better year. 2010 was absolutely the worst year of my life (lost both my parents, my dcousin and one of my children had a chronic diagnosis that would change the way we live). Life is shit sometimes, so I sat and wrote a list of all the bad things that had happened and burnt it. I then wrote a list of all the good things and stuck it on my fridge. I probably sound like a loon but it did help me and though it's still one day at a time, things have got better and I'm sure they will for you.

I think the key is to try to view others on equal terms to you. You find meat eating gross, and yes, others may find some of the things you eat gross. As an adult you respect other people's views and live and let live. My vegan mate eats a few things which to me look truly disgusting. I also find meat substitutes gross. But I wouldn't judge those who eat them.

I think if your house is a non-meat house then the vegetarian stovies should be what is served.
If you didn't mind meat then that would be a different matter, but you do, so it isn't.

Have the children been given an option of eating meat, I wonder?

But the mothers house is a meat eating house, yet she still respected the op's preference and provided vegetarian food last week. Surely it cuts both ways? Why cant the op allow the mother to bring her own main dish?

Yes, my dcs are 10 and 7 and know they are free to eat meat if they want to. Ds tried to eat some fish but didn't like it. Neither has wanted anything else. They are fully aware that it is up to them though and do see their dad and other family members eating it.

Good.

I am allowing her to bring her meat dish. I have got the point. I was BU. I get it.