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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset when this boy put a toy gun to my DD's head ?

63 replies

recall · 28/12/2011 17:39

He is 8, he is my FIL's step grandson. My DD is 4, they come round for an hour or so once a week to see us. Today he turned up in a soldiers outfit and had a toy gun. I looked up to see him with my daughter in a pretend headlock with the gun pointing into her head. It made me jump and I said that I found it horrible. Everyone became embarrassed and awkward and they told him to put it in his
pocket.

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 28/12/2011 17:41

What did your DD make of it>?

troisgarcons · 28/12/2011 17:41

Over reaction. Boys (and girls) have been playing soldiers, doctors/nurses cowboys and indians for centuries. It's all role play.

Original poster
recall · 28/12/2011 17:41

He has also been playing Grand Theft Auto six he was 6 , it's a bit much I think.

OP posts:
seeker · 28/12/2011 17:41

I wouldn't like it, but he was told to put the gun away- what more did you want to happen?

Original poster
recall · 28/12/2011 17:42

She didn't understand what was going on, and couldn't see cos she was in headlock, my other two were watching though .

OP posts:
yellowraincoat · 28/12/2011 17:42

It's not the nicest thing ever, but my brother used to do the same thing to me and so far he has never shown any inclination to actually shooting anyone.

Original poster
recall · 28/12/2011 17:43

No, I didnt expect anymore, but WIBU ? Over reacting ?

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 28/12/2011 17:44

Everyone became embarrassed.

This is a good thing. They realised it was wrong. In the same situation my FIL would have thought "how cute" Hmm

Not a nice game, but I think your DD will survive. Just keep her away form Grand Theft Auto. The poor boy. Sad

troisgarcons · 28/12/2011 17:46

remembers being tied to a tree by my brothers mates

LynetteScavo · 28/12/2011 17:46

My very nice, ahem, DS put another child in a headlock aged 2.5, fulling hoping to annihilate them. Far more worrying than an 8yo pretending, but then I can't imagine my 8yo doing this.

troisgarcons · 28/12/2011 17:48

I'm sure some women do it to - but I'm pretty sure paint balling and pretending to be soldiers is largely a male adult province.

MamaMaiasaura · 28/12/2011 17:50

I think you overreacted a bot but then reading he plays gta? Ds1 almost 12 and doesn't play games like this. However ds1 and ds2(4 yesterday) got nerf guns and charge around shooting eachother.

spiderpig8 · 28/12/2011 18:00

was your DD bothered or just you?
You are bonkers.That is how redblooded boys play
Grand thedft auto has nothing to do with it.Boys were doing this in the early 70s when i was a child

Ephiny · 28/12/2011 18:00

It does seem a bit of an over-reaction. My brother and I used to playfight with toy swords and squirt water pistols, no harm was done to anyone and neither of us have grown up violent.

If you think he's playing too rough with your DD and hurting/upsetting her, then YANBU (a 'headlock' sounds a bit much for a 4 year old), but I wouldn't panic about a toy gun.

Ephiny · 28/12/2011 18:06

Though I did hit him in the face with a toy bus once, that caused more pain/damage than any of the actual 'weapon' toys ever did!

Crabapple99 · 28/12/2011 18:13

spiderpig, it's a bit much to say the op is bonkers! It is a horrible image. And gta is totally inappropriate and very damaging. OP, you may be interested to herar there has been research done on male aggression in play, and the conclusion has been that boys are naturally agressive, but htose that act it out in play inergrate it better into their adult personalities, learn to understand and control it more effectively than thiose who are not allowed to, and may grow up confused about their aggresive feelings, and more likely to lose control of themselves. Obviouly, "acting it out through play" means in moderation, not actually hurting people.

pigletmania · 28/12/2011 18:21

It is a bit of an overreaction tbh children have been playing cowboys and Indians, and soldiers for years.

RubberDuck · 28/12/2011 18:27

I wouldn't be worried about the gun, but I would be worried about the headlock. Gun play is fairly common, but headlocks CAN be dangerous and a quick lecture on never ever EVER playing by putting arms around people's necks is well overdue, imo.

Clawdy · 28/12/2011 18:27

Most toy sets or outfits don't have toy guns anymore. Even Woody has no gun in his holster!

Goolash · 28/12/2011 19:38

The gun thing wouldn't worry me.
A child who gets into overly physical play, like a headlock, needs to be corrected.
A grand theft auto shouldn't be played by kids that age.

aquashiv · 28/12/2011 19:49

As a child of the 70's I used to play with guns swords and shout bang bang you're dead alot as I swang from a tree. (Those were the days).
Our children dont have guns although they would love one them. They use sticks when they think I am not looking. I dont like the idea of war, shooting and killing being a game..

There is too much violence war and aggression in the world I dont see the need to turn kiling into a game.

limitedperiodonly · 28/12/2011 19:51

Did he turn it sideways like they do in TV shows?

LadyBeagleEyes · 28/12/2011 19:55

I remember my brother whacking me on the head with a gun when I was a child.
We were playing detectives at the time or something.
It bloody hurt too. He never did become a detective funnily enough.

DoMeDon · 28/12/2011 19:59

YANBU - I wouldn;t like it either. DC do like roleplay though, it is good for teaching boundaries as well.

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