To start keeping a log of what time dh gets out of bed

[nativityneepsntinseltatties]

Dh always sleeps in. It drives me nuts. I can not get him up in the morning. We have a lot of arguments about this. He isn't working just now so stays up late and gets up late. We have two young children and lots of things in the house that need sorting and it isn't getting done because he sleeps most mornings. I am thinking of writing it down in the hope that seeing how much of his life he is wasting in his bloody bed might shock him into some kind of action.

I rather think it would cause more arguments and lead to accusations of pettiness and childishness.

No, that would be nagging.

Tell him the night before that you have to go out at 9am and so he has to be up for the DCs.

He's being very selfish. What would happen if you wanted a lie in too? It's wrong that he just assumes you will look after the children whilst he does what he likes.

Is it the cricket?

All my menfolk are still in bed on account of being up all night watching the stupid game. They had breakfast at 2pm yesterday then got mardy coz visitors arrived . This was, apparently, an unreasonable hour for people to visit.

Yeah it would be childish you are right just feel so bloody fed up of it. We never get anything done. I hardly ever get a lie in. I want us to get stuff done in the house or do things as a family.

Not the cricket no, been like this for years. I wish he would get a job, it would give him structure at least. He is looking but no luck so far.

OP did I write that post?

I also have 2 small children. Yesterday DH got up at 11am. He is currently still in bed.

Oh - just surfaced

Is there perhaps some chance of depression if he has not had any luck finding a job?

Yes because I cannot see that changing his behavior... You obsessing about his failures will not solve this. Only he can change...

Sorry - he needs to man up.

I don't mind them all being in bed per se, it's just I still keep normal hours - so when I'm fit to drop, I have a hyper 11yo bouncing round at 10pm - well that becomes DHs problem then

Ok I won't do it, I can't think what else to do though. I hate it and resent it.

OP -- do you work?

Is there any chance you could go back to work and he can stay home and take care of the kids?

Otherwise, I second the idea of finding something you need to do in the mornings that will force him to get out of bed. Training course?

I don't think a log will help. He knows when he gets up, he just doesn't care.

Does he drink when he stays up late?

He just built our extension although he hasn't finished it when he said he would because he sleeps so much.

I would open the curtains, open the windows wide and drag the duvet on the floor then Hoover around him.

But I am evil.

I work 3 days a week at the moment plus one evening running a class although I don't make any money out of that yet.

I guess this is one of the things that are okish when you are childless, but once you have children can be completely off.

What things need sorting that aren't done because he is asleep? if small repairs ask a neighbour or friend to do it, that will get him going.

If it is about helping out with the children, your only chance is to leave the house before both husband and children are up, and do it regularly, with time he will get to understand that children are not to play with them and turn them on and off as if they were an interactive... toy.

He doesn't drink no.

It's mainly the extension that needs done. We are not in the rooms yet because they are full of tools etc and one needs painting still. House is a mess from the building work.

It annoys me so much when men think they can just do what they like regardless, and just assume that someone else will look after their children whilst they do what they like! A friend of mine was saying the other day about how she and her DH went on holiday with their one year old. It was a 6 hour flight and her DH just got on the plane, sat down, put his earphones in and went to sleep and just assumed she would look after the baby. Unbelievable!

I would be heading upstairs about now and telling him you're going out ALONE and if need be stripping the duvet off him and shoving him iut if bed and /or sending the children in for a jump on daddy then heading out the door. And keep doing it until he realises you mean business as he's being totally selfish and taking advantage of you.

This is my dh too! He has a really tiring job and works really long hours and is currently on holiday and has been for the last week. Early waking is considered to be 9 am. Late is midday. Its beginning to irritate alot!. Especially as his mother has just been staying for a few days over Christmas and thinks I shouldn't ask him to do any jobs around the house ( ie put clothes away, unload the dishwasher) as he has such a busy job. FFS, I work part time and look after the kids, I don't complain, ( much) thats just the way it is and I'm fairly happy with this for the moment but comments from the mother in law really irritated me.

You have my full sympathies OP. I'm all in favour of lie ins but every day really is a bit much.

Does my head in too, if he wants to go out he just does it, If I do it needs to be arranged.

Does he get up early on the days you work, to take care of the kids?

What does he do when he stays up late? Gaming?