to have told my sister what she is involved in will end in someone's heartache and pain?

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

My Dsis is getting divorced soon, having separated from her H some months ago. She is now involved with a married man and this has been going on for some time. She says that he will not be leaving his wife and she does not want him to in any event. However, it seems that she is starting to have very strong feelings for him.

What blows my mind is that he phoned my Dsis and asked her over to his on the night his wife was kept in hospital after having had a C Section. So this fucker's child is a day old, his wife is in hospital recovering from major surgery and he is shagging another woman.

Dsis reckons he is such a lovely man, makes her feel so wonderful, is so kind and romantic and sexy and blahblahblahblahfuckingblah.

So, AIBU in telling her that NOTHING good can come of this? She is now feeling very down and sorry for herself - but that is guilt, isn't it? This is a bad situation with no redeeming features.

I have searched the counsellor's details and it appears that she is a member of a professional body. I really do not want to get involved anymore than I am. If I do anything like report the counsellor, that would be the end of my relationship with my sister. While I most certainly do not condone what she is doing, I do not want to lose her.

It's also a matter of opinion - I tell my counselling students that I don't have facebook and that they should think carefully about their online info however a complaint has not yet been upheld for someone being Facebook friends with someone - I think it's unethical but that's my opinion, it's not fact.

It wouldn't help you reporting her, your sister would have too as she's the client.
Really sorry for you though - What a crappy situation to be in.

Thanks, LaurieFC. I don't think that ethic is a matter of fact - it is more a matter of opinion, isn't it? In any event, I also believe that she is acting unethically.

Yes, I am in a horrible situation, but I am removed from it. The person I feel desperately sorry for is the wife. This is the stuff that murders and suicides are made of.

Can you be 100% sure that her counsellor actually said what your sister said she did?

I really cant imagine any counsellor saying that TBH.

But I can imagine someone involved in a sordid affair trying to make it look like shes not doing anything wrong, its not like anyone could ask the counsellor is it?

Obviously what she is doing is wrong. Obviously someone or many people will be hurt. Your role is harder to see. I think you did the right thing telling her the truth. You can't tell the wife because you don't know her and I don't know that it would be the right thing to do even if you did. Never sure about that one to be honest. I think you keep on telling her what you think, prepare to stand by for when it goes pear shaped and don't get emotionally involved in the drama.

Amberlear, I am only relaying what my Dsis told me with respect to what the counsellor told her. Perhaps my Dsis's interpretation is off course, but as for what I have set out here, it is as I was told.

Not heard from Dsis since the big revelation.

My agency and supervisor would have serious words with me if I was Facebook friends with any of my clients.

Alliwant, not doubting you for a moment! you may be right on your sisters interpretation of it though, that would make sense.

I suppose it's possible the counsellor said 'Oh yeah, he really loves you' in a sarcastic tone of voice (not terribly professional either, but things do pop out) and your sister just missed the intonation.

Obviously that's all pure speculation and the FB issue is a clear-cut no-no for me too .