To expect my mother in law to give me a couple of weeks??

[waitingforalittlelamb]

I am currently pregnant with my first and due in My mother in law lives in Cyprus with my 6 year old neice and her boyfriend. She informed me on sykpe just before Christmas that she is intending to "get on a plane as soon as I give birth" to be here for the first 2 weeks at least. I (very nicely) suggested it might be good if she waits a month or a couple of weeks so DH and I can get used to being parents, and you know, sleep and stuff. Also because I am pretty sure I can't cope with my hyperactive neice as well as her and the boyfriend when I will be in god knows what state.

She seemed fine with it all and then I find out she has had a proper go to my sister in law and told her she's not coming because "she knows she when she's nt welcome", sister in law firmly on my side but MIL not listening.

It's not that I don't appreciate the support but she's very 'full on' and they won't really have anywhere else to go if they are in the country.

Am I being unreasonable and just be grateful she wants to be here or is it not really the end of the world if she comes a couple of weeks later??

Thanks!!!!

Do you have a planned delivery date? If not, you could go a maximum 2 weeks over your due date before being induced. You could point this out to her and explain that she could come and possibly be back on the plane home all before the baby is born. Then suggest she is best to wait a couple of weeks just to make sure.

It depends on a lot of things. First baby - you don't know what's about to hit you. Very different having your mother in law visit as soon as the baby is born and go home again that night to having your mother in law, her boyfriend and six year old niece to say in your house as guests for two weeks when you are also learning to be a mother yourself. Also depends a lot on the size of your home and how easy it is to accommodate guests.

My mother stayed for a week when our first was one week old and dh had to go back to work. DH's parents visited for the day when the baby was about 9 days old.

When dd was born my mother and mil did weekly shifts from 36 weeks so that ds had someone familiar around to look after him and I had help as I had never got beyond 36.5 weeks.

When i had dd, mil visited for a month uninvited. She said she came to help - she meant she would hold baby while I did everything.
My mum visited for a month as well and did night shifts, let me sleep, cleaned and cooked.

I have 2 boys also now and dd is 10. MIL still bitches about the amount of work she had to do (I had a cleaner and ready meals most of the time she was with me)! When my boys have babies I will visit and see baby but come to stay only if invited and maybe after a month or so (unless asked otherwise). Will be happy to muck in with cooking and cleaning.

YANBU OP.

my mam came from a different country to help us when ds was born...she stayed for 5weeks!! she was a huge help to us,done all the house work,ironing,and cooking,but 5 weeks man...god..that was just to long! i think it done damage to our marriage,(were fine now,)
my mam is FULL on aswell,she interupted us every chance she could,every time the baby cried she picked him up...she kept telling us "how" to do it,and all i got was "in my day" arrrrrrrgghhh!!!!
but bless her,i love her dearly and she meant well,i learned alot in them few weeks off her to,and 7 years on she still helps us,our lovely son is adhd and aspergers,
if i had my time again would i have her again?hmmm i would yes,but not for 5 weeks and i would have he 1st week to ourselfs,xxxxx

oh and mil lives near by and never helped...she came over the odd time to be waited on!! grrrrrr....

The difference is, changingnicknameforxmas, that presumably the OPs mother won't be staying with her for 2 weeks and lives closer than Cyprus.