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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to dislike alcohol?

74 replies

KittyFane · 26/12/2011 09:24

Most people think I am and are horrified when I tell them I don't drink. At all.

"Not even one? Oh you've got to have one, Not even at Christmas? New year? That's a bit boring isn't it?"
I am caught in the middle because I don't mind happy drinkers and love my friends and family who get merry, loud and funny!

The other side of things I hate: my friend killed by drink driver, how having an alcoholic parent affected another friend, DH drinking (in the past) and being aggressive.

What does everyone else think and AIBU to want everyone to stop trying to get me P'ssed too?!!

OP posts:

niceguy2 · 26/12/2011 09:26

I'm teetotal as well but more because I'm allergic to alcohol than any personal issues. I've got used to it and it saves me a FORTUNE.

But a good excuse you can use for people you don't really know is to tell them you are a recovering alcoholic.

Original poster

KittyFane · 26/12/2011 09:28

Actually, I'll try that niceguy :o

OP posts:

Ephiny · 26/12/2011 09:41

Not unreasonable at all. My DP doesn't drink, never has, never wants to. I get annoyed on his behalf at people 'nagging' him to drink alcohol (though he is used to it, and just politely and patiently declines) it's as though it offends them in some way that he doesn't!

Fine if people want to drink (as long as they're not driving or getting aggressive because of it) but if someone else prefers not to, it's none of their business.

Original poster

KittyFane · 26/12/2011 09:46

That's it, it does offend people that I don't. :o

OP posts:

purpleknittingmum · 26/12/2011 09:48

I am not teetotal but rarely drink, didn't have one yesterday!

I just occasionally drink a bottle of Bud (hate wine!) at Christmas and New Year and other odd times here and there.

People do find it odd, that's their problem!

Winkly · 26/12/2011 09:51

YANBU, I drink alcohol but have seen over and over again the effects of it being abused, it can be very dangerous as you know and people who push it are rude, but I suspect only pushing as they maybe feel insecure in their choice to drink and perhaps even feel uncomfortable about their own inability to say no.

Personally I would never push a non-drinker, and would check they were ok with me drinking around them (recovering alcoholic, pregnant and the smell makes them feel ill for example.)

scrappydoodah · 26/12/2011 09:52

YANBU I don't drink either. The older you get the less people care, and tbh I rarely get alcohol pushed on me these days. Some times I do still though, and in those situations I just 'lose' the glass.

I smile and tell people I'm really boring, and never drink because I don't like it. I wouldn't lie and say I was a recovering alcoholic. It'd be round the village in 5 seconds flat, and they'd probably refuse to serve me in the wine shop if I went in to buy stuff for a party

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 26/12/2011 09:52

It's funny isn't it? I don't drink, I can't bear the taste. The only thing I can drink is some sweet cocktails and that happens so rarely that it's really once every 5 years at the most. People don't understand why I don't drink wine etc and it feels sometimes like not being a grown up. They almost don't take you seriously when you're sitting there with a coke. Don't give a toss though.

I don't mind others drinking at all, as long as they're not being prats!

Bunbaker · 26/12/2011 09:54

I don't understant why anyone should insist that someone must like alcoholic drinks. It is very childish and inconsiderate.

I do enjoy a drink but sometimes I choose not to because I just don't want to.

FatimaLovesBread · 26/12/2011 09:55

I can sort of agree.
I don't hate alcohol, sometimes I love going out, having a few with my friends and having fun. But sometimes I can completely take it or leave it.
I'll often go for a few weeks or months without drinking much at all.

But sometimes I truly hate how DH can not have any social event without drinking and often getting drunk. To me Christmas and other events don't have to revolve around having a drink or drinking to you fall over.

I'm feeling quite sensitive about this subject at the moment though as DH and I have had a few arguement recently about drinking

DontCryWithYourMouthFull · 26/12/2011 09:55

I haven't been drinking for the last 6 weeks and I must say I wouldn't having it differently. I have been called an antisocial bore but its their problem not mine !

liveinazoo · 26/12/2011 10:00

i am not alone anymore!!!!!!!.get fed up having to justufy not liking the taste.may try the recovering alcoholic excuse to end the discussion faster

Dolcelatte · 26/12/2011 10:00

Of course you are not BU. Why should you think that you are? I don't eat brussels sprouts, even on Xmas day - no difference really. It's true, however, that there is often more pressure put on with alcohol - I think many people are uncomfortable themselves around teetotallers probably because they feel that they are being judgmental even though they are not. It's probably easier to have a token glass and then do no more than sip it or just leave it rather than make a big deal out of it. I have several friends who don't drink at all because they don't like the taste/effect. However, before knowing someone better, if they don't touch a drop at all, depending on age, sex etc, it probably would occur to me that they might be pregnant or recovering alcoholics.

namechangerbat · 26/12/2011 10:02

I dont drink either OP. its not that unusual.

Many reasons why I don't, but also people dont handle me any more because it's none of their business. When in the past people have tried to encourage me by talking to me why I don't drink, I ask them about their consumption. That normally stops them.

YANBU but it really isn't an issue. Each to their own

hermionejgranger · 26/12/2011 10:04

Would they try to force you to smoke too? OK I know it's not absolutely the same thing but it is still a legal way of taking a drug...I think YANBU.

Ephiny · 26/12/2011 10:08

The thing is, you shouldn't have to make up excuses like being an alcoholic etc. It's very odd how 'no thanks' isn't enough, as it would be when offered any other food or drink, people keep insisting that you 'must'.

I tend to have the 'token glass' myself, as I don't object to drinking a little, though it doesn't stop people trying to push me into drinking more, pouring more into my glass even though I've said no etc.

Original poster

KittyFane · 26/12/2011 10:09

Thanks everyone! I know it shouldn't be an issue, I will ignore in future (at New Year!) glad to hear it's not just me!

OP posts:

fatlazymummy · 26/12/2011 10:55

I agree, it becomes less important as you get older. This is my 2nd teetotal Christmas and it's no longer an issue. I think as you get into my age group [51] more people tend to give up drinking for health reasons. And thankfully, people are much more aware of the dangers surrounding drunk driving than they used to be [I'm thinking of the 70's and 80's here].
In any case OP, stick to your guns. People should really respect your decisions regarding what you put into your own body.

electricalbanana · 26/12/2011 11:36

i dont drink because

1 i had a problem with illegal substances and when i drink my guard comes down and i start being silly

2 i have asthma and redwine causes havoc with my chest

3 i think a hangover is a waste of my precious time (cos when i drink i drink to excess- i cant only have one)

4 i will not even have one sip if i am driving (we share the driving OH drives there i drive back)

5 i dont like the taste- if it was in a medicine bottle i would pour it down the drain

so i use the "asthma/driving/have to get up in the morning" excuses.

Crabapple99 · 26/12/2011 11:37

There is no reaon atall to drink, if you don't like it, why on earth shouldanyone try and insist. They have the problem, not you. It may be that they simply don't know what to offer you that feels generous and festive, once you have turned down the alcohol, or maybethey feel you are being a bit more "grown up", Make sure you accept a nice, fairly extravagent alternative, if there is one, like some sort of fancy fruit juice. People who insist on water make me feel totally refected, if I'm trying to be hospitable.

squeakytoy · 26/12/2011 11:48

YANBU ... my Dad never drank, and my mum was a very occasional social drinker (half a lager at a party or a glass of wine)..

I dont understand how people can say they dont like the taste of "alcohol" though, as every drink tastes completely different. Alcohol doesnt have one specific taste. I hate tequila, and rum, but I like whiskey, for example.

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2011 11:56

Are you sure they're 'horrified' to find out you don't drink?

It is annoying though, especially when people think you should have something just because 'it's Christmas'.

I drink, but never before about 9pm and yet I keep hearing "Oh go on, you have to, it's Christmas"

No I don't, and I don't have to keep continually shoving food/sweets etc into my mouth when I'm not even hungry either, 'because it's Christmas'

lovesadirtylie · 26/12/2011 12:12

I dont drink either, I cant find anything to like about it...makes me feel horribly groggy and then sort of fluey the next day.

startail · 26/12/2011 13:07

My Dad doesn't drink, he doesn't like the taste or what it does to people and society I think. He's never really discussed it, but beyond the very occasional glass of sweet wine with Christmas dinner etc over the years he just doesn't.
DSIL doesn't drink at all, just doesn't like the taste.
DH and I drink, we both like the taste, but in the 23 years we've been together I've never seen him drunk.
He's seen me a bit the worse for wear after a student ball etc, but not very often.
DD1 says she's the only one of her Y8 class who's never seen a parent or close relative drunk!
I guess, I've just never seen the point intending a good night out, being sick, feeling shit and broke.

startail · 26/12/2011 13:08

In end a good night

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