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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to dislike alcohol?

74 replies

KittyFane · 26/12/2011 09:24

Most people think I am and are horrified when I tell them I don't drink. At all.

"Not even one? Oh you've got to have one, Not even at Christmas? New year? That's a bit boring isn't it?"
I am caught in the middle because I don't mind happy drinkers and love my friends and family who get merry, loud and funny!

The other side of things I hate: my friend killed by drink driver, how having an alcoholic parent affected another friend, DH drinking (in the past) and being aggressive.

What does everyone else think and AIBU to want everyone to stop trying to get me P'ssed too?!!

OP posts:

Original poster

KittyFane · 26/12/2011 13:16

Worra: Are you sure they're 'horrified' to find out you don't drink?

Ok then! Bemused, amazed, bewildered in a kind of "you're joking! why not? how? why? WHY???, you must, oh go on, just a little one, really? (pause...) are you SURE? Can't I tempt you?"

Nooooo! :o

OP posts:

jasminerice · 26/12/2011 13:20

I didn't have a drink yesterday. I hardly ever drink, maybe once or twice in a year. Luckily a few of my friends don't drink either so I'm not usually the only one. Wouldn't bother me though if I was, I'm of the age where I really couldn't care less what other people think of me!

Alouisee · 26/12/2011 13:25

Yadnbu - pushing alcohol onto someone who doesn't drink is rude. I say that as a drinker. I always make sure I have alternatives for people who don't drink or who aren't drinking.

Solo2 · 26/12/2011 13:48

For me, it was something I grew out of wanting around the end of my twenties, early thirties. It was associated with 'youth' and partying and trying out what it was like to drink and the effect it had. I found I didn't 'need' more than a couple of glasses of wine to be 'drunk' and then I found I could have the same feeling without alcohol at all.

By the time I was trying to conceive, in my mid thirties, alcohol was off the list anway and once I had twins to care for (as a single parent), it never crossed my mind to be anything other than completely sober. So it's around 13 years now since I had any alcohol and I barely even think about it. It remains something I 'did in my youth', that I 'grew out of'.

It therefore still amazes me that almost every single one of my friends and peers assume that alcohol is part of having a good time or part of relaxing. This probably sounds totally weird but for me it's now like someone admitting they need a drug (which alcohol after all is) in order to socialise or relax. It just seems strange, although I totally accept that I live in a culture where alcohol is the absolute norm.

I remember feeling really surprised when a relative stayed overnight and just HAD to rush out and buy some cans of lager or Grolsch or something before he could start the evening. Then I realised that this was and is totally normal for him and the circles he moves in and indeed probably for the vast majority of all the people I know and possibly on MN too.

I haven't had a problem with people trying to 'get' me to drink but then I don't go to pubs. Mostly, people suggest that having a drink is what we all need to relax and refer to it in passing, so that everyone there will say "Oh God yes, I really need a glass of wine" or "Can't wait for the DCs to go to bed so I can crack open the wine" and everyone around will go, "Oh yeah! Tell me about it!" as if we're all in agreement.

I think I'm probably influenced too by the fact that my late mother was an alcoholic but mainly it's because I really feel no 'need' for it anymore, even the odd glass.

LaFilleSurLePont · 26/12/2011 13:52

Squeakytooy.All alcohol does taste the same to me,it doesn't matter what it's flavoured with,I can still taste the ethanol,and that's what I hate.

People say 'Try this.You won't taste the alcohol.Nonsense,I always do.

I have absolutely no interest in it anyway,regardless of what it tastes like,but for me it's all vile.

Bavarianlass · 26/12/2011 14:00

I don't drink either. I don't like the taste of most alcohol and I have a phobia about being sick, so I just don't bother. I get fed up with people saying things like "Oh, you must like x or y? What about trying z?" Why should I? They just don't get it, do they?

If I wanted to drink, I'd drink, and I don't need other people telling me I'm weird just because I choose not to!!

lljkk · 26/12/2011 14:02

I've had to stop because it gives me insomnia (SOB ).
I'll be okay if I go to Spain & have some for lunch. (sigh). Wouldn't drink at lunchtime in this country, normally.
I never drank until I came to live in Britain, age 24+. Before that I was in with a group of same-age friends who were very snobbish and firm in the view that alcohol was only for sad hung-up weirdos.

runningwilde · 26/12/2011 14:04

I feel exactly like you op, I just don't like alcohol, but I get loads of stick for not drinking, people just can't handle me not drinking if we are out

I wish I hated cake too!

notveryinventive · 26/12/2011 14:15

I dont understand why people have to insist people drink just 'because its Christmas' I also dont like the whole notion of those that dont drink must be boring and/or miserable. Dont understand why having an alcoholic drink (must remember we are talking about alcohol not just liquid that passes our lips) makes you exciting and lively.

I do drink and the point Solo2 made about it was something from the youth is an interesting one because that is me. I was all for a piss up good night out back in the day and do still miss it from time to time, but mostly Im quite happy to have one or none.

I think for me is my parents. They are heavy drinkers (I wouldnt be too hesitant to say alcoholics) and do have the mind that alcohol must be consumed to enjoy yourself. If there's a social occurance then there must be alcohol there. We were quite worried about yesterday as we knew we'd get the whole have a drink its christmas thing when we were both (me and DH I mean) quite happy to have nothing alcoholic. I did have a small glass of wine with dinner and DH did have a can of beer, but that was it though I do honestly think my parents cant understand those that dont drink like they do. If they go out for the day say to London they will be ooh Im pooped lets go for a drink, to them its find the nearest pub, to me and DH its where's the nearest Cafe? They're not nasty drunks, but they just vary rarely go a day without consuming alcohol. If its a special occasion it just gets consumed earlier, like yesterday, I wouldnt be surprised if the wine wasnt opened while my mum was doing a bit of cooking preparation BEFORE they went to the pub.

If Alcohol was just invented now it would be made illegal.

ArthurPewty · 26/12/2011 14:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeaandHobnobs · 26/12/2011 14:21

Most people who know me are very used to the fact I don't drink, and don't make an issue of it. PIL sometimes still make a fuss, but they secretly think my non-drinking is me judging them their issues, not mine, IMO!

My stock response is "thank you, but I just don't like it/the taste", ad nauseam if required!

runningwilde · 26/12/2011 16:15

Hate wine, love tea!

yellowraincoat · 26/12/2011 16:25

Solo2, it's interesting what you say about people needing to drink to socialise. I've been noticing that more and more.

I am quite shy and not very good at socialising, but often I choose not to drink. It's very difficult for me in those situations but anyway, I don't always like drinking. Recently though, I've had this conversation with people who seem really confident and most people say they need to drink to socialise.

I find that really sad. After a few years of not drinking when I go out, I know feel much more comfortable with that, and I think most people just don't even try so will always need the crutch of drinking.

HorseyGirl1 · 26/12/2011 16:28

I don't drink either, just don't like the taste. I used to drink when I was a student because I quite enjoyed feeling tipsy but had to drink holding my breath! Ha ha! xx

GrimmaTheNome · 26/12/2011 16:32

YANBU. Anyone who is 'horrified' (or bemused etc etc) that you don't drink is idiotic.

My mother never drank, it just didn't agree with her. She was the life and soul of the party anyway (she certainly didn't need a disinhibitor ).

I don't drink much - don't like feeling out of control and certainly not sick or hungover. I'm the sort who's perfectly happy being the designated driver. Never felt in the least pressured to overindulge.

thegirlwithnoname · 26/12/2011 16:36

Like Purple: I am not teetotal but rarely drink, didn't have one yesterday. I couldn't give a shit if other people drink, I don't nag them if they do.
But, I DO NOT take kindly to being bullied into drinking. I actually call them bullies to their face. Works every time. :o

notveryinventive · 26/12/2011 17:28

Like that idea thegirlwithnoname of calling them bullies because that is what they are, bullies. Its like when you are younger and your peers are pressurising you into doing something you're not comfortable with. Just know with my parents that will do more harm than good.

forehead · 26/12/2011 18:29

I don't drink alcohol because it does not really interest me. I do feel that some people think that i am judging them. I have been called 'boring' and a 'killjoy 'because i don't drink, which i think says more about the people who are saying these things than me.
If people want to drink that's their business and if i choose not to drink then it's my business.

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 26/12/2011 18:45

Same as LaFille. All alcoholic drink has a specific taste to me, doesn't matter what it is. As I said, if a drink is sweet enough and mixed with something else, such as juice, I can just about stomach it. So I could force down an Archers and lemonade or a Sex on the Beach but what's the point. I might as well have an orange juice and drive.

TiggyD · 26/12/2011 18:48

I don't drink. I do find some people just don't get it. I have one friend who knows I don't drink but constantly suggests different sorts of alcohol. The conversation goes: "Would you like a beer?"
"No thank you. I don't drink alcohol"
"How about a white wine then?"

I don't like the taste. I don't like people who act like arseholes when they get drunk. I like being able to drive in the evening. It's usually more expensive than soft drinks. I tried it and got a hangover which I never want to go through again.

If I were ever to get called boring I'd ask if anybody had any cannabis on them or start talking about all the sordid thing I get up to in my spare time.

happydotcom · 26/12/2011 19:42

YANBU.

I don't drink either. I used to be a professional binge drinker and really regret how I behaved when plastered how many people i woke up next to and hangovers get worse when you're over 30!

I love being sober, haven't drank now for 2.5 yrs ( while ttc / preggers/feeding) and feel soooooooooo much better!

elliejjtiny · 26/12/2011 20:49

DH is teetotal. I sometimes have half a glass of something at weddings but that's it. I've been ttc, pregnant or breastfeeding (or various combinations) for most of the last 7 years. I also found even the smell of alcohol was disgusting while I was pregnant with ds1 and although I don't feel that way now I'm quite fussy and only like champagne or pimms. I think trying to force alcohol on people is awful, I think you should do the same thing to them with something they don't like.

KarenMillenCoat · 26/12/2011 21:00

I don't drink much. Love having a few drinks on a night out but only every now and then.

I only enjoy it if I am going out to party iyswim, it wouldn't occur to me to drink a bottle of wine at home in the evening or at a friend's house. If I am ever invited out for a meal or to the pub I usually just have a coke.

If the event isn't worth the hangover it's a waste of a day to drink IMO. But as a result of not drinking much or often I am a complete lightweight and suffer terribly the next day if I do indulge, which just puts me off even more.

orangeLFDThead · 26/12/2011 21:13

My dh does not drink at all. I like to drink a bit but not a lot. I hate this attitude that you have to drink to have fun and you are boring or abnormal if you don't. Its very sad. My husband is not boring, him not drinking means I don't have to not have a drink if I want one because he can drive and he doesn't get drunk and hit me like my exh. Whats not to like .
Dh went out with work the other week he was fuming that they put alcohol in his coke , obviously realised straight away so did'nt drink it. I can't believe someone would try and force someone to drink.

Bavarianlass · 26/12/2011 21:40

I'm halfway through Christmas with my in laws and my DH's sis & BIL, and they think I'm totally boring because I don't drink and they know I never really have. In my mind, they drink FAR TOO MUCH - they never go a day without copious amounts of alcohol. MIL constantly tries to get me to drink various things, none of which I am remotely interested in drinking!

Next time she tries thegirlwithnoname, I'm going to tell her she's a bully - can't wait to see her face

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