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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to dislike alcohol?

74 replies

KittyFane · 26/12/2011 09:24

Most people think I am and are horrified when I tell them I don't drink. At all.

"Not even one? Oh you've got to have one, Not even at Christmas? New year? That's a bit boring isn't it?"
I am caught in the middle because I don't mind happy drinkers and love my friends and family who get merry, loud and funny!

The other side of things I hate: my friend killed by drink driver, how having an alcoholic parent affected another friend, DH drinking (in the past) and being aggressive.

What does everyone else think and AIBU to want everyone to stop trying to get me P'ssed too?!!

OP posts:
SoftKittyWarmKitty · 26/12/2011 22:02

OP, I almost started a similar thread a few weeks ago but time ran away with me and I didn't get around to it. The reason was, I went on my works Xmas do at one of those organised meal/disco things in a posh hotel and decided weeks beforehand that I was going to drive and not drink. I hardly ever drink anyway - maybe a lager a few times a year on someone's birthday or glass of fizzy wine on Xmas day - and quite frankly given the cold weather at this time of year, the cost of getting a taxi home and the convenience of getting straight into my own car and getting home quickly and in the warm, I'd rather drive. So I did. Apart from two pregnant colleagues there, I was the only other non-drinker. I was called 'boring' and told I was 'no fun' Xmas Hmm. My ex was similar and was constantly on about how he'd never seen me drunk and thought I should lighten up and let my hair down twat.

At uni I drank too much quite a lot but after leaving I soon grew up out of it. I'm now in my late 30's and I rarely drink for many reasons - I dislike feeling out of control; I hate feeling ill and hungover, even slightly; it's very expensive (doubly so if a taxi is also required to get home); it makes me feel depressed and more anxious (issues I'm already dealing with so would be stupid to make them worse); I'd rather drive.

I agree that it says more about the people 'mocking' you than it does about you. I think that as non/rare drinkers, it's something we just have to deal with. I'd love some good come-backs though, because I'm struggling to work out how to respond nicely to being accused of being 'boring' and 'no fun'.

notveryinventive · 26/12/2011 22:20

Yeah as kitty said can we have some comebacks please? What do you all say.

I would love to know what to say to my parents without starting an argument. If I call them a bully that wont get me anywhere. So something nice, but that will stop them trying to get me or DH when we dont want to. They were upset with me when i didnt want a beer when I was PG with DD2 and was driving. It wasnt a special occasion or anything and I didnt see the point. DH was quite happy not to drink too, but had a beer just because we were with my parents. Like yesterday I only had wine with my meal just because we were with them, Id have been quite happy with a coke or J2O or something.

Cant believe alcohol was put into a non-drinkers coke Xmas Shock thats really bad, not much different to (well its exactly the same as) spiking someone's drink. Just because its legal doesnt make it a must do. OK so its not the law to not drink, but its not the law to drink either.

Oooh this thread is annoying me now (not the thread, just the stories of people's behaviour to non-drinkers)

Original poster
KittyFane · 26/12/2011 22:25

So many people I agree with on here! Thanks for all of your positive responses!
softkitty Are you me?! :o I feel just the same!

OP posts:
TwoIfBySea · 26/12/2011 22:37

Totally understand you OP. It's the way other people simply don't believe you, as though in a second you'll go "ah, you're right, was only kidding you - pour us a double!"

I used to drink when I was younger, hated getting drunk so didn't. But I had to sit with one to fit in and most times I'd say there was a drink when actually I had just a coke or lemonade.

Now people seem almost offended and I feel like I should be explaining myself. I don't like the taste, simple as that, I don't like curries either but have never had the amount of aggro and people trying to force me to eat a curry! I've also had people try to slip me a drink on the sly. That is just plain nasty.

devonshiredumpling · 26/12/2011 22:45

yanbu you stick to your guns and tell everyone who has a problem where to stick it !!!(i have found not drinking a brilliant way of telling everyone what complete pratts they were the night before )

dixiechick1975 · 26/12/2011 22:53

I drink alcohol a few times a year - have to really fancy it eg maybe 1 cobra with a curry.

Had a couple of glasses of wine at my works meal last week and 1/2 lager when I went out for a curry - suspect that will be it for December! Had one drink on holiday in October, before that a glass of wine in September with a meal out.

Probably works out to a drink a month. Yet when I'm asked by nurses etc for pre op checks and say 1 or 2 units a month they look disbelieving.

dixiechick1975 · 26/12/2011 23:03

I sometimes say to people I'd rather eat the calories than drink them.

Obviously my friends know what I am like and work do as i've been there years (convenient excuse of childcare aswell)

I did get given a bottle of wine at the summer work do to take home as it was noticed by management I hadn't had my fair share Grin - still in the cupboard.

DH has no issue with my lack of drinking - he has a chauffer as required.

I also dislike using and paying for taxis. eg we were offered a lift so I could have a drink but would have cost at least £12 for a taxi home. If i'm only going to have a couple of glasses of wine I just think why bother so I went had coke and drove. I much prefer that to being driven home at 90mph in a dodgy taxi.

Original poster
KittyFane · 26/12/2011 23:12

Dixie- I sometimes say to people I'd rather eat the calories than drink them
That would definately be believable / do the trick!!
< pats large stomach >

:o

OP posts:
Sidge · 26/12/2011 23:24

YANBU.

I rarely drink nowadays - I used to really be able to put it away but I think I reached my alcohol saturation point some years ago.

I like the taste of some drinks but really don't like the effects; even with a small amount of booze I have a headache, joint pains, feel so tired and muzzy-headed.

Over Christmas I have been drinking Schloer, water or tea!

maighdlin · 26/12/2011 23:28

Yanbu you have your reasons and its no one elses business

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 26/12/2011 23:39

Kitty we are as one

Dixie I really hate filling in doctor's forms when they ask how much you drink, as it usually asks how many units per week. I probably have one unit every 3-4 months so I don't want to put zero, but I'd have no idea how to average that out to units per week (crap at maths emoticon). I'm sure they never believe me anyway .

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 26/12/2011 23:41

Or even .

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 26/12/2011 23:42

Oh fuck sod it. Epic fail.

Bewilderedmum · 26/12/2011 23:46

Preferring to eat calories instead - good response!!

I think that sometimes when people are really pressuring you to drink (and it DOES happen) when you say you don't drink - it's more to do with their own issues tbh.

Some people are fine - might say - 'are you sure?' thinking you might be being polite, and they may feel a bit disconcerted etc. Some might think it's a refusal to let your hair down, or wonder why. Others are more persistent - and thats usually because they have their own issues. And many people are fine with it - more for them!

It's quite sad that you are left feeling it's an anomaly not to drink though.

I stopped drinking a few years ago, cos I was using it to self-medicate, so for my own good reasons I choose not to drink.

I still go to parties etc, and usually, if anyone asks, I say I'm not drinking cos am driving, am pacing myself, or just simply that I don't drink - depending on the person/context. But some people can be very annoying, and I do think from my experience, it's usually the people that have an issue with it themselves...

Bewilderedmum · 26/12/2011 23:47

PMSL @ epic fail!

differentnameforthis · 27/12/2011 02:18

I don't drink a lot. Maybe 2 or three, at a push four small drinks when I do. I have an inner ear problem that causes me to feel off balance generally (thankfully only v mild for now) but I find if I drink too much it seems to be worse. This then makes me feel nauseous!

I'd rather drink a few & enjoy them, knowing that I am not going to be feeling horrible afterwards. If people don't like it, it is their issue. I don't understand the desire to get falling over drunk at any opportunity. Don't get me wrong, I used to do it pre kids, but the appeal is no longer there & I have trouble seeing the attraction now. It seems to be all about who can drink the most & not be hungover... Hmm

Each to their own I guess.

Original poster
KittyFane · 27/12/2011 08:12

:o softkitty!!

OP posts:
gabid · 27/12/2011 08:25

Each to their own - I think its rude and unfair to make comments like that. Why does it bother them? I can't stand attitudes like that. I like to have a drink or two, but that's it and I get quite annoyed if someone tries to bully me into something I don't want to do. I would give them a piece of my mind quite honestly.

Break the cycle and stand up for yourself, you have nothing to be ashamed of! If they want to get wasted, that's their choice - and its not a good one at that.

Hecubasdaughter · 27/12/2011 08:34

I don't drink either, get a lot of grief because of it.

Was once told I was rude because I was drinking lemonade at a works do. Someone slipped vodka in my lemonade once 'for my own good' thankfully I noticed because I was driving. I'm fed up being told I have to drink, I don't try and stop them drunking so what gives them the right to dictate to me?

Bunbaker · 27/12/2011 10:16

"I don't drink either, get a lot of grief because of it."

You must know some pig ignorant people. If people gave me grief for not drinking I would ask them why it bothers them so much, and tell them that it says more about them than it does about me.

I do drink, but am a lightweight. Like differentnameforthis I prefer to enjoy the one or two drinks that I have because I like the taste. I don't drink to get drunk and I hate feeling rubbish because I have drunk too much. Besides, more than two glasses of wine gives me a migraine.

LittleJennyRobyn · 27/12/2011 11:47

I Dont drink anymore because i also have an allergy to alcohol. It affects me quite badly.

But even when you tell people this they still don't quite believe you and say "oh surely one wont hurt??"
well actually, Yes it does!!!

It took Dh a couple of years to accept that i couldn't drink even though he'd seen the effects first hand Hmm
He's not really a drinker either but likes 1 now and again

I now usually avoid social situations where alcohol is involved as i don't actually like being around drunk people.

muddysnowballsthenativitycow · 27/12/2011 12:03

Im teetotal. I haven't drunk alcohol for years.
It's not due to excess in the past. I just feel very unwell even on 1/4 glass of wine or anything really.
I tried some Bailey's over Christmas this year and for the past two days i have felt unwell.
Never again, i hate feeling like this.Xmas Sad.
I'm back to being teetotal.

My friends think i'm odd as i don't drink.Xmas Confused.
I do get fed up with telling them, i don't want a small glass and yes, it will do me harm. If i feel sick for days after. Xmas Shock

I just don't think some people realise that not everyone likes/can have alcohol.

TamIAm · 27/12/2011 12:10

I know people like this too - namely my parents. Even when I was pregnant they would insist that 'one glass of wine won't hurt!' (Well, and, maybe it won't - but if I don't feel like it I just.don't.feel.like.it and shouldn't have to justify!)

I honestly think that when I don't drink it makes them feel defensive. They realise how over the top their own drinking behaviours are and don't like that. If they can entice me to drink, then they don't have to examine their own behaviours at all.

Very frustrating.

piellabakewell · 27/12/2011 12:27

I don't drink alcohol, never have (I'm nearly 44)...I don't like the taste of wine or beer, don't like fizzy so mixers are out too. In the days before alcopops that just left vodka and orange, but I'm perfectly happy with the orange juice on its own, so why bother?

My parents drink, so does DP, but other people's drinking doesn't bother me in the least. I respect their decision to drink and I expect them to respect my decision not to.

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