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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that kids should be able to manage without gadgets during Christmas lunch?

99 replies

nicknamealreadyinuse · 26/12/2011 09:24

We went to a nice restaurant for lunch yesterday but....judginess warning...most of the kids in there were glued to a gadget during the meal. Not toddlers they were all about six or older I think. Some teens. Surely they can manage to talk to their family on Xmas day? I wouldn't care on a normal day but think Xmas lunch is a time for family.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2011 19:52

I'm not sure children 'exploring' a packed out restaurant on Christmas day would be very safe.

The OP says I wouldn't care on a normal day but think Xmas lunch is a time for family

Well maybe the families she was judging, do sit and eat together on a normal day...but seeing as though the kids will have had almost a month of 'build up' towards Christmas day/Santa/presents etc...their parents thought it appropriate to allow them to bring their favourite present along on this one day.

happydotcom · 26/12/2011 19:52

We had Xmas dinner with PiL and BiL. BiL thought nothing of looking at new cars on his ipad during the meal. He's 32 ffs!

Not acceptable.

Major cats bum face on!

Goldenbear · 26/12/2011 19:59

gurl, I was at school in the 80's and 90's (early) and there were lots of children that could not listen or sit still at my school. I don't think this problem is unique to 2011!

EndoplasmicReticulum · 26/12/2011 20:01

Children "exploring" restaurants really annoys me. Which is why I bring gadgets for mine, keeps them quiet and sitting at the table, rather than wandering about annoying the other people who are trying to enjoy their meal.

nkf · 26/12/2011 20:05

Just to be clear. Were these your children? Sitting at your table?

pantomimecow · 26/12/2011 20:10

'I adore the stories my dd's tell me and this year we had another guest for lunch'
..but are you are sure your guest was equally enthralled by your DD's stories?

cardibach · 26/12/2011 20:17

My daughter is more than capable of conversing with adults, and of going gadget free for a couple of hours. CHristmas lunch here, though, lasys all afternoon (2ish til 5/6ish) as we have lots of courses and chat between them. This would be unbearable for any child so we have always allowed the children (my sister's DDs and mine) to leave the table between courses and bring table friendly toys to the table. By about 13/14 they have all been capable of joining in for the whole meal. This has all been achieved without stree.tantrums or boredom. Perhaps that is what is happening with the 'electronics at the table' people.

orienteerer · 26/12/2011 20:19

YANBU but to be honest would never consider going 'out' for Christmas lunch with a child/teenager

ivykaty44 · 26/12/2011 20:46

well he was enthralled with one dd's stories - but then that often happens with a new relationship..

quirrelquarrel · 26/12/2011 20:47

What, exploring by going down to the loos and walking around a bit? You're overly sensitive, I think, nothing wrong with kids walking around...as long as they're not rushing around like mad things. In places like hotels there's often empty reception rooms with tables and stacked chairs, you can have brilliant games of hide and seek there.

4c4good · 26/12/2011 21:27

No child incapable of some form of polite and proper conversation should be presented in public until it can.

As for electronic toys and gadgets at the table - the less said the better,

GurlwiththeFrothyCurl · 26/12/2011 22:18

Goldenbear, I have been working in schools since the early 80s and definitely think that children's concentration is getting worse. There are probably lots of reasons for this, but I do believe that the amount of time they spend with electronic gadgets has some effect. I love technology myself (old, but not totally past it), but limited my DSs' use of it when they were young. We kept them busy with verbal games, books and so on when they were little and waiting for a meal to arrive and tried very hard to ensure that they were not annoying people at the next table.

As I said above, I hate it when meals out are disturbed by loud phone conversations, bleeping gadgets etc.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 26/12/2011 22:32

you see this is the joy or modern gadgets - they have volume controls which can be switched off - so they are silent.

My children are more than capable at sitting at a table in a restaurant having a 'posh meal'. (as opposed to a McDonalds ). However I did let DS1 take his phone with him (which he played with all through the meal) on his birthday when we went out, he'd just got it - it was new and exciting, he wanted to show me what it could do, and straight after the meal he was off to his dad's.

As for being shocked at gadgets in church - why???? Christmas day is unique in that the vicar likes to play with the stuff (and she's into gadgets herself). My children takes theirs to evening services as they're not geered towards the youngsters at all (especially not as mine as the only young ones that go).

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 26/12/2011 22:34

as for the judgy pants about how dreadfully behaved children who access to gadgets more than others are...........well

Oh and THE most annoying people I've ever had to sit next to in a restaraunt weren't the kids playing on their gadgets..............but tipsy, adults who, while having a great time laughed VERY LOUDLY all evening at their own jokes.

rhondajean · 26/12/2011 22:35

Yanbu. I hate seeing kids sat with gadgets, it feels to me like they aren't being treated as part of the family.

Yes it's harder work for the adults without them, but it teaches them manners and conversation skills and it's only a pigging hour for christs sake, surely we can all talk to each other for thAt long.

Francagoestohollywood · 26/12/2011 22:45

Yanbu

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 26/12/2011 22:49

so if they have ONE meal a year where they are allowed gadgets they will fail to learn manners and conversation skills???

- sorry come again with that one...........I think I must be missing something.

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2011 22:51

The kids could have had impeccable manners and conversational skills for all we know.

What the OP saw was a snippet...one lunch in the life of strangers with a brand new toy in a restaurant on Christmas day.

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2011 22:51

Snap

Original poster

nicknamealreadyinuse · 26/12/2011 22:52

baroque the point is that surely Christmas dinner IS the one meal when you'd hope family would chat to each other more than any other. Isn't that what Christmas dinner is about?

OP posts:

differentnameforthis · 26/12/2011 22:53

I don't like gadgets at the table AT ALL! It is rude & unsociable any given day!

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2011 22:55

Christmas dinner is about different things to different people.

For me personally it's about staying home with my family and letting the kids enjoy themselves and their toys between courses...not taking them out to a restaurant that is essentially for the benefit of adults.

For others it's about things that are personal to them.

We all enjoy the day differently and that's why I don't think you should judge these families by your own standards IYSWIM.

rhondajean · 26/12/2011 22:58

I'm not just talking about Christmas, gadgets have no place at a dining table, that includes adults with smartphones.

Gone a bit off topic but I feel incredibly strongly about it. It's a every solitary and self centres thing to do at a time which should be sociable.

Mark my words, the loss of the family dinner willbe the downfall of our society!

I would grin here but I can't find the symbols on my new iPad...yes irony...

boschy · 27/12/2011 06:58

well I wish I'd had a gadget to play with at Christmas lunch... PILs and SIL have no conversation whatsoever and my every opening gambit was met with a single syllable answer (maybe it's me?).

So I spent the 3 hour lunch chatting with DDs and their cousin - that was nice, but I did feel like the only one doing any of the conversational work. And when they did drift off between courses I was left to try and start the conversation with the other adults again. DH was useless as was full of cold; and I wasnt drinking as was driving, so it was all a bit DULL.

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