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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with DH

68 replies

Thefoxsbrush · 23/12/2011 19:17

Who has just announced he's going out on the drink tomorrow afternoon/evening leaving me and 3dc's (aged 5,2 and 1) at home!!! I had visions of a nice family lunch followed by Xmas movies ect.... Hmmmmmm!!!

OP posts:
Kayano · 23/12/2011 19:21

Can you not say to him you're not happy with that? He has left it a bit late to tell you.

cheesesarnie · 23/12/2011 19:23

not unreasonable but did he know your plans?
santa wont visit him if hes in the pub

JingleBelleDameSansMerci · 23/12/2011 19:23

Sooo many threads like this... Sad

Bunch of selfish tossers.

OleaAndMarge · 23/12/2011 19:25

If you didn't tell him your plans for the family, why are you angry that he makes his own plans? He's not a mindreader!

Unless of course you did tell him, then YANBU :D

ImperialBlether · 23/12/2011 19:26

Why shouldn't she assume that he'd want to be with their family on Christmas Eve?

Bohica · 23/12/2011 19:26

Is he likely to roll in at 2am, piss on the christmas tree or refuse to get up at 5.30 am to do a whole day of christmas for the children because he is too hungover?

ThatsNotSantasBabyBelly · 23/12/2011 19:26

I don't think you should have to "book" your DH when you have children this age, he should want to spend xmas eve with his young, excitable family and wife.

YADNBU

Original poster
Thefoxsbrush · 23/12/2011 19:27

I have said I don't think it's fair. I can't force him to stay in, just give him my opinion. Apparently his mates have just arranged it today. Yes he did know our plans, we both work hard at work/home through the week and I was really looking forward to a whole day chilling with the family tomorrow.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 23/12/2011 19:27

Tell him he can't as you've already arranged to go out..

Grin
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/12/2011 19:27

You expect one thing, he expects another, OP. Did you both make plans for the night independently, without talking to each other? Some people want the same things - others don't - but i agree with OleaAndMarge, if neither of you told the other, how would you know?

AnyFuckerForBreastorLeg · 23/12/2011 19:28

how stupid of OP

not to assume her husband would want to spend Xmas Eve with his excited young family Xmas Hmm

in my world, going out on the lash with your mates on Xmas Eve is for when you are a footloose and fancy-free 19yo

not a supposedly mature family man

Original poster
Thefoxsbrush · 23/12/2011 19:28

He will roll in drunk but will still get up with dc's on Xmas morn and it won't ruin our Xmas day. I just love the magic of Xmas eve though

OP posts:
Squeegle · 23/12/2011 19:28

It is completely reasonable to expect a dad to want to spend Christmas eve with his family, and support his kids mum!

AnyFuckerForBreastorLeg · 23/12/2011 19:28

not

ChaoticAngel · 23/12/2011 19:29

Tell him he'll have to take one of the DC with him as you're not prepared to do all the childcare.

Bohica · 23/12/2011 19:29

Ole christmas eve in our house at least is a bit of a given as being a family afternoon/evening.

It may be for DH to entertain the children whilst I move presents aboout upstairs or for us all to be togeather and feel the buzz of santa coming.

AnyFuckerForBreastorLeg · 23/12/2011 19:29

are you ok with it then, OP ?

is this going to be one of these "oh he's wonderful dad after all" threads

they piss me off

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/12/2011 19:31

Did anybody say the OP was stupid, AF? Confused

Some people think of Christmas Day as the main event, others make an event of Christmas Eve. I cross-posted with the OP who said that they did discuss it, so yes - he's unreasonable for wanting to change plans at this late stage.

dmo · 23/12/2011 19:31

My boys are 14 and 15 so wont be up early christmas day BUT Dh knows the rules no going out with mates christmas eve cause it spoils christmas day so he is out tonight which will give him saturday to recover Wink

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 23/12/2011 19:32

It's DH's birthday tomorrow and he's spending the day by himself rather than with DD and me as it's the only way he can cope with Christmas Day.

He's the same every year, and it's fine as I know to expect it. It's when you set up unrealistic expectations at Christmas that problems arise.

Maybe your DH needs some time off before the intensity of Christmas Day? Sounds reasonable to me.

Original poster
Thefoxsbrush · 23/12/2011 19:32

No I'm not ok with it, just saying its not going to ruin Xmas day but will ruin Xmas eve

OP posts:
south345 · 23/12/2011 19:32

My dp usually goes out for a bit on Xmas eve but I usually ask him to come home early ish so he's not too drunk to go up in the loft for presents! He's gone out tonight this year instead which is better as him going out on Xmas eve used to annoy me too.

AnyFuckerForBreastorLeg · 23/12/2011 19:33

I didn't say the OP was stupid, Lying

what an odd thing to say

I can see how this thread is going to go though

AnyFuckerForBreastorLeg · 23/12/2011 19:35

gotta laugh at grown men needing "time off" so they can cope with the "intensity" of family life

tiredemma · 23/12/2011 19:36

Christmas Eve is my most favourite, special day of the entire festive season. I would be really disappointed with DP if he went out on the piss. He has gone out today/tonight and Im fine with that.

Euphemia- why does your DH find it hard to cope with Xmas day?

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