To be pissed off with DH

[Thefoxsbrush]

Who has just announced he's going out on the drink tomorrow afternoon/evening leaving me and 3dc's (aged 5,2 and 1) at home!!! I had visions of a nice family lunch followed by Xmas movies ect.... Hmmmmmm!!!

Can you get him to compromise and go out later on once the dc are ready for bed, so you get the eve stuff together and he can go out and have a drink with his mates...

I need time off too! I never said it was just men! DH gave me the day off today - I needed that before the intensity of Christmas!

i need time off but christmas eves not the time to do it.santas coming!

yadnbu

I would be furious.

Neither me nor dh would dream of going on the lash christmas eve.

It's also reasonable to expect an adult man to have an evening out on Christmas Eve for Christmas drinks with friends, Family time is not Prison Time!

OP, tell your husband you'd like him to come home and not get blasted, friendly Christmas drinks are one thing but rolling home sozzled is another!

And enjoy your Christmas Day!

Read all the threads on here today - we all find Christmas intense, and often hard to cope with!

OP when are you going out drinking with your friends? Arrange to do the same very soon (Boxing Day?) and leave him with the children all afternoon & evening. It's only fair.

To me, going out to get pissed on Xmas is what you do BEFORE children. Once you have them and they are still little it should be about them.

I think random's suggestion is perfect - it'd be much better for him to go out later. Christmas Eve is special family time IMO - especially with children that small.

AnyFuckerForBreastorLeg Fri 23-Dec-11 19:28:23
how stupid of OP...

You said this. I wondered why.

Why are you assuming that the thread will 'go bad', it isn't. People have different ideas, surely, but that doesn't mean they won't be supportive of the OP.

I don't find Christmas intense. That's not the word I'd use, Euph.

Panto...funnily enough, some men people don't seem to get that

and some women make excuses for them, poor loves

ah, I get it, Lying

you don't do irony

Random's suggestion is a great compromise! We have solved the issue, OP!

My thoughts exactly that going out Xmas eve is what you do before children, or when they're older. Set not when they're young.

I'm next going out with the girls 13th jan for a few drinks and dc's are sleeping at grandma's

is he going out too on 13th Jan then ?

he isn't taking his turn with childcare if they sleep elsewhere

Do his drinking mates not have kids. Sorry I would be seriously concerned if my DH wanted to spend christmas eve with his mates rather than his family. You do know this.

AF... I wasn't trying to be picky, I really think I don't - it goes over my head.

I haven't even been drinking...

lying you weren't trying to be picky

but you did it anyway < shrug >

No he's not going out on 13th-he works until 9pm.

Some of his friend have kids some don't. He should be home from work soon so I can talk to him properly then. I really dont think I'm being unreasonable but don't want to sound like a nagging wife

LineRunner how would you describe Christmas?

you are not a nagging wife

does he accuse you of that when you "try to spoil his fun" ?

Nothing wrong with just saying 'no, sorry, please don't' - that isn't nagging!

I can imagine my DH planning going out when I felt strongly about staying in, but if I said I really wanted him home and he'd only given a day's notice, he'd go with it - I think that's just basic communication, isn't it?

Did you say to him , no sorry that is not appropriate? My dh would never tell me he was going out. He would say something like, the others are off to the pub after work, is it ok?