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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu to march off with ds1's present and donate it to charity

75 replies

mercibucket · 23/12/2011 18:17

Omg am just so upset about my nasty grabby materialistic ds1 aged 9. Have just put their xmas presents under the tree and his big lego set rattles and is a bit obviously lego. He wanted lego up until last week when he started dropping hints about flipping ipads. Made it quite clear this was not on the cards. Now he's stropping and giving me a hard time about his flipping present and I just think, what a spoilt selfish brat. If you don't all tell me iabu, I'm quite tempted to just give it away and give him something of less value. Saved for ages for this. So upset. Aaargh why are kids so bloody selfish (do actually love him btw but now think I've raised a spolt brat)

OP posts:

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 23/12/2011 18:21

YANBU.

Have a stern chat with him about how privileged he is, and how you'll happily give his present to a more deserving child unless his behaviour improves.

iPad!

Then give him a job to do - stack the dishwasher; empty the bins; tidy his room.

Then . For you, a large one.

mrsjay · 23/12/2011 18:21

I know it would be a faff but i think i would take the presents from under the tree and not put them back till xmas day , and try and calm down , Im sure your son isnt a brat alot of children get over excited and a bit grabby at xmas , although as parents we are horrified at their behaviour , on christmas day i would assume it wil turn out alright , dont give his present away , but maybe next year get him to pick and donate a present to a local childrens ward or something like that ,

quirrelquarrel · 23/12/2011 18:21

YANBU!

Christmas doesn't have to be this godly time where everyone gets what they want. Isn't that the point of teaching kids to be well behaved- so they'll know how to behave on special occasions and when a nice atmosphere really counts. He would react better to a shock than lots of urgings throughout the year which he won't remember.

CheerMum · 23/12/2011 18:22

i'd take it away and tell him if he doesn't stop acting like a stroppy brat you will give it to charity and he will have NOTHING. Do not replace it under the tree until he has gone to bed tomorrow either. (and be prepared to follow through on your threat if he doesn't change his attitude pretty darn quickly)

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 23/12/2011 18:24

God, I would. Repeat that the present is not and was never going to be an iPad. So either he winds his neck in, addresses his behaviour and takes his chances with the present you have or you'll remove it and take it back to the shop tomorrow, not to be replaced. Then follow through if he continues to play up.

SantasHat · 23/12/2011 18:24

You are not being unreasonable at all. You say you saved hard to buy this present and now your greedy son wants more, more more. That makes you feel hurt and upset and rightly so. But if you did give it away to "teach him a lesson" would it make things right? I don't think so somehow.
I can see where you are coming from but just hold on. Try to give him a quiet nudge towards being grateful for what he has been given. Maybe get another adult to have a quiet word?

yellowraincoat · 23/12/2011 18:27

Ugh, this makes me feel so sad. YANBU, OP, I personally would be taking his present to charity already I think.

BandOMothers · 23/12/2011 18:29

Yabu...he's 9 and I can't see why you put them there now anyway...what's the point? It only makes them sit and rattle and poke them...he's a funny age and it would be too hard to remove hi present altogether.

What has he said exactly?

OrmIrian · 23/12/2011 18:30

Don't take it away. Do tell him how mean and selfish he is being. It's never too early for kids to learn that those that love them have feelings too!

OrmIrian · 23/12/2011 18:31

And ask him what he would like you to sell in order to buy a bloody IPAD!

ginmakesitallok · 23/12/2011 18:31

Why are his presents under the tree??

KatieScarlettsCrackers · 23/12/2011 18:33

Tell him you are selling HIM and buying yourself an i-pad

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 23/12/2011 18:34

Taking his present to a charity will not change anything and will end up upsetting the OP (in the long run, when the adrenalin wears off!). Why not return it for a refund (or sell it on eBay if you can recoup enough money doing that if you have lost the receipt or something). Give him whatever other little presents/stocking fillers you have for him... if you don't have any, he doesn't get any.

I know it's Christmas and lots of children can be a bit challenging, but at 9 to be so openly rude & ungrateful for the present you have bought him is not on. He needs to learn a lesson - and sharpish!

(Why have you already put them under the tree?)

Francagoestohollywood · 23/12/2011 18:34

Don't take it away, but make clear that ipads are for adults... not sure in the UK, but here they cost nearly 700 euros...

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 23/12/2011 18:35

Katie - I think it's illegal to misrepresent what you are selling and who is going to want him if she tells the truth??

sitandnatter · 23/12/2011 18:36

My lad is selfish city, so much so I haven't even bought him a present.

I got a roasting in Tescos today. He said a few weeks ago he wants a flat screen TV for his bedroom but then changed his mind and wanted a £200 range thingy for golf. So I got nothing as he can't have both.

Then we went to Tesco's and he saw a flat screen which he wanted, I said not until I've priced it up. He tells me I've had months to price it up. I said why would I price up a present he said he didn't want any more? Apparently I should know that teenagers often say things they don't mean. He has ASD and it all makes sense to him.

He kicks off as he wants it now, I don't do now with big gifts, I do price it up, son doesn't do waiting.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! He also hates Christmas with a passion.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 23/12/2011 18:36

Franca - I'm in the UK. I know more children that have them than don't. Youngest.... 2.5. (Not mine I hasten to add.)

BandOMothers · 23/12/2011 18:36

ginmakes some folks just do that with the gifts...personally I think it's too torturous for kids.

KatieScarlettsCrackers · 23/12/2011 18:37

There must be a desperate chimney sweep somewhere...

aldiwhore · 23/12/2011 18:38

Why put the gifts under the tree if no one's allowed to shake them?

My son wants an Ipad, he's not getting one. He will have absolutely no idea what he's getting until Christmas Morning, and then, in the thrall of over excited present ripping he'll probably not notice he's got very little of what he's asked for. Santa doesn't take requests here.

YANBU OP, your DS isn't being U for asking for a certain thing, not if you've always done the 'requests' - lists don't happen here, they're vulgar in my very personal opinion - your DS is being U for pre-empting his gifts and whining already, but possibly you're BU for giving him that opportunity?

Original poster

mercibucket · 23/12/2011 18:38

Urgh! Ever so slightly calmer after a bit of a sob upstairs. God, bloody kids! Ok have got dh to tell him I'm upset and had a bit of a 'chat' with him about being grateful etc. Present is upstairs and only going back under tree on xmas day if his attitude improves sharpish. Other 2 kids are not like this - aaargh - really pushes all my buttons. (Do think he's generaLly sweet and lovely but this is soooooo out of order in my books)
Thank god for mumsnet - saving me from a flipping coronary - will definitely be having a big after dinner baileys I can tell you

OP posts:

slavetofilofax · 23/12/2011 18:39

Does he have any concept at all of how much ipads actually cost??

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 23/12/2011 18:41

I read it as he was allowed to shake them but not allowed to make nasty, ungrateful comments about them? All mine are under the tree - that's what it's for.

Francagoestohollywood · 23/12/2011 18:43

Chippingin, I am sure there is plenty of children who own an ipad here in Italy too... I am not sure why, but I find it sort of immoral...

2.5 yrs old with own ipad is really extreme

Original poster

mercibucket · 23/12/2011 18:43

We've just always done the xmas pressies under tree a few days before. I used to love all the shaking a guessing part. Would never ever in a million years have dreamt of bloody complaining about it not being x,y or z though. Obviously my parents did a better job raising me (sobs into baileys)

OP posts:

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