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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu to march off with ds1's present and donate it to charity

75 replies

mercibucket · 23/12/2011 18:17

Omg am just so upset about my nasty grabby materialistic ds1 aged 9. Have just put their xmas presents under the tree and his big lego set rattles and is a bit obviously lego. He wanted lego up until last week when he started dropping hints about flipping ipads. Made it quite clear this was not on the cards. Now he's stropping and giving me a hard time about his flipping present and I just think, what a spoilt selfish brat. If you don't all tell me iabu, I'm quite tempted to just give it away and give him something of less value. Saved for ages for this. So upset. Aaargh why are kids so bloody selfish (do actually love him btw but now think I've raised a spolt brat)

OP posts:

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 23/12/2011 19:48

I wonder if at this age, the scales have fallen from their eyes about Santa and Christmas is just not as special any more?

Maybe now that they realise Mum & Dad buy the presents, there's more chance they'll get something really cool, rather than just "toys"?

Then when they're told it doesn't work like that, they're just disappointed?

Who'd be a kid nowadays?! Things were simpler in the mid-70s when no-one had fun electronic gizmos!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/12/2011 19:54

sitandnatter... That sounds impossibly difficult to cope with. How do you choose gifts for him? Do you get a selection if he doesn't tell you - hoping that one will be the 'right' one?

I can imagine that the routine of school is really important to some children... there's no way around that at Christmas, Easter, half-term, school holidays... it must be incredibly stressful? :(

ballstoit · 23/12/2011 19:55

If you've already discussed it with him op then YANBU. Try not to stress too much though, I think all children are pretty over excited at this point. Hope he's doing some serious sucking up.

lockets · 23/12/2011 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sitandnatter · 23/12/2011 20:15

Lying it is the routine that is the problem, if I can say at 8 we will do this, 9 that, 10 the other 11 something else, he'll be fine but I can't be a robot it is just too hard. School gives him the time table he needs and they stick to it unlike me. This year I have promised him a gift worth £200 if he can decide if not £150 cash on the day. I'd rather he spend £200 on a television and have something to show for it so am encouraging him to decide. But he can't right now.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/12/2011 20:29

sitandnatter... Oh. That's very precise. Does it work if you can give a timeframe, eg. between 8 and 10am we will do xyz or does it need to be really pinned down?

One of my friends has an autistic daughter who is 8 and she was very much into robots that she saw at the technology centre. Is that something your son would like?

sitandnatter · 23/12/2011 20:36

It would be great if I could manage it but if I promise time frames and then have to change it, it's worse, so if Mum needs a hospital visit and son is supposed to be doing a b or c it's a meltdown. I try to not pin myself down too much as if I have to go off schedule, there is hell to pay. I'm self employed and sometimes have to sort out work commitments which pull me off schedule. I am trying really hard to try to teach him that timetables are useful but not the end of the world. I'm failing.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 23/12/2011 20:46

Perhaps his teacher at school could also give him the same message, maybe that would add to the credence? It's always going to be difficult there are always be things that will crop up unexpectedly.

Mandy2003 · 23/12/2011 20:49

I blame the Apple Corp (I won't actually have one of their products in the house!) - they made the current TV ad deliberately appealing to children IMO.

FabbyChic · 23/12/2011 20:53

For kids it is about getting what you want, arent they supposed to sit on Santas knee and say what they want so he brings it.

My kids would have £150 of what they wanted and £100 of stuff I picked i.e surprises.

It worked well for us.

I got the xbox before as soon as it came on sale.

THe Wii is a family game for all the family and is for ages from 4 years up. Its great fun.

chipmunksex · 23/12/2011 21:07

I wish I lived in fabbychick's house where everyone gets what they want.

lockets · 23/12/2011 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 23/12/2011 21:17

Oh, you can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need. Think on, Fabs

Is it not about the birth of Christ a bit too? Or at least a nice holiday with your family?

festi · 23/12/2011 21:42

well fabby in this day and age £150/£200, doesnt always stretch far enough to get what you want.

The wii may well be aimed at 4+, but not enough justification for me to beuying one just yet, there are 1001 other things wanted and needed and fun some will be given some wont be given this this xmas.

flippinada · 23/12/2011 21:44

I think you have handled this right mercibucket

Let him stew for a bit!

ohokthen · 23/12/2011 21:48

I do have a spoilt brat Ds my fault entirley. When he strops I threaten to give away to the 1st child I see, either at a bus stop, in a supermarket or threw my living room window.

I have done this, so he knows I will.

KittyFane · 23/12/2011 22:00

Now that you have spoken to him about it OP, I would put the Lego away and say absolutely nothing more about it.
On Christmas morning only if he asks where it is, decide whether to give it him or not based on his behaviour and attitude on Christmas eve/ morning.
If I had done this when I was young , I wouldn't be given a second chance. My present would be gone.

Xmasbaby11 · 23/12/2011 22:04

I understand you're upset, and sometimes presents can bring out the the worst in children, but I do think it's overexcitement and all that build up talking - I'm sure he'll be happy on the day. You've got him a lovely present he will like. Don't rush to judge him so quickly, but maybe you do need a chat about being grateful and the cost of things like ipads - I'm not sure when the right time is though.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 23/12/2011 22:22

sitandnatter posts like yours really do put things into perspective :/ You are not failing, you just haven't got through to him yet x I really hope you can work something out with him tomorrow - so stressful for you both!

mrsjay · 23/12/2011 22:28

Merci buckets glad its all calmed down now and im sure your son will be fine for xmas day . Pfft IPAD i cant afford an ipad

crunchbag · 23/12/2011 22:36

I would do the same as KittyFane.

lifechanger · 23/12/2011 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dementedma · 23/12/2011 22:39

I'm quite surprised how harsh you are all being. he's 9, over-excited and wants something he's heard the other kids talking about.So lets give his present away and teach him a lesson
We have our presents under the tree for about a week before Christmas, and it adds to the excitement and atmosphere. All my DCs make a list - these days with links to websites - so they get pretty much what they want. I should clarify that they don't get everything on the list - but we choose what we can afford from their suggestions. We dont have much to spend so no ipads in this house and they wouldn't even ask for them.
But I think the OP should just have a chat with her DS and stop threatening him.

WinterWonderlandIsComing · 23/12/2011 22:50

Tell him that perhaps an iPad 2 was contained within the lego box and his stroppy parcel shaking has broken it.

Then threaten to donate the remaining lego to your local refuge. And explain that much younger children in this country have shit lives all year and then have to flee their homes on Christmas Eve and also miss Santa.

I took a hard line about this to my DD who was whining about having to carry donations for Women's Aid for the whole ten minutes it takes her to get to school and hand them in

skybluepearl · 24/12/2011 00:11

Christmas isn't about getting what you want! Christmas shouldn't be about demands and material possessions. Theres so much more to it and I dislike the way us adults pander and run with a commercial christmas.

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