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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To stalk my husband using Find My Iphone

64 replies

thinkoutofthetoybox · 23/12/2011 07:25

That's it really. I know his password, so can log on to the internet at any time and locate his iphone (and therefore him).
He is aware I know his password and actually suggested that I can use it to know where he is when he goes out kayaking (he takes his phone with him).
However, I'm using it at the mo to see what pub he's gone too after his work xmas do....
So, AIBU to 'stalk' him or is it ok?. My Mum thinks its a bit stalker-ish.
BTW, there are no trust issues here, I'm just stuck at home pregnant with a toddler so its just another way to pass the time (apart from MN obviously). It also means I don't have to call him every couple of hours to find out whether he's coming home, so surely its a win-win?

OP posts:

mumblechum1 · 23/12/2011 07:29

Personally I wouldn't, as I think it's important for both people to have some space outside the relationship.

And would you really phone him every two hours to find out whether he's coming home? I'd be well pissed off if my dh did that when I was out with my friends.

AFuckingFestiveKnackeredWoman · 23/12/2011 07:30

Your mum is right its creepy.
You need to find things to do, go outside to the park or swimming, baby groups that kind of thing, you clearly have to much time on your hands.

SanTEEClaus · 23/12/2011 07:32

I use Find My Friends in the same manner. Half the time it can't find him anyway!

WhiteTrash · 23/12/2011 07:34

Stalking aside, why would you be constantly calling him? Cant the man have a night out? Yeesh!

Bossybritches22 · 23/12/2011 07:36

Kayaking or other potentially life -threatening situations YANBU

Checking on his down-time YABU although it might be useful to see where he has got to if on a long journey & you don't want to distract him with an ETA update.

Stay on MN instead!

nerfgunsftw · 23/12/2011 07:36

I am happy to let my family be latitude friends ( its easier on Android ). Random examples where it is justified: 1) don't bother phoning for a chat til I am home from the shops
2) am I on my way home now ?
3) when bored at work I can see where.my wife has taken my daughter that day.

Proudnscary · 23/12/2011 07:37

Why the hell would you do this? Is this a serious post?

There are so many other things you can do rather than stalk your husband.

I don't believe you that there are no trust issues. It wouldn't cross my mind in a million years to track my dh!!

LoveInASnowyClimate · 23/12/2011 07:41

It's a bit creepy if you know he's just in the pub. If my DH had an iPhone, I can imagine that we might use this when he's really snowed at work and in meetings all day so not answering his phone so I could at least see what city he's in for an ETA, but we would discuss this use in advance!

Original poster

thinkoutofthetoybox · 23/12/2011 07:42

Oh dear, this was meant to be a bit tongue in cheek, seems I've inflamed a few emotions.
I certainly don't do this all the time, just a one off this evening. I also should explain I'm in Australia so its evening here hence why DH down the pub and me on MN etc. Toddler in bed and DH told me he'd be home for dinner so I'm just wondering whether that will happen or not - he has a habit of getting distracted!
And, I never call him while he's out. I do however worry about him after a very serious rohypnol/robbery/potential kidnapping (ie he was dumped in the middle of nowhere) incident a couple of years ago. Certainly not a trust issue.

OP posts:

Whatmeworry · 23/12/2011 07:44

Good Lord. This sounds like stalking your own partner.

TheSecondComing · 23/12/2011 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShengdanRoad · 23/12/2011 09:15

You're deranged, love.

EauDeLaPoisson · 23/12/2011 09:16

Lord. I sat at home with a toddler and pregnant when DH went on a golf holiday he won. I had far much to do to even think about obsessing where he was

chickensaregreen · 23/12/2011 09:24

Do the people that are slating the OP actually have iPhones? She has said it tongue in cheek. My OH loves this app. He texts me from random places at work to see if I can find him! (a bit like where's Wally!) He also randomly remembers it exists and texts me saying ha ha your at so and so's house when I am off work. I don't think it's stalkerish as long as you are using it for novelty value not obsessively!

ditavonteesed · 23/12/2011 09:26

I think it sounds fun, dh text me the other day saying I can see you, I was in the petrol station and he could see me from his office window. its her dh not some starnger.

chickensaregreen · 23/12/2011 09:28

you're not your! Grr

BertieBotts · 23/12/2011 09:30

I agree with chickens - it's not like she is possessively checking up that he's not socialising with other women or something. Or like she's put it on his phone without his knowledge. (Those would be creepy!)

imaginethat · 23/12/2011 09:33

A friend of mine left her husband because he turned up where she was having lunch having tracked down her iPhone. She was creeped out and that was pretty much it.

niceguy2 · 23/12/2011 09:37

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Moominsarescary · 23/12/2011 09:40

Bloody hell, didn't even realise you could do this, wonder if dh tracks mine. Would be pretty boring for him if he did

KittyFane · 23/12/2011 09:41

Ask him to text you updates every hour/ every time he changes location, No? Too mad clingy? (!)
I don't get why you need to know. Surely you can just phone him in an emergency?

etJeviensEntretesReindeers · 23/12/2011 09:43

I don't know. I would do it if I was cross/couldn't get hold of him when I needed to/felt he was being dismissive of my concerns. But it would be a bit of a confrontational thing to do.

DP has got my old phone at the moment, he's not replying to texts, and it's making me really cross/worried because though he is often a poor replier, he's using MY phone, and I feel somehow that a two word answer to a very simple question isn't asking too much.

So if it was an iphone I might be tempted to do the same thing, but that's because I'd try and justify it with my crossness/his bad behaviour.

It's not a pattern you want to get into really. by all means ask him if he would mind, next time, but when you want to know where someone is you should first of all try asking them directly. And if that feels inappropriate/annoying, then don't do it, but don't stalk them either. iyswim.

chickensaregreen · 23/12/2011 09:44

Thats the other point Moomin. I'm a pretty boring person to track! Don't have anything to hide. Oh look, you're at work again. Yay!

Whatmeworry · 23/12/2011 09:49

Do the people that are slating the OP actually have iPhones?

Yes, in my case. But i also find the continual erosion of privacy by technology a worrying trend.

Moominsarescary · 23/12/2011 09:57

Don't all android phones have this as well or is that something different

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