...to think that if you give someone a home-made food gift...

[PurplePidjInAPearTree]

...you don't expect to get the container back?!

I made their favourite biscuits for each of my three colleagues and presented them Kirsty fucking Allsop style in kilner jars with bows they were cheap in Tesco and I'm skint plus I've been in the job less than two months and don't know anyone particularly well

Two colleagues have since asked if I want the jars back. One in a joky get-9p-for-returning-the-bottle kind of way, the other in all seriousness. My third colleague and I are baffled, so I'd like opinions from the MN Jury please!

Surely the "rules" are the same as for a tin of supermarket biscuits - the container is kept as part of the gift

yes its part of the gift IMO

yanbu. On the rare occasions I've given something homemade I buy a nice biscuit tin to put it in.

I don't think the recipients are being rude. Maybe they thought you genuinely wanted the container back. Or perhaps they are hoping you will refill them again for next year?

If it's given with a bow, it's part of the gift, if it's given in tupperware than it gets returned.

Although my Granny would disbelieve you if you told her that was my opinion, because I always forget to give her her tupperware back

I was a bit taken aback and replied "only if you want it refilled" and a desperate attempt not to look like (I have very nice colleagues and wouldn't like to offend them!)

Hmm, not sure actually. When we go to a family gathering at MILs house, she sometimes gives us leftovers to take home (there's always far too much food), and we always return the Tupperware container. And last time we went I brought a homemade cake in a tin, but I took the tin home with me afterwards, didn't occur to me not to.

Maybe it's different if it's a personal Christmas gift though. Like you say, if you give someone a supermarket tin of biscuits or chocolates, you don't expect the tin back!

Oops, x posts!

Bunbaker, they'd get refilled for next week let alone next year!

We've an office full of chocolate at the moment (client facing) or I'd take in more

Why were you 'taken aback' at someone offering to return a plastic container?

There really really really are bigger fish to fry (and package in a gifted container)

Ephiny, I'd do the same with a doggy bag. But this was a jar with a bow and a gift tag posh, me

At least I'm not being U. One of these days I'll manage it, but knowing my AIBU's we'll be swapping crochet patterns in 5, 4, 3, 2...

No container return expected here. But the Tupperware rule seems a good one.

Glass container. Like this

I don't think them asking if you want the jars back is unreasonable, but then, whenever I give my jam away to all and sundry I always ASK for the jars back! Jars are the kind of things that I would say are normal to give back. Kilner are usually the more expensive of the jar family.

Maybe they've heard you're skint once too often to not at least offer?

YANBU by the way, jar etiquette can be rather tricky.

I'm not entirely convinced to material the container was constructed from is the relevant issue here.

you and your colleagues sound lovely and "naice"..I'd only be taken aback if one of my colleagues was abusive to my face instead of behind my back, not if they offered me a tub back!

oops, I made a Christmas pudding for a work colleague (which she paid for) and asked her to return the ceramic pudding bowl in the New Year!?

Now feeling like a total bitch/skinflint!!

The price she paid barely covered the ingredients tbh and definitely didn't cover the basin...

No you're not being U. But if I was your colleague, without the benefit of the MN Jury to tell me the proper etiquette, I'd probably have offered the jar back just in case you were expecting it!

I also gifted some mustard to other work colleagues, but it was in cheap Ikea jars which i wouldn't expect to get back...

I've done fudge, roasted almonds and chocolate ginger packaged in kilner jars like those, and wouldn't expect the jar back. They're nice jars and are part of the present.

I'd always offer the containers back cos I'm crap at cooking and would have no use for them. :o

I would have offered the jar back.I make jam and chutney and always ask if people would mind giving the jar back,not too put out if they don't but very handy if they do ,why are you so offended by it,common sense I say,it's called recycling.

"Maybe they've heard you're skint once too often to not at least offer"

I don't mention it at work! Apart from the bit where DP got made redundant recently, but that's just news not whinging about finances.

What do you suggest for people you have only known for 6 or so weeks? Homemade biscuits, for people who like eating biscuits, seemed like the best option to me. The jars were £2 each in Tesco and I had the ribbon and ingredients already plus half a gallon of disinfectant and a cat pissed off at being shut out of the kitchen all afternoon My other idea was toiletries (at £8 a pop in Boots or similar) which I'm a bit about for strangers

Oh, and I'm not offended - just a little confused

I always offer jars back (my mate makes wonderful jam) because I know it keeps the cost down for her. Mind you if I smile sweetly she fills it up again for me on the next jam making session . But why would I put her jam hars in the recycling when they can be sterilised and reused?

YABU a bit... It's just a polite question - If you seem like the type to do a lot of baking and preserving (which is a compliment) people might think you would be gnashing your teeth at all those jars lost as you whip up the next batch needing housing. Those jars always look more expensive than they are

Lovely and thoughtful gifts though.