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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think that if you give someone a home-made food gift...

60 replies

PurplePidjInAPearTree · 22/12/2011 18:23

...you don't expect to get the container back?!

I made their favourite biscuits for each of my three colleagues and presented them Kirsty fucking Allsop style in kilner jars with bows they were cheap in Tesco and I'm skint plus I've been in the job less than two months and don't know anyone particularly well

Two colleagues have since asked if I want the jars back. One in a joky get-9p-for-returning-the-bottle kind of way, the other in all seriousness. My third colleague and I are baffled, so I'd like opinions from the MN Jury please!

Surely the "rules" are the same as for a tin of supermarket biscuits - the container is kept as part of the gift Xmas Confused

OP posts:
Feminine · 22/12/2011 19:26

I have copious amounts of cake-y type things given to us.

Nobody wants the plates/trays back.

Original poster
PurplePidjInAPearTree · 22/12/2011 19:38

"I'm not entirely convinced to material the container was constructed from is the relevant issue here."

Not really, no. But there's a big difference between an airtight glass jar and a margerine tub...

Dunno if it's relevant or not but both colleagues who asked are male and well over 50. So not the usual "type" to be aware of baking containers and the reuse thereof!

OP posts:
Besom · 22/12/2011 19:45

I give chutney round to family and ask for the kilner jars back. They might go in the bin/recyling otherwise.

So maybe if they're not the jam making 'type' themselves they have relatives who are?

NeuromanticisedVisionsofXmas · 22/12/2011 19:56

Fuck me people will complain about anything. They were just being nice!

UniS · 22/12/2011 19:58

kilner jars "look" expensive and are re-useable. I have a friend who sometimes gives us preservers and yes I would expect to give her back a kilner jar.

AnnoyingOrange · 22/12/2011 20:06

I would have offered the jar back too. But I can't recall being given home made food very often

Phi40 · 22/12/2011 20:16

I made fudge for the teachers and bought the tiny baking trays - cardboard - from Lakeland and put the fudge in and then in a cellophane bag with a ribbon. I think a close friend would offer you the jar back as they know you bake often but colleagues should assume the container is part of the gift. My mum always takes off the bows and ribbons and hands them back to me with the paper and I find it vaguely annoying but never say anything. I think the wrapping, bows etc are part of the gift

floweryblue · 22/12/2011 20:16

It's just an offer to return the containers, you can just say 'no, thank you' or 'that would be lovely, if you don't want the container I can re-use it'.

BarbaraMillicentR0berts · 22/12/2011 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katisha · 22/12/2011 21:11

Over 50 presumably being thoroughly ancient and pre-war ...

sigh...

BarbaraMillicentR0berts · 22/12/2011 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cherriesarelovely · 22/12/2011 21:29

My friend made us a beef casserole and a jar of satsuma marmalade for Christmas. God, they were delicious! Anyway, she usually makes us amazing food for gifts and always collects the jars/containers back again. Is it a generational thing? My friend is in her 80s.

Pancakeflipper · 22/12/2011 21:32

It's not baffling, they might think you would like them back for other homemade goodie making events instead of them chucking them in the recycle bin.

Katisha · 22/12/2011 22:09

Xmas Wink Barbara

BandOMothers · 22/12/2011 22:45

I don't think I would offer the jar...not unless it was obviously a USED one...with a bow on it its a gift!

Fregley · 22/12/2011 22:46

You're being an arse

BandOMothers · 22/12/2011 22:47

phi that's a bit odd! As if she can't be arsed getting rid of it and dumps it on you! Or it's a hangback habit she learned from her own Mum as part of wartime thriftyness.

Fregley · 22/12/2011 22:47

I gave a tin of home made biscuits. Was bloody glad to get Tin back.

Fregley · 22/12/2011 22:47

You're being an arse

missingmumxox · 22/12/2011 23:09

I ask for my jars back and for good measure stick a pretty please can I have this back if you remember, I don't kick up a stink if they don't remember, If I was that worried I wouldn't give my lovely ball jars out, but as I make stuff all the time it keeps the cost down, and jars are really expensive in the UK.
So I would offer them back to someone but I wouldn't worry if they said they where part of the gift.

Original poster
PurplePidjInAPearTree · 23/12/2011 08:39

I guess I just saw it in the same way as if I'd given them a tin of Quality Street each - I wouldn't expect the tin back then, either.

To me, half a dozen biscuits isn't a very good pressie unless the jar is included too! It shouldn't be an issue next year as I'll know them well enough to get a present that is more suited to the individual.

Fregley's clearly upset that s/he hasn't managed to get a response to their blatant attempts to offend so I shall pretend that neither post happened.

OP posts:
PopcornMouseInAReindeerJumper · 23/12/2011 08:43

It's funny, now that you mention it, I've always been given the container back after gifting food, but I've never expected it.

I think YAB a bit U to be Hmm though - they are trying to be nice :)

Original poster
PurplePidjInAPearTree · 23/12/2011 08:53

Don't worry, Popcorn, my Hmm was saved for after the colleague who asked had left - and my other colleague mentioned it Xmas Grin

Thanks everyone who has given a polite response, AIBU isn't always about life changing dramas Xmas Wink

OP posts:
KittyFane · 23/12/2011 08:58

Just read both recipients were male and over 50

They may not see the jar as part of the gift (Kirsty Alsop style).
They ate the biscuits and saw the jar as a container.
They were polite enough to ask if you would like it back.

In my experience men don't get 'twee'. I on the other hand would have loved this jar and used it for future packets of biscuits/ sweets etc.

Tonksforthememories · 23/12/2011 09:00

We gave home made Wine last year, and told the recipients to return the bottles if they wanted a refill! We got most of them back :o

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