...to think that if you give someone a home-made food gift...

[PurplePidjInAPearTree]

...you don't expect to get the container back?!

I made their favourite biscuits for each of my three colleagues and presented them Kirsty fucking Allsop style in kilner jars with bows they were cheap in Tesco and I'm skint plus I've been in the job less than two months and don't know anyone particularly well

Two colleagues have since asked if I want the jars back. One in a joky get-9p-for-returning-the-bottle kind of way, the other in all seriousness. My third colleague and I are baffled, so I'd like opinions from the MN Jury please!

Surely the "rules" are the same as for a tin of supermarket biscuits - the container is kept as part of the gift

YANBU to say that you don't expect the jars back, but if people have no use for the jars (and you clearly do) then I don't see why you are confused/offended/whatever at them offering you the jars back.

It is part of the gift. (you wouldn't buy someone a tin of biscuits in a lovely tin and say 'btw -I would like the tin when you have eaten them all')

BandOMothers - I know, it's like she doesn't want it in her recycling - but she worries that I'm not frugal enough, so the kinder interpretation is that she wants me to be thrifty and re-use for someone else. But it bugs me none the less.

Can I ask a 'newbie' question - why are some lines in peoples postings crossed out?

Because they put -- before and after the sentence. This crosses the text out. It's a way of saying something whilst pretending not to!!

Pretending not to because it may sound twee, pretentious (or in oyher instances unkind, sarcastic, unPC, etc)

This could just as easily be a thread complaining about giving homemade treats and not being offered the jars back. People take offence at such trivial things these days it's not safe to assume anything anymore.

So sorry YABU.

I think it's very nice of them to offer the jar back.

I've had the same. I consider the kilner jars/swing tops bottles to be part of the present and was vaguely surprised when people started to offer them back. I just demurred politely and said they were intended to be kept, though mil doesn't listen and still presses them into my hands!

I think that people offering jars back aren't necessarily feeling that they are not a part of the present, they just feel that you would be more likely to make use of them than they are. It's a kind thought.