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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse this cake now?

79 replies

tigerlillyd02 · 22/12/2011 01:26

I ordered a Christmas cake with someone who makes them. I ordered a few months ago. Prior to this I'd had a birthday cake from her made for DS at the end of October which admittedly was lovely, hence why I booked in another for Christmas.

Anyway, I received a message from her 26 hours ago, through facebook asking if I still wanted the cake. I've been so busy I just didn't get this message until tonight along with a load of others.

Anyway, within those 26 hours (I've only just logged on to find the messages) I'd received a message (5 hours ago) to say your cake is ready now, please collect before Saturday. That was fine. But then with those I also have messages from 'friends' of hers who I don't know telling me how disgusting I am for not contacting her and a disgrace to society, to get my head sorted out etc.... quite nasty messages which shocked me. AND then I notice she's also plastered my name and home phone number all over her business facebook page telling people to beware of me!

I got into quite a debate about how she didn't allow me much time to respond and I have been busy of which she's just responded calling me a liar and doesn't believe I've been busy as she's seen me showing as online (I'm constantly logged on as it's on through my phone which I also told her). And in the end told her that if this is how she treats a customer I'd rather not have the cake at all.

AIBU to say that after she's made it? I did have every intention of getting the cake, but cannot believe all the grief I received over not responding immediately.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 22/12/2011 01:30

Blimey....

I really dont know what to say other than tell her to shove her cake as far up her backside as she can.

That is certainly no way for someone to operate a business. Not as if a Christmas cake is going to go off in 2 days.

As for the "friends" getting involved...and her putting your name and phone number all over her page, well she has made herself look a twat by doing that.

Beware of a cake ordererer??? What are you going to do? Its laughable.

LineRunnerCrouchingReindeer · 22/12/2011 01:32

Why couldn't she phone you? Did she?

It seems an extraordinary way to run a business, even if you did, in her mind, renege on any part of the deal she believed that you had.

It sounds like she thinks she's been let down, btw. Is she expecting to have money by now, and hasn't?

No excuse for poor behaviour on the internet, though. Not at all.

SeldomSantasBaby · 22/12/2011 01:36

Wow!! She sounds like a real...erm... Credit to the cake making world!! How rude!!

I make cakes to order and if I treated my customers like this I wouldn't be making much at all!! Angry YADNBU at all!! If you are in the northwest I would gladly fill the order for you for collection Saturday Wink

Original poster
tigerlillyd02 · 22/12/2011 01:48

I don't know, I'm quite upset about it as I know I genuinely had every intention of collecting it. She said I had until the end of Saturday in the message so no idea why, just 5 hours after saying that she changed her attitude. I'd have needed to pay when I collected.

She said she did phone me today. I wasn't in. I explained to her I'd been shopping all day which she refuses to believe also and I'm just avoiding her in her eyes. Had she tried this evening she'd have got an answer. We are a couple of days off Saturday, I think it's unrealistic to expect a response within 5 hours.

I cannot believe this business page of hers - picture of 'my' cake posted several times (4 I think) with my name above is saying NAME AND SHAME TIGERLILLY and loads (and I mean loads!) of comments underneath saying how evil, disgusting, rude etc I am by various people.

OP posts:
CowboysGal · 22/12/2011 01:50

YANBU and I suspect her only customers may end up being her friends, perhaps she needs someone to point her in the direction of a customer relations course?

CowboysGal · 22/12/2011 01:52

is there a way to remove yourself from the business page? She sounds like a total loon

HarrietSchulenberg · 22/12/2011 01:52

I'd tell her to shove it up her arse and nip down to M&S for a replacment. But then i'VE BEEN drinkinininge so probably not the best adcvice.

PeaceofCakeAndGoodWineToAllMN · 22/12/2011 01:57

Tell her that she's publicly slandering you and, unless she removes your details from her page, you'll be seeking legal advice. Also state that you won't be buying the cake from her, you've been waiting since October and you find her behaviour unprofessional and slanderous. I'd then report the page to facebook.

Tortington · 22/12/2011 02:00

i'd say this
"whilst i appreciate you would like payment for a cake order that wasn't confirmed. i was busy burying my father and so i am sure you can undertand that facebook was not my first priority. I am saddened that this page has decended into name calling and it has been very distressful to read whilst dealing with my grief. Of course i will not require a cake order that i didn't confirm for a xmas that will not happen for us this year. i feel i have been treated very shabbily and will not be recommending your company to anyone

squeakytoy · 22/12/2011 02:06

custardo, where did OP say her father had died...?

many apologies OP if I have missed previous threads....

Tortington · 22/12/2011 02:13

i dont know if her father is dead or not

an exercise in thinking of others

squeakytoy · 22/12/2011 02:17

oh...

No matter how pissed off I was with someone, I couldnt use that sort of lie. Confused

storminabuttercup · 22/12/2011 02:43

Wow, she sounds lovely.

I would remove myself from the page and report it to fb,maybe after you've taken a screenshot of the message she sent showing the time she sent it and posted it for her friends to see! I wouldn't but it I'd tell her to stick it!

lisaro · 22/12/2011 03:07

Her attitude is the icing on the cake! Sorry - I couldn't resist. She won't be in business long with an attitude like that!

Gonzo33 · 22/12/2011 06:02

I actually don't think I would refuse the cake. I think I would collect it, taking along a screen print of her facebook page and politely ask her if she is going to give you the cake for free in recompense or whether you need to see a solicitor for libel in the New Year.

That may, or may not, make her think twice in future.

Then I would never frequent her business again.

I am an impatient person, but if I say by such and such day I mean it, I don't mean 2 days before even if I would prefer that

Gonzo33 · 22/12/2011 06:02

Oh and I would ask that she write an apology on her fb page too.

TheSkiingGardener · 22/12/2011 06:19

How utterly bizarre. I would put a short, dignified statement on her page and then cut all contact. Totally unreasonable timescales!

runningwilde · 22/12/2011 06:20

Please report this idiot to Facebook, what an absolute tool she is. I would also threaten her with legal action. She sounds unhinged and she needs to learn she can't treat people like this. Her 'business' is not going to last long.

addictediam · 22/12/2011 06:42

As a cake decorator I'd say tell her where to shove it and go to m&s!
Im shocked anyone would act that way.
I always start phoneing customers around a week before making cakes to confirm and make sure there arent any last minute changes. And I tell them then when it will be ready to collect.
As for doing business through fb and posting your details there Shock how rude, she won't be getting any new customers that's for sure, shocking behaviour.

Im actually quite Angry on your behalf. Not all cake decorators are like this.

nicknamenotinuse · 22/12/2011 06:47

I agree, tell her to shove her cake up her arse (and then eat it). Cheeky bitch.

ContraryMartha · 22/12/2011 06:47

That is shocking. And FB is definitely not an appropriate way for a business to contact someone about their order.
Definitely write a response. Something along the lines of:

I am genuinely shocked and upset by this. I definitely wanted the cake, and was looking forward to eating it, but have been very busy and have only just checked my Facebook messages.
I am not sure why your friends have felt the need to message and threaten me and I would appreciate it if you could tell them to stop doing this.
I wanted the cake, just as i wanted the previous cake i ordered and paid for, however I did not want or expect this...
This is really inappropriate slander. Please remove the posts about me.

Kbear · 22/12/2011 06:50

YANBU - she is totally unprofessional and to allow other people to post these comments about you makes her unhinged also.

ZonkedOut · 22/12/2011 06:51

Definitely take a copy of the page, then report it to Facebook - they should remove it for posting your personal details without your permission.

Totally unreasonable of her and her friends to post about you in that way, and to assume you were ignoring her rather than being busy. A Facebook message is no way to send a message you want an immediate reply to - I've had messages from friends that I haven't noticed for weeks! Who checks their messages every 5 hours anyway?

diddl · 22/12/2011 06:53

Of course YANBU.

I wouldn´t deal with anyone who conducts business through a FB page.

As for her friends piling in-is she a teenager?

Crabapple99 · 22/12/2011 07:15

report her to trading standards