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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse this cake now?

79 replies

tigerlillyd02 · 22/12/2011 01:26

I ordered a Christmas cake with someone who makes them. I ordered a few months ago. Prior to this I'd had a birthday cake from her made for DS at the end of October which admittedly was lovely, hence why I booked in another for Christmas.

Anyway, I received a message from her 26 hours ago, through facebook asking if I still wanted the cake. I've been so busy I just didn't get this message until tonight along with a load of others.

Anyway, within those 26 hours (I've only just logged on to find the messages) I'd received a message (5 hours ago) to say your cake is ready now, please collect before Saturday. That was fine. But then with those I also have messages from 'friends' of hers who I don't know telling me how disgusting I am for not contacting her and a disgrace to society, to get my head sorted out etc.... quite nasty messages which shocked me. AND then I notice she's also plastered my name and home phone number all over her business facebook page telling people to beware of me!

I got into quite a debate about how she didn't allow me much time to respond and I have been busy of which she's just responded calling me a liar and doesn't believe I've been busy as she's seen me showing as online (I'm constantly logged on as it's on through my phone which I also told her). And in the end told her that if this is how she treats a customer I'd rather not have the cake at all.

AIBU to say that after she's made it? I did have every intention of getting the cake, but cannot believe all the grief I received over not responding immediately.

OP posts:
iscream · 22/12/2011 07:25

She is totally unreasonable! To put up your name and phone number before the cake pick up date is just...well, I can't even think of a word. She must have some sort of problem.
I'd want to get the cake only because I had ordered it and she has baked it, but I would also not want to get it because of the facebook page. Hmmm. Hard to say....I think I'd feel more unsettled if I went back on the order, even is she is a jerk, at least I would be able to feel confident I kept my end of the deal.

I feel guilty easily. Xmas Blush

KittyFane · 22/12/2011 07:40

Custardo crass suggestion. Biscuit

OP I'm suspecting that this is a 'cottage' business (from kitchen table) run on Facebook rather than a website because they don't know how to set one up.
Report to Facebook and ignore. Are these people friend of yours or people you know?

SeymoreButts · 22/12/2011 07:48

Definitely report the page to facebook, how childish to put all your personal details on it. I would up the childish ante by collecting the cake and then pushing it into her face, custard pie style.

WholeLottaRosie · 22/12/2011 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ZonkedOut · 22/12/2011 07:59

iscream, surely putting up her details at all is ridiculous, let alone before the pickup date?

iscream · 22/12/2011 08:47

Yes, I agree ZonkedOut, I wasn't thinking!

HollyGhost · 22/12/2011 09:09

I would not buy food from someone with a grudge. There's every chance that she's spat on your cake.

PeaceofCakeAndGoodWineToAllMNThu 22-Dec-11 01:57:57

Tell her that she's publicly slandering you and, unless she removes your details from her page, you'll be seeking legal advice. Also state that you won't be buying the cake from her, you've been waiting since October and you find her behaviour unprofessional and slanderous. I'd then report the page to facebook.

This is good advice, and is possibly the only way that you will get through to her. However, I would still beware of these friends that she has set on you.

Robinredboobs · 22/12/2011 09:14

What you need to do now, is "like" this page with the handy button up top. Then post it on her business wall.

HollyGhost · 22/12/2011 09:14
Xmas Grin

That suggestion is genius

LovesBloominChristmas · 22/12/2011 09:20

Robin Xmas Grin

Op that is disgusting behaviour

tallwivglasses · 22/12/2011 09:24

Maybe your local paper or the consumer page in the Guardian would be interested in this story...

SeymoreButts · 22/12/2011 09:26

You could always post the FB page here, and let MN pile on?!

GinSlinger · 22/12/2011 09:30

Yes, post it here. How rude she is to say nothing of unprofessional. I'd want to know who she is so I can avoid here

BlueCat2010 · 22/12/2011 09:30

Of course I am sure she is registered with the Inland Revenue as a self employed cake seller...Wink

storminabuttercup · 22/12/2011 09:32

What did you decide op?

I've been thinking that although her 'friends' ate backing her up she has also shown her true colours to anyone else who 'likes' her business page!!

IDontDoIroning · 22/12/2011 09:33

Perhaps environmental health would be interested in her business and would like to make sure she has all the required hygiene certificates, kitchen set up etc etc.

EnjoyResponsiblyIfSleighFlying · 22/12/2011 09:37

I'd paste this on her facebook page, particularly the final bullet. Give her 1 hour to get al the slander and personal information off her facebook page, issue an abject apology or you'll be notifying FB and your solicitor.

Oh and she can put her cake in a cab to the far side of Fuckoff.

The Data Protection Act (1998) gives rights to individuals in respect of the personal data that organisations hold about them. The Act says that:
Personal data shall be processed in accordance with the rights of data subjects under this Act.
This is the sixth data protection principle, and the rights of individuals that it refers to are:
a right of access to a copy of the information comprised in their personal data;
a right to object to processing that is likely to cause or is causing damage or distress;
a right to prevent processing for direct marketing;
a right to object to decisions being taken by automated means;
a right in certain circumstances to have inaccurate personal data rectified, blocked, erased or destroyed; and
a right to claim compensation for damages caused by a breach of the Act.

TartyMcFalalalalalalalalarty · 22/12/2011 09:37

I would consider forwarding a screenshot to ASA as the page seems to be a business page. Care to name and shame? Would be quite a surprise for her to find lots of potential customers had heard of her tactics and decided against using her after all.

MissMerrynder · 22/12/2011 09:40

Yep, definitely name and shame !

TartyMcFalalalalalalalalarty · 22/12/2011 09:42

You know what? Thinking about it, I would be inclined to take legal advice. You don't know how many people have your name and number as a result of her actions.

VickityBoo · 22/12/2011 09:44

Nope that's awful, I agree. Did she have your phone number? If I emailed someone and didn't get a reply within the allotted time I would call them.

What an awful way to run a business. I run a business and it is annoying when people don't return calls etc but that's life, personal stuff can get in the way.

Knownothingknowitall · 22/12/2011 09:45

She sounds delightful Hmm

I'd threaten her with legal action too, they sound like a bunch of immature, bullying witches, the threat would probably shut them up.

pigletmania · 22/12/2011 09:50

YANBU how unprofessional and rude, she gave you until Saturday fgs! Does she not realise its a busy time of the year and people are indeed busy. Even though, it is not a way to run a business, talk about biting the hand that feeds you. If as a potential customer I saw that page, I would go elsewhere.

pigletmania · 22/12/2011 09:52

As others have said report it to FB, she is in breach of Data Protection putting your contact details on a pubic site where all can see. I would report her to the Police.

TheScaryJessie · 22/12/2011 09:52

If she'd unprofessional to muck about getting her friends to pile on to you, then I wouldn't dare eat the cake now!