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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse this cake now?

79 replies

tigerlillyd02 · 22/12/2011 01:26

I ordered a Christmas cake with someone who makes them. I ordered a few months ago. Prior to this I'd had a birthday cake from her made for DS at the end of October which admittedly was lovely, hence why I booked in another for Christmas.

Anyway, I received a message from her 26 hours ago, through facebook asking if I still wanted the cake. I've been so busy I just didn't get this message until tonight along with a load of others.

Anyway, within those 26 hours (I've only just logged on to find the messages) I'd received a message (5 hours ago) to say your cake is ready now, please collect before Saturday. That was fine. But then with those I also have messages from 'friends' of hers who I don't know telling me how disgusting I am for not contacting her and a disgrace to society, to get my head sorted out etc.... quite nasty messages which shocked me. AND then I notice she's also plastered my name and home phone number all over her business facebook page telling people to beware of me!

I got into quite a debate about how she didn't allow me much time to respond and I have been busy of which she's just responded calling me a liar and doesn't believe I've been busy as she's seen me showing as online (I'm constantly logged on as it's on through my phone which I also told her). And in the end told her that if this is how she treats a customer I'd rather not have the cake at all.

AIBU to say that after she's made it? I did have every intention of getting the cake, but cannot believe all the grief I received over not responding immediately.

OP posts:

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 22/12/2011 09:59

I have read this thread open mouthed!

I would go with the suggestions from EnjoyResponsiblyIfSleighFlying

DontFreekinEatMeImJustATurkey · 22/12/2011 10:07

Disgusting behaviour from the cake maker! SO unprofessional too.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourMincePies · 22/12/2011 10:19

She sounds like a nutcase.

And no matter what, she has made herself look worse than you in the eyes of potential customers.

Even if you had let her down the way she has behaved in posting photo's and personal details, alone with the words 'name and shame' would stop me from ordering anything from her if I saw that.

It's not professional and she comes across as spiteful and a bit unhinged.

And getting her friends involved to abuse you is insane.

I'd stop any contact with her on Facebook itself but keep any messages she has sent you and even take a screen shot of the things she has been posting.

Then, once you have this evidence safe, send her a brief email that states exactly what you said here. You had every intention of buying the cake but have been busy this week and by the time you saw her first message she and her friends had started to post your personal information on the internet and send abusive messages, despite the fact that the deadline she had given you to collect the cake was still days away.

Then say that because of her unprofessional behaviour you feel that she has broken any verbal contract you had and that you will not be doing business with her because of this. And that you will take further action against her if she and her friends continue to post your personal details or send messages of abuse.

Then don't respond to anything else she posts about you but keep copies and screen shots and report everything and everyone to Facebook. If she continues, you can get one of those free half hour solicitors appointments to send her a scary letter.

Can you tell us the name of the Facebook group she has though? I just realised I have a couple on my Facebook and I don't want to use one that does this.

Rikalaily · 22/12/2011 10:25

There is no way in hell I would touch that cake, if she's spiteful enough to put your details on Facebook and have that kind of attitude I'd wonder if she hadn't tainted it somehow (I've worked in too many kitchens!)

GinSlinger · 22/12/2011 10:37

what did people like this dreadful woman do before Facebook etc? Would it have been verbal gossip or would she have put posters on lamp posts? I think people should pass an intelligence test and demonstrate basic manners before being allowed access to the internet.

HoHoOpotomus · 22/12/2011 10:49

OMG this is dreadful on so many levels. I would take the advice above re posting the Data Protection Act on her FB page. I can't believe she runs a business like this via FB, let alone her slagging customers off and posting negatively about you.

I can imagine why you would be upset. I would be angry about this. Not really the time of year to be getting this kind of aggro. Tell her to shove the cake, that you are seeking legal advice re her breach of the DP Act, and go shopping for a lovely cake elsewhere. FFS she sounds vicious and insane.

bintofbohemia · 22/12/2011 10:58

Good advice here, especially from EnjoyResponsiblyIfSleighFlying

What she doesn't realise is that FB works two ways and if she thinks she can badmouth you all over FB it's not hard to discredit her business to all of her potential clients. What a loon. Hope she shits herself when you get all legal on her ass...

craftynclothy · 22/12/2011 10:58

I'm shocked that a business would behave like that and I know that I certainly wouldn't buy from a company that had posted that sort of thing on their Facebook page.

As people have said it is a clear violation of the Data Protection Act. I would tell her that you are seeking legal advice about her actions.

MirrorballMoon · 22/12/2011 11:09

Crumbs! (Sorry) Agree with all the above, and I'm a cake maker. Wouldn't treat anyone like that, let alone a customer! Good luck OP and let us know what you decide to do x

Cherriesarelovely · 22/12/2011 11:17

Unreal! Poor you OP! Agree with the advice above, get her to remove that crap from her fb page asap or else. What a way to drum up new customers!!!

RaPaPaPumPumBootyMum · 22/12/2011 11:19

Agree with the posters who say report to the Police and facebook.

This woman is slandering you and encouraging others to harrass you.

I am sure there is some law against this sort of behaviour and someone more legally minded will be able to advise you.

But also definitely agree you musn't buy or eat the cake now.

This woman is extremely rude and unprofessional, not to mention quite mad.

I wouldn't touch anything she'd produced with a bargepole!

ViviPrudolf · 22/12/2011 11:20

Facebook when used for anything other than keeping in touch with distant friends & sharing relevant & interesting photos = DEVILS SPAWN.

Hope you get it sorted, OP [fsympathy]

Bloodymary · 22/12/2011 11:24

The woman is totally mad, do not buy the cake and get yourself to M+S or somewhere similar.

And thanks for reminding me why I HATE facebook.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 22/12/2011 11:27

Yep, threaten to go legal. She sounds like a child, but a bizarre, obsessive, violent-minded, hysterical one.

And report her to Trading Standards, Facebook, Which?, however many customer-service type advice pages you can find in the newspapers, and find out if her business is registered with any kind of body and inform them too, with printed-out evidence of her 'business' page on Facebook and associated messages.

Don't engage in any personal correspondence with her. One brief cool message to say you don't appreciate being slandered and you'll be seeking legal advice, and then cut contact. If you can resist telling her where you suggest she should shove her cake, her Facebook page, and her attitude. I wouldn't be able to

verytellytubby · 22/12/2011 11:32

She'll have spat on your cake.

DeepPurple · 22/12/2011 12:02

What a lunatic!

Original poster

tigerlillyd02 · 22/12/2011 12:18

Thank you everyone for such nice comments. I'm glad I was within my rights to refuse the cake after that! Well I knew I could but didn't know if it seemed unreasonable on my part.

Ive just been on and had a look and she's removed my telephone number, but still has a photo (just the 1 now!) in her album with "NAME & SHAME TIGERLILLY* on it and all the dialogue. My last message last night, when I was clearly getting nowhere arguing with her and she threatened to then posted my phone number was:

What's that going to achieve other than showing potential customers you can't be trusted with peoples personal details either? I never once said I didn't give you my number, did I? I did clearly state that you never phoned me about the last cake that was made as it was all organised online (and funnily enough I picked it up as agreed via private message considering I'm so unreliable) I was not home today and therefore took no phone calls from you. Please read the messages properly. I have much better things to do than to have an endless argument over it and will not post any further. And just for the record - I am quite a reasonable person and had you handled this a bit better I would have still come to collect the cake tomorrow regardless. You were evidently not willing to budge though, which I will simply put down to your unneccessary anger over a misunderstanding, rather than a reflection of your character.

I thought that was quite polite of me really (I wanted to simply write f-*k off!). However there are still a few messages underneath telling me what a convenient way to get out of paying for my cake! I refuse to answer any further.

It is very tempting though to ask if she's legally declared her business and as such pays tax etc on her earnings...... wonder if she'll get the hint?

OP posts:

TartyMcFalalalalalalalalarty · 22/12/2011 12:28

Good on you for having the balls to.stand up to her. Still think you should link to the page, if not name and shame. And I'd be tempted to just drop one further note: after consultation regarding your publication of my personal details, you should expect to hear from my solicitor in the new year.

perceptionreality · 22/12/2011 12:36

She sounds crazy - yanbu at all. I wouldn't want a cake from someone like that or anything else. You are a customer at the end of the day - the customer is always right.

This kind of thing will definitely hurt her business as she must be deranged not to give you time to get back to her - you could be away and this is a busy time of year. If I saw someone posting nasty messages about a customer I would steer clear. It's just not professional at all. How odd.

bintofbohemia · 22/12/2011 12:49

Yes - please link! Get her to take down any reference to you immediately - how very dare she?!

LovesBloominChristmas · 22/12/2011 12:50

I wouldn't have eaten it if I'd collected it afterall that! What a nightmare.

breatheslowly · 22/12/2011 12:59

Go on - link her page. She sounds deranged.

peeriebear · 22/12/2011 13:11

Link! When 150 people tell her they won't be buying from her as a result of her actions, she might get the hint that she ain't right.

HeidiKat · 22/12/2011 13:11

Maybe the OP doesn't want to post a link as she would lose her MN anonymity, I assume that its her real name on the facebook page.

TartyMcFalalalalalalalalarty · 22/12/2011 13:29

Actually OP, I've just noticed you're in the same area as me. Is this a shop or a private business? Will want to avoid, obvs!

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