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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be offended that everyone who sees me after a recent (large) weight loss asks me about loose skin

61 replies

pingu2209 · 20/12/2011 11:12

Over the past 7 months I have lost 7 1/2 stone. Huge weight loss, so people who haven't seen me for a long time are, understandably, very shocked. However, the majority of them (men and women) very quickly ask me whether I have loose skin.

I haven't seen my father since early August so when he saw me he was really shocked, pleased, but also shocked. One of his first questions he asked was about loose skin.

AIBU to find this attitude by others offensive? I am much healthier and look years and years younger, and if I do say so myself, prettier. Yes I have loose skin on my tummy, but in the grand scheme of things, this is small fry.

What is it that makes people want to know about the downsides of such a huge positive improvement in my health?!

OP posts:
DoesNotGiveAFig · 20/12/2011 11:13

Curiosity? It is quite offensive to ask though, I would imagine they don't realise just how offensive it is.

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2011 11:14

Wow massive congratulations! Xmas Shock Xmas Grin

It is rude to ask so YANBU

noonar · 20/12/2011 11:14

v rude and personal to ask this, imo

TroublesomeEx · 20/12/2011 11:15

Congratulations on your weight loss!

YANBU to feel offended when people ask.

However, I don't think they are BU to wonder either. People are as people do.

A lot of people will wonder, some will be too polite to ask, some will feel they are close enough to you to ask.

But anyway congratulations. 7.5 st in 7 months is no mean feat! Sort of makes my inability to shift my 2st excess inexcusable!!! Especially since I only put it on over the past few years because I am greedy and ill-disciplined...

Angelswings · 20/12/2011 11:16

Blame TV for showing programmes about amazing people, such as yourself who have managed to lose weight.

We get to see all their wobbly bits.

Congratulations

OldGreyWassailTest · 20/12/2011 11:18

Congratulations pingu, what a wonderful achievement. Just ignore the silly buggers!

Original poster
pingu2209 · 20/12/2011 11:19

Folk Girl - don't be dispondant. I had 10 stone in total to lose so I have another 2 1/2 to go. I am expecting the last bit to take another 6 months.

OP posts:
ujjayi · 20/12/2011 11:21

Congrats on weight loss. YANBU to be peeved that others focus on the loose skin but I think it is as a result of tv and magazines and their fondness for "I lost all this weight but have a lot of skin hanging off of me now" type articles. It has kind of been normalised to be so personal with each other.

PattySimcox · 20/12/2011 11:23

They are rude.

Well done

pinkdelight · 20/12/2011 11:24

Wow! Well done. That's an amazing amount to lose so swiftly. And YANBU, they are being very ignorant/rude.

My only question would be - how did you do it??? (please?)

TroublesomeEx · 20/12/2011 11:25

Thanks Pingu! Good luck for the next 2.5 stone.

I think the others are right. You see so many people on tv happy to show the world everything! That I think people are just curious about whether everyone has it.

ThatllDoPig · 20/12/2011 11:26

Thats amazing! Well done you!

I've got a good friend who has lost nearly that much and she has the same problem with that comment. She says "No not really" and moves on.

littleducks · 20/12/2011 11:26

Really? How rude!

But surely the first question that everyone is dying to ask is , how did you do it? That is a alot of weight, must have been a real achievment.

I have 3 stone to loose so would welcome any tips!

flamegirl77 · 20/12/2011 11:28

Give them a hard stare and ask if they want a look?

Very rude. Good for you.

Original poster
pingu2209 · 20/12/2011 11:28

Well Pinkdelight I had 'help'. I had barriatric surgery in mid August - vertical sleeve. I had lost 2 stone before the operation and 5 1/2 stone in the 4 months since the operation. People do not know about my operation - not even my family!

Previously I would loose 3-4 stone in as many months and then gain it all back plus a bit more. I would do this every year! Initially I was 'only' 5 stone overweight, but over the years the yo-yo dieting led me to being 10 stone overweight!!

I decided I didn't want to embark on yet another diet that would just make me fatter eventually. I wanted a permanent solution. Best thing I have ever done - ever (other than my 3 children!).

OP posts:
swanfall · 20/12/2011 11:36

YANBU, that is very rude of them. Maybe fair enough if it's a close friend and they ask you some time after they have congratulated you first, but otherwise it's just not polite. Curiosity is not an excuse for rudeness and lack of consideration for your feelings. Don't be offended though, just rise above :)

Original poster
pingu2209 · 22/12/2011 19:28

I saw my father again today - he offered to pay for a tummy tuck for me!!!!!

WTF!!!

I said that I didn't feel it was necessary and that once I had lost all the weight I would feel happy enough and not need anything done.

Why are people fixated on my loose skin. It isn't that bad either. I would have had it anyway because I have had 3 children!

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 22/12/2011 19:31

I can kind of understand where you are coming from but sorry Id have to ask too because I'd want to know. And I would go for the tummy tuck it will always be a constant reminder otherwise of how you were before. And do you realy want that?

Kewcumber · 22/12/2011 19:36

Not everyone has loose skin and if you don't think its bad then it certainly doesn't need a significant op for nothing.

"And do you realy want that?" well from the sounds of it fabby I would say she wasn't that bothered - she lost weight, she wasn't in a plane crash!

Anyway they won;t do one until your weight has stabilised for at least a year and your skin can tighten up quite a bit in that time.

Its irritating - just say "that comment really irritates me" every time he mentions it and say it like a stuck record.

QOD · 22/12/2011 19:39

wohhooooooooo well done Pingu!

and I agree, how rude! No on has asked me that question at all, but they do constantly ask how I did it

I just say "I've come off the see food diet"

FabbyChic · 22/12/2011 19:43

My belly is huge Im like 9 months pregnant! If I thought Id have lose skin after losing it next year Id not diet! Ouch to be stuck with it. I want to look good naked too.

FrostyTheCrunchyFrog · 22/12/2011 19:44

Well done you!

You must know some super rude people though, I've lost 5.5 stone this year, nobody's been anything but positive. To my face, anyway. Xmas Grin

SebastionTheCrab · 22/12/2011 19:51

They are insensitive.
Loose skin is a sore subject with me as I have it really badly on my tummy from my first pregnancy (I put on 4 stone in my pregnancy and it all came off in less than 2 weeks)
Be proud of your achievement and knowing you are probably a decent amount healthier negates the down side of loose skin in my eyes.

mrsmaltesers · 22/12/2011 21:30

That is so rude!!! But its still considered rude to discuss salaries, but loose skin has no such barriers. I would be so pissed off. You are not being unrsnble!!

TheMonster · 22/12/2011 21:31

What was the surgery that you had?