Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get santa to send DS1 a new message saying he is now on the naughty list.

66 replies

tralalala · 19/12/2011 18:11

Did Portal santa message thing last week. DS1 (aged 6) loved it was enraputured, and a bit nervous when they find out if they are on the naughty or nice list.

Today he has been a true nightmare; hitting his sister and brother, shouting at me, ripping things up, lying, tbh he is like this a couple of times a week.

Would it be wrong to get Santa to send him a you've been naughty message, since time out, ignoring him and threats of not going ot the panto have failed, or is it really tight?

(I will follow it with a nice message.....if he deserves it!)

OP posts:
ViviPrudolf · 19/12/2011 18:14

My sister's literally just this minute shown my Niece her message. Apparently as soon as the words 'Naughty List' were mooted DNiece went ballistic, because she knows full well that she's been a rotter this year, and has just assumed she's getting F-All. She's still bawling now.

And people wonder why the Prulets are yet to materialise Hmm

Kayano · 19/12/2011 18:16

Fil did this to our neice.

Had the opposite effect. Screaming, bawling, hitting people

It was only the nice message 'if she was good for next week...' that got her to calm down

I wouldn't do it because honestly she was hysterical Confused

ShouldDoHousework · 19/12/2011 18:17

Nope - Have just done the same to DS1 (5) after a particularly bad couple of days. Threatened that Santa was watching and would know that he was being naughty! So Santa's message came and he is now convinced Santa is watching so is doing his best to behave with a few minor setbacks but I cannot expect miracles!

GypsyMoth · 19/12/2011 18:17

That's a bit hypocritical isn't it? You complain he has been 'lying'.... Yet you want to punish him with a lie if your own by using 'santa'?

Hmm
Northernlurker · 19/12/2011 18:18

The problem is not with Santa. The problem is you failing to control your son's behaviour. I suggest you address that rather than trying to freak him out. I think this sort of bollocks is really cruel actually.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 19/12/2011 18:20

We went to see FC at the weekend. Son 1 (aged 6) had been weasel-boy all morning, so when he was revolting in the queue I got husband to remove him, and only his brother got to see FC. It worked....for about 30 minutes.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 19/12/2011 18:20

I've threatened coal, too. Don't think I'd actually go through with that one though.

ViviPrudolf · 19/12/2011 18:21

weasel-boy Xmas Grin

GypsyMoth · 19/12/2011 18:22

He's 6.??

And you use 'santa' as discipline for his violence as well as lying

CailinDana · 19/12/2011 18:22

I hate this sort of shit it's really horrible. My nasty uncle used to do it to his two lovely daughters when they were little, ugh it makes my stomach turn to even think of it. How fucked up do you have to be to make up some fat guy who spies on you and then use him as threat especially at a time that's supposed to be for fun and for children? Seriously if you have to resort to such ridiculous tactics to keep control then I think you need a parenting course.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 19/12/2011 18:24

Some people need to seriously lighten up.

Santa has been used a threat since the beginning of time - if technology permits it to be even more real - then why not?!

However, you probably need to allow for a bit of hyper excitement this time of the year :)

Original poster
tralalala · 19/12/2011 18:25

Don't really feel like traumatising him. (well not at this exact moment in time, in other moments...I may feel differently Grin)..Northernlurker..I would love some practical ideas of how to control him. The other 3 are rarely naughty, he is almost everyday...I have tried everything

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 19/12/2011 18:26

Santa has never been used as a thread in this house and never will be. I'm perfectly capable of threatening my dcs enough that they behave without really upsetting them Grin

Northernlurker · 19/12/2011 18:27

Sorry x post - ok so when he hits/shouts what do you do?

Original poster
tralalala · 19/12/2011 18:27

littlestlight...I use anything and everything with him. He is a law unto himself. His childminder said in 20 years she had never come across a child who responses so little to behaviour managment/punishment techniques.

That said he can also be an absolute love, as he is right now playing with his little sister.

OP posts:
CalmDownDearItsOnlyALikeButton · 19/12/2011 18:28

do it.

Original poster
tralalala · 19/12/2011 18:32

Ok- the rules are if he hits it's straight on the step. If he shouts, misbehaves he gets a warning and if he does it again he goes on the step.

I try to never shout at him as it sends him much worse.

He gets stickers for being good. With a reward at the end of it (usually a trip to a friends/ or a the park) .

We talk about being kind etc.

If he is really pushing it I warn him he will lose a story/trip to a friends and always follow through.

the others all respond well, he never has/

OP posts:
HeidiKat · 19/12/2011 18:36

I would be wary of making threats you aren't willing to follow through, if you do the naughty message to say he won't get presents unless he behaves and then he continues to be naughty are you really willing to give him nothing on christmas morning?

ViviPrudolf · 19/12/2011 18:36

Its a cliche to shout SN, but has it ever been considered? My DP was described with those kind of 'never in 20 years' superlatives as a child, but he has had to wait until his thirties to have his ADHD diagnosed. Just a suggestion?

I am NOT suggesting all behavioural issues indicate SN, just that it might be worth considering/ruling out as we all wish it had have been with DP....

Northernlurker · 19/12/2011 18:39

Ok well he doesn't value the rewards and he isn't bothered by the step. I think you need to go further back and distract him from the bad behaviour because he isn't going to be deterred.

What causes the hitting - squabbles over toys? Are his siblings older or younger?

Original poster
tralalala · 19/12/2011 18:39

heidi - I never say no pressies, just less

OP posts:
blackeyedsanta · 19/12/2011 18:41

tralala, I have one like that. i have taken jhim to the gp for a referral. if he does not respond to the childminder after being with her for a while would you consider talking to your gp/healthvisitor? how is he at school?

ImperialBlether · 19/12/2011 18:43

OP, why does he behave like that? Is he getting enough sleep? Does he eat properly? Is the tv on all the time? Is he getting enough exercise and fresh air?

How do you normally manage his temper tantrums, if he's having them regularly?

Original poster
tralalala · 19/12/2011 18:43

vivi - I have often wondered whether he is on the lower end of the spectrum, he has a few obsessional behaviours (like lining things up, jumping in a set sequence, touching his ears when excited) went to the GP be he said not to worry. The HV witnessed some of it and said to wait and see.

He's fine at school most of the time,(if anything a bit scared of his teacher who is a scary)

OP posts:
ViviPrudolf · 19/12/2011 18:46

Yes, I guess waiting to see might be best at this stage. When DP was your DS's age, no one would have really had much of an idea what they were even diagnosing, so at least you and the health professionals who encounter your son will be aware of what to look for, and keep an eye on it.

In DPs day, they just resorted to putting him the shower (fully clothed) when he was at his worst Sad

Swipe left for the next trending thread