to get santa to send DS1 a new message saying he is now on the naughty list.

[tralalala]

Did Portal santa message thing last week. DS1 (aged 6) loved it was enraputured, and a bit nervous when they find out if they are on the naughty or nice list.

Today he has been a true nightmare; hitting his sister and brother, shouting at me, ripping things up, lying, tbh he is like this a couple of times a week.

Would it be wrong to get Santa to send him a you've been naughty message, since time out, ignoring him and threats of not going ot the panto have failed, or is it really tight?

(I will follow it with a nice message.....if he deserves it!)

A consideration is enough to not do something potentially damaging.

If a child has something like ASD then you simply cannot expect the same from them as you can from a NT child.

What's NT, PR?

Which makes me wonder why school haven't picked it up by now?

Neurologically typical

Don't do one for your own DC but make one for a fictional child and mention that you have heard of somebody that is on the naughty list.....

Schools often don't pick up things like this, especially if the child is very high functioning (whole other thread!!) Even as the parent of a child with quite severe autism I can tell you that nobody is in a hurry to tell you your child has a diagnosis.

Ooh yes, Fizzy, I had a fictional child right through my daughter's teenage years! She had a hell of a life, poor fc. Most useful creature I've ever known.

thanks PR

thanks for all of the advice, has definately given me a lot to think about. At school he is incredibly well behaved and very high achieving, he is well above 'normal' levels in terms of maths/reading etc. He struggle a bit on the social side but has got a good friend, who is actually going through process of seeing if he has AS.

I am going to go back to GP and shout a bit, (or really just go on and on until he gets bored of me!)

IB, shouldn't really hijack thread, but ops description of her son sounded familiar...my ds is 8, has older brother aged 10. He is wilful and defiant, hates being told what to do and has a short fuse,quite often flaring into a violent rage for fairly trivial reasons (but often when tired or hungry) . Best strategy is remaining calm but unyielding, but it is very wearing and I don't always manage it. Most of the time he is lovely, if somewhat exhausting (full of ideas and will never take no for an answer...) I just don't know how to stop him having these awful tantrums. His behaviour is so shocking there just isn't an adequate response - not one we have found actually stops them happening anyway, or even that helps to bring him down or stops us getting wound up inn response....

Tralala, snap. My ds is really 'good' at school and is very bright (i know I know, we all think that, and it is in no way an excuse for his behaviour. But it is part of the picture, and I think one if the reasons it's hard to find a solution, but also incredibly frustrating - surely he can see that this behaviour isn't getting him anywhere? He can argue the leg off a donkey though....)

yep, it's very common for children with aspergers/hfa to behave brilliantly at school.
this stresses them out enough that when they get home and are somewhere safe they let it all out

it's the reason that ds1's school refused to refer us and I had to go via the GP instead

and again- above average with learning, but struggling socially? another sign of potential ASD

I really like fizzy's fictional child... Thinking of altering it for other circumstances as well. Really good idea

If you want to crush his childish joy in the magic of Christmas go right ahead.

My ds does not struggle socially, although he is socially unusual in that he much prefers girls or older children. He is not really one of the boys.

thanks thisisyesterday for all the advice. Elliot they sound incredibly similar it yes it is incredibly wearing. he has just been the sweetest boy in the world going to bed, a real delight.

Tiredness and hunger are definate triggers though sometimes it comes from nowhere.

It worries me more about what will happen when he is bigger.

PS Hijack the thread it's great talking to someone who understands! People who only see him at his lovely self think I have it in for him. But when they have witnessed it, they are shocked.