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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to spend £100 on our childrens christmas presents this year?

78 replies

messagetoyourudy · 19/12/2011 13:11

My DH and I don't have alot of spare cash, and this year I have saved for christmas every month. I did it so that we could have a guilt free christmas without having to worry about going into an overdraft or using credit cards.

Last night I got out all the kids christmas stuff and my DH thinks I am spoiling the kids, giving them too much stuff. The £100 each includes all their stocking bits (so about £40 for stockings and £50+ on their presents from us.)

Alot of it I bought in the sainsburys half price toy sale or 2nd hand from e.bay, I figure I have saved for it and budgeted for it. It is more than we would normally spend but it is not excessive, and nowhere near what I know other people may spend. They are 5 and 7 so I figure enjoy the next few years before they stop beleiving.

He wants me to not give them so much and keep it back for their birthdays. I think he is being mean.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 19/12/2011 13:13

I think that is fine. You havent overspent and it isn't going to spoil them either. I am sure they will love their gifts. I'd give them all.

squeakytoy · 19/12/2011 13:15

Doesnt sound excessive to me, and it is bought and paid for. Tell him to stop being such a grinch!

Yulewithadragontattoo · 19/12/2011 13:16

As you've budgeted the money I think it's fine. Will you be able to save to get them birthday presents too? If so then no point in holding anything back now. If their birthdays are v soon and you might not be able to afford much then DH may have a point but not otherwise.

mummakaz · 19/12/2011 13:17

YANBU I would give them all now

Melpomene · 19/12/2011 13:18

I suppose it depends a bit on how much you're going to be able to spend on their birthdays. If you're still going to be short of cash at that point then it might make sense to save a couple of presents for their birthday. On the other hand if getting birthday presents is not likely to be a problem then go ahead and give all the presents now.

I've ended up spending a bit more than intended on my girls (started early, kept seeing things I thought they'd like) and I'm going to save some for their birthdays and probably even save some stocking fillers for next year.

andaPontyinaPearTreeeeee · 19/12/2011 13:20

Who cares - it's done now :o

I think you've done really well to save for it - I'm determined to do that next year.

LydiaWickham · 19/12/2011 13:28

YANBU - but then I've spent more than that on DS. My excuse is it's also his birthday (and just because you've got a Christmas day birthday is no reason to get half as many gifts over the whole year), and that I've just gone and got it and not told DH what it all costs, but then I paid for it out of my 'fun' money rather than 'family' money, so he can't really complain.

Only down side is my parents have turned up with the gifts from them and DB, my god there's going to be a lot!!! (this is before other grandparents and other uncle gifts, who we'll see on Christmas day so not getting them in advance). I'm beginning to get nervious about where we can put it all, currently debating a run to homebase to buy a lot of big plastic boxes to try to contain the see of brightly coloured plastic...

As long as you can afford it, and it'll make them happy, why not give it to them?

whatstheetiquette · 19/12/2011 13:32

It doesn't sound like your DH has been arsed to do anything re sorting out Christmas presents. What you have bought sounds fine, I would give it all now.

SenseofEntitlement · 19/12/2011 13:36

I don't think it is a lot Grin
It depends though - is it one big present and a few small ones, or loads of small ones? Somehow one big present seems better, I don't know why.

1Catherine1 · 19/12/2011 13:39

Its only a problem if you are spending more than you can afford. you are not so there is no problem. Personally I think the only issue is if your kids come to expect it. My mum did this and now wonders why we all see christmas as a big deal and spend a fortune every year.

Rikalaily · 19/12/2011 13:41

I think £100 each is fine, it's about the amount we have spent on the older 3 this year, we have spent about £40 on the youngest (19 months). Ours have got loads for that amount but not spoiling them, they have one main present and lots of stocking fillers. Spoiling them would be buying loads of big things that they don't need/won't really play with/that you have bought for the sake of it.

You have saved for Christmas, Christmas and Birthdays are times when they should have nice things if you can afford it, he's being a tight arse, it's not like you have put in on a credit card or put yourself overdrawn to buy a load of tat for them.

redwineformethanks · 19/12/2011 13:41

I'm in the minority here, but I'd say YABU. Well done for getting bargains and shopping around for good deals, but I still think £100 each is a lot to spend on each child, especially as you're saying it's more than you would normally spend and you are trying to be careful with money.

Francagoestohollywood · 19/12/2011 13:42

YANBU

sillysanta · 19/12/2011 13:43

YANBU

redwineformethanks · 19/12/2011 13:44

I don't think your DH is being tight fisted. I think he's being sensible. If it was the other way round and you were concerned that he'd overspent, I think you'd get replies here telling you that he was disrespectful for disregarding your concerns about how to spend the family's limited budget in the middle of a major recession

nursenic · 19/12/2011 13:44

Good for you Rudy-

Good practical approach you have there.

And as for spoiling your kids, I don't think you have spent excessively. However you have set them an excellent example in that you have not got into debt, borrowed money or spent beyond your means.

I realise that for some, credit is the only way they can afford to budget for any gifts at all but using credit to overspend; that's different.

zukiecat · 19/12/2011 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tringle · 19/12/2011 14:02

YANBU

I've spent around the equivalent in euros on each of mine (in Ireland) and it's been one of my toughest years financially. So long as you're not leaving yourself broke I think that amount is fine. Not at all excessive.

CuriousMama · 19/12/2011 14:09

YADNBU, he is. £100 doesn't go that far nowadays tbh. I think you've done well. Happy Christmas to you and the dcs Xmas Smile

Driftwood999 · 19/12/2011 14:10

Personally I would come to a compromise with your DH, they are his children too. Young children do not count the cost, so I think his suggestion of putting something by for their birdthay is sensible.

ChristmasFuckers · 19/12/2011 14:13

I spent about £200 on my Dd. She's only 9 months old, but that's her 1st Xmas so I am excused. So far I am more excited than her Xmas Wink

GypsyMoth · 19/12/2011 14:16

Yabu

Well, maybe he knows something you don't.... Is his job secure?? Or maybe he fears there won't be much to spare ince birthdays come round and wants some put away for that?

Or dies he not work and have those worries?

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 19/12/2011 14:16

I've spent more than that on my kids - however, they get nothing between birthdays and Christmas. Every penny is budgeted and saved in advance so I won't be getting any credit card frights come January - OP YANBU and good for you!

Miette · 19/12/2011 14:17

I don't think that is excessive. I would tell you to get your dh to sort out all Xmas presents next year, but i know if i did that the kids would get a weird and meagre selection of gifts so i wouldn't do it.

NorksAkimbo · 19/12/2011 14:22

WOW...I guess I wouldn't say YABU...however, I do think £100 per child is a bit too much...do they really need that much if money is a bit tight? I would worry that it sets the bar pretty high, and if things ever got worse financially, they might still expect lots of 'stuff' regardless of your situation. I suppose it depends how old they are...

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